It’s been 18 hours since I began refreshing this page like a lab rat trying to avoid a shock and I still don’t have a reply to my ‘it-must-be-simple’ coding problem.

All and any help appreciated.

(PS. It’ll help me get this blog running properly again too…!)

UPDATE: The astoundingly handsome, surprisingly buff, Dan Ray fixed this problem with almost derisive ease. He can be found/hired/worshiped at Ray-Solutions.com

Popularity: 16% [?]

The first rule of sex-blog club is you don’t sex-blog from the Apple Store during an iPhoto demo.

Given the limited opportunities I now have for reviewing ‘Sister Fister vs. Mr. Mum’ I’ll ask a question instead.

I know from emails I’ve had the readership of this blog splits into three:

1. People who are interested in sex.
2. People who are interested in the jizz bizz.
3. People who are interested in blogging/marketing and running an adult website.

In recent months I’ve focused on group 1, and had less hate-mail than I have when I’ve spent time focusing on group 3. However, as sex is covered brilliantly in a number of places, and 2 & 3 isn’t, I’m wondering how to stay true to my initial aim to blog porn more than sex in general.

I could launch another blog, or split SugarBank into categories, or simply move the focus wholesale and produce more of the long-form, industry focused posts I did in 2005-2006.

Thoughts?

(N.B. I won’t be responding for a while. My internet access is set to be down until near the end of the week).

Popularity: 14% [?]

I’ve been offered the opportunity to buy a small network of websites which makes $350,000 a year for $750,000. That’s a great deal. Unfortunately I don’t have $750K right now and I don’t want to buy the sites for someone else. What I need is a loan, or a partner, who I can pay back over a couple of years, happy to take a very healthy return on a business which – lets be honest – is a bit shady.

You know where to find me (And you do. Often.) Let me know if a 100% return or a 25% slice sound good to you. I’d rather not do a deal, than wind up minority partner in a business I’d be running.

Otherwise I’m going to have sell something.

Anyone need a liver?

Popularity: 10% [?]

Long-time SugarBank readers will know I have a tendency to redesign every time the temperature changes by three or more degrees. Most of what I’ve done thus far has been a mixture of learning from past mistakes and wild experimentation fueled by ad deals, boredom and exposure to some of the jaw-droppingly nice layouts other people have coaxed from Wordpress. This redesign goes deeper though and has a few new features so I’d I’ll talk you though it.

Feed-readers who think websites are too 20th century to care about – normal service will resume shortly.

So here’s a brief summary of the changes and improvements:

To encourage feedback the top 10 commenters over the last few months are now listed on every page.

You get to see your name (fun!) and if you have a site/blog your name is linked and you can use that list to get traffic from SugarBank. I figure the people who read the site will have read a lot of your comments and probably want to know who the hell you are.

The rankings will change over time. Right now the rankings go back six months, I may change that if it doesn’t seem right, gets boring or causes a shift in space-time continuity.

User editable comments
No more will you have to re-post corrections or feel dumb for making a mistake. Click on the box over your comment to launch an AJAX editing box you can use to put sense into your nonsense.

I’ve also added captions to images. So there.

I’ve limited the correction time to 15 minutes so conversations aren’t revised in ways that make later entries seem nonsensical. (plugin)

Related Posts
Lists of related posts beneath each entry makes finding similar posts easier. I don’t need an image for this, just scroll down.

Last modified dates
The ‘Last modified’ date will show on any post I’ve touched since publication. It makes spotting my revisionist history changes easy, useful if you’re coming back to comment as I might have made a correction, acknowledged a comment or removed an error since you read the original. You can see it workinghere, just beside the publish date at the top left of the page beneath the title.

An index
I’ve indexed SugarBank by name and tag, an idea I stole from the ‘Wall Street Journal’. You can quickly find every post which mentions an individual, vanity search for kicks, or view posts using any of the top 200 keywords in use.

Improved search
Searches now (finally!) return the number of results found, and include links to related searches. For example this search for ‘sexy video‘. Unlike the old site, the search box (top right of the page) works on every page. It should have before but… it just didn’t. Sorry. Fixed.

Post summaries
Post summaries condense the core of each post into a single sentence which makes skimming posts easier and adds richness to search results and other post listings. The summaries are always presented in italics below the main post title. See the top of this page, or the column of recent posts below and to the left for examples.

Faster page loads
Thanks to a one-full post per page limit you no longer have to load megabytes of redundant information. To keep the site easy to skim, 15 posts are presented on each page but only one in full, the others as title and summary only. As a bonus, larger images, the cause of the last design’s geologically slow load times, are now all shown in full. This design accommodates wide, tall and very large images with equal aplomb.

Bigger, better video
I’m now hosting all the video I can to prevent posts ‘rotting’ when clips are removed from other sites (like YouTube, bastards). I’m taking the opportunity to offer clips at larger sizes and in better quality than is common elsewhere because that’s what I’d like to see on the blogs I read. It’s expensive and time consuming but worth it. Check this out for an example:

Improved typography
Everything here should be easier to read than before. Post bodies have been shrunk into a column format aimed at optimizing line-lengths for legibility and I spent a lot of time thinking about colors, spacing and fonts too. It’s hard to make screen-text pretty, but this should be legible.

Better advertising
More of each page is given to content but more prominent ads are displayed on older posts. This should encourage people to link here – many of whom are put off by visible ads – and reward regular visitors by making their reading almost ad free. As most people are visiting old posts it shouldn’t hit income much at all (he said confidently).

This redesign has forced me to go through every post since the start of the blog to tweak, add fields and fix typos. It was educational, I have a clear idea of how the blogs evolved and what I’d like to do more and less of. As for design and layout changes, I doubt they’re over – this is a fundamental change I’m sure there’ll be more to do, but I can say the blog has never looked or read better. If you’ve been here a while thanks for your kindness, I can’t believe how many typos there were (are).

Let me know what you think. I’ll be back on Monday – I’m going to Paris for the weekend.

Popularity: 32% [?]

…is probably Babeonaut. With 500-600 posts a day it’s like drinking from a babe spewing fire-hydrant.

Surf with your eyes (because links are so 1998), click through to what you like, subscribe and get bigger photos in the RSS feed.

Total overkill or… please Xenu, blessings and peace be upon you… pretty useful. Take a look and if/when it breaks feel good about being one of the first people to see it.

Popularity: 31% [?]

The last time I discussed a plugin I wanted here someone built it. Thinking it might be even easier if I offer to pay for it, though I won’t force anyone to accept, I thought I’d see what happens if I explain what I’m looking for here.

I’m looking for a Wordpress 2.1.x plugin which does the following:

1. Looks at any newly entered post in Wordpress – they’ll be received via RSS and created by an aggregator plugin.
2. Removes everything but the image in the received post (or largest image if there’s more than one).
3. Crops the image to the largest square possible, reduces the size of the image to a size defined in the admin section, and sharpens the result by a set amount.

Obviously the edited post should be saved again, which doesn’t seem complicated to me but neither do women and if you’ve ever taken one apart you know how messy they are inside.

Let me know if you can do the above and how much you’d like to rake me over the coals for charge me – you evil genius you.

If there’s a way of doing any of this already feel free to educate me.

Popularity: 35% [?]

Yesterday we upgraded the SugarBank server to cope with increasing loads and provide the more advanced systems and software required for an extensive planned upgrade.

Dr. Falken says Joshua should be ready now.

A couple of comments were lost when we made the switch. If you’re feeling censored and commented yesterday don’t panic/freak-out/bitch to me via email – it’s just a tech thing. Please repost your wisdom.

Watch this space. Stuff will happen.

Popularity: 30% [?]

In Europe, outside certain religious communities, it’s hard to find someone who doesn’t think cutting the end off an infant’s dick is a bad idea. In America, as any Euro who’s dated there knows, opinions differ. With a good urologist making $300 a procedure, and doing up to five circumcisions a day (it’s the most commonly performed surgical procedure in America), the reasons foreskin’s slightly less hip in the US than members only jackets are clear. Most American women who’ve never experienced a natural penis claim to prefer the cut version they’re used to. The dice are loaded.

The British Journal of Urology’s new study (commissioned by NOCIRC), “Fine-touch pressure thresholds in the adult penis” explains:

“The study shows that the foreskin is the most sensitive portion of the penis,” said study coauthor Robert Van Howe, a pediatrician at the Marquette General Health System in Marquette, Michigan. “It’s not like you’re chopping off plain old skin. The analogy would be like removing your lips, because the lips are more sensitive than the skin around them.”

And

“…the study authors say they’ve achieved something new with their study: a comparative sensory mapping of the male organ.

This new cartography of the penis proffers nineteen zones. Missing from the circumcised male are eight of these penile destinations, four on the dorsal side (the outer prepuce, the orifice rim, the muco-cutaneous junction, the ridged band) and four on the ventral (frenulum near ridged band, frenulum at muco-cutaneous junction, orifice rim, and outer prepuce). Missing from the uncircumcised anatomy are two regions on this new map, and they’re both scars.

In the areas that cut and uncut men have in common, the study showed a sensitivity deficit of between two and thirty-three percent. In those areas peculiar to the intact penis, the deficit is by definition 100 percent. And it’s in those areas, the study concludes, where most of the sensory action is. Perhaps the most salient of the report’s findings is that “the transitional region from the external to the internal prepuce is the most sensitive region of the uncircumcised penis and more sensitive than the most sensitive region of the circumcised penis.”

The porn industry plays a part. Manned by lilliputian intellects, and with Jewish men making up a large portion of all male talent, uncut cock’s are seldom seen. The American public’s feeling that uncut means unclean feeds a myth about disease and foreskin which people tend not to question. Even if a cut penis is fractionally easier to clean and therefore slightly less likely to carry harmful bacteria, a vagina’s easier to clean when it’s sewn shut and we don’t generally favor that.

With a generation seeing more strange cock on the web as teens than our parents did in a lifetime, the feeling that ‘US porn cock’ IS cock will spread. With the US advocating circumcision in Africa as an HIV prevention measure (ignoring the fact condoms work better) it’s a good time for people who care about free-will and sexual pleasure to point out starting every boys life by amputating the most sensitive part of his body lies somewhere between unwise and criminal.

Change comes from the young, the young watch porn, and porn has categorized uncut cock as an exclusively gay fetish. Time for a change?

(via Nerve)

Popularity: 35% [?]

I’m in Los Angeles on business and need tits.

They have to be surgically enhanced but beyond that I’m not picky.

I’m going to need you to expose them, let me photograph them and then put them away. I won’t handle them (unless you beg you dirty minx). The idea is to use them in a video feature I’m working on. You don’t have to show your face if you’re shy, and can be entirely anonymous. No one will see you topless but me (and the internet obviously).

Payment will come in the form of credit in the piece (and here at SugarBank via linkage), brief fame on the net and cocktails.

Interested? Email me (with a picture if you can) so we can arrange a time. The shoot will be in downtown LA, tomorrow on Tuesday 27th.

Thanks in advance. I look forward to seeing your nipples.

Popularity: 28% [?]

I

‘m not ashamed to say I rock tighty-whities – if you’re shipping a Henry Moore you strap it down in the truck – and these are possibly the greatest underwear ever made.

Normally I just look for something with the lifting capacity I require with a waistband which doesn’t suggest my self-esteem is linked directly to my underpants (it’s linked directly to what’s in them. I’m a man). That’s why this pair is so life-changing.

When you’re the kind of guy people assume has an elephant in their pants, it gets tiring having to turn your pockets inside out and open your fly in order to prove your point. These bad boys have the picture of an elephant on the front and, in case that’s not enough, real, waggable, ears.

They’re by Intimissi and God-damn are they comfortable. Wearable porn. It’s going to be a lucky night.

(NB: Some people think I shouldn’t be allowed to use money.)

Popularity: 28% [?]

I have a couple of small jobs for a talented designer (or two).

First, a project I’m working on needs a raft of emoticons/smileys. They need to be original, recognizable, hip, earth shatteringly beautiful and cheap.

Oh yeah, they need to look good 12px square too.

I’m guessing someone’s already knocked-out a bunch of the things they’d be willing to sell on. If not it’s an easy gig for a cartoonist or illustrator with computer skills (they need to be delivered at 12px and 128px sizes as .ai or .psd files to allow for scaling).

The other job is pure web design. Normally I don’t have much for designers to do but right now I need someone with mad CSS/HTML skills and a love of standards and browser compatibility (aroused yet?) The job will be fixing/amending layouts which will be fed into a database publishing system. Some work’s been done on the layouts but I think the finish and design can be improved. If you’re hung up on web 2.0 fromage (reflections, pink text, huge RSS logos etc) shoot yourself. Shoot yourself now. I’m serious.

Email me if you’re interested in either role. Let me know which gig you’re interested in and send me links to stuff. None of this work is adult related (I have a secret non-porn identity…)

Every time I do this I find genius ninja rock-stars. I’m excited.

Popularity: 28% [?]

When I started this blog I dreamed that by combining my unique experience across the entertainment industry, with a belief in unfettered sexuality and a love of hot bodies I could create a unique intersection of opinion and sex-positive entertainment.

So this morning I got an email from a woman who’s trying to replace her favorite dildo (pictured).

She writes:

“This is my “toy” and it is getting a bit worn. Don’t remember where I got it. There is a logo on the bottom that looks like a star with a string of lettering.”

Of course she came to the right place, my dildo knowledge is unmatched by any man outside West Hollywood. Finally, an opponent worthy of me. Watson, fetch my pipe.

Cross-checking this image with the ‘International Ass-Rammers’ database in Switzerland drew a blank, and spectral analysis of the photo reveals a plastic composition too widely used to track down any more specifically than – China. My atomic force microscope does offer some hope. At 100,000x magnification I see letters embedded in the center of the device which read “So dark the con of man.”

Any ideas?

I’m sure the sender of this email will grace me with an answer to the question “Where exactly do you stick that anyway” which I will share with you if we manage to replace it.

Popularity: 34% [?]

You can’t accuse me of pretending to be be an expert in areas I don’t know. Hand to hand combat and the orgasmic techniques of the ancient Mayans, yes. Thumbnail Gallery Posts… not so much.

This wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t own TGP.com. It’s a serious URL and a possession which puts me in a position where each week I have to email someone and say no, $25,000 isn’t an offer I’m interested in, even though it should be when the URL isn’t making me that much a year and should be making more each week. Despite never becoming expert in the field of ‘giving shit away’ I’ve had enough experience on most sides of the adult business to feel confident I could make the site a success. The problem’s the model.

At TGP’s people upload links to free photos which are shared with visitors after a little filtering. The money comes from ads and for a TGP owner the more creatively they can be rammed down a surfers gaping maw the better. Lucre which has lead to the proliferation of pop-overs, pop-unders, flash-floaters and the other annoying IN YOUR FACE techniques the jizz-bizz is famous for. It’s a very dirty, and highly profitable, business.

I’ve always been reluctant to fall into this trap, determined to run TGP without resorting to scumbag webmaster techniques. There are good guys in every part of the adult business, I’ve met them. I’ve made it my mission to be that guy in TGP because like female baldness, it can work beautifully even if it’s a little unusual.

So I’ve tried to run a traditional TGP with no scummy ads (result – tons of crappy traffic and no real profit), as a blog with few TGP elements (result – high quality traffic and absolutely no profit) and most recently as a web 2.0 style TGP/Digg hybrid (result – total confusion and almost no profit).

It’s frustrating because the site as it exists today should be a blockbuster. Content is uploaded directly by users and voted on by anyone who comes to the site. The best stuff makes the homepage and the spam gets deleted. It’s Digg meets fapp(ing), a genius and much copied idea (I copied it too so that’s okay), and about as popular among webmasters as leaving a World of Warcraft all-nighter to take a Pilates classs.

As a marketing guru it’s my job to know why things work and more importantly, why they don’t. In this case I’m lost. Sure the TGP design might be crappy and the technology imperfect but have you seen this? It’s ugly as sin and makes seven figures a month. Ugly is not a problem (or this? It’s ugly as sin and makes seven figures a month.)

So I’d like to hear from people who know about this TGP niche and want in on TGP.com. I’m going back to school (start your mental training montage). I wanna be a contender. Sure I’m older than normal but I still got some stuff in the basement. I’ve got too much on my plate to start from scratch so we’re going to have to make a splash, rely on some blunt force trauma. I wanna build some hurtin’ bombs.

Teach me, take my money, tell me what to do. Make me your bitch. It’ll give me something to blog about, and give you a share in TGP.com (a version of which is making the silly money it should be, not the beer money it is). Hell I’ll even through in marketing/PR advice and handjobs if it’ll help (to clarify that’s handjobs for women – women with… er… cocks. Guys, you just get oral).

Otherwise I’m going to shave off my hair and check into reTGPhab (that was bad, but the comedy union said I had to or they’d kick me out). Talk to me.

Popularity: 30% [?]

In the past day we’ve had a lot of unscheduled downtime (I love that phrase, it’s like ‘water landing’ – both just mean crash.) I wish I could tell you that the problem’s been solved and it won’t happen again but I can’t. Aside from the inexorable growth of the blog there’s nothing we can see which should be causing the server to fall over.

Regardless, we’re upgrading the hardware and there’ll be a change to the code soon which should make everything faster and less database heavy.

I hope this isn’t as sad and depressing to read as it is to write. It is? Okay, stopping…

Popularity: 27% [?]

Every time I ask for help from the people who read my blog I discover readers I can can do business with. In my experience to date they blow away the people I can find through traditional advertising and better yet they have a sense of who I am and laugh at (or ignore) my jokes.

You people are special (see photo).

This request is a little retarded. I spend a lot of time talking to people who set up merchant accounts, facilitating smarter banking for companies trying to waste less money (I’m like Edward Woodward in ‘The Equalizer’ but I work with banks; and I’m not fat and dead). Even though I have great banking contacts I’m not averse to having more and as I’m currently trying to set up a merchant account for a company I’m personally involved with I’d like to ensure I’ve left no stone unturned in my quest for a great deal.

The company in question is not adult in nature and expects to produce a significant volume of business in its first year. Current sales volume is zero (they’re pre-launch) but for a bank used to dealing with high-risk accounts this is a great chance to take on a client who produce a large volume of low-risk transactions.

If you’re someone I should be speaking to, please drop me a line.

Popularity: 28% [?]

I had a busy weekend. With Viagra available over-the-counter in the UK I spent a lot of time in bars spiking drinks and laughing. Normally I’d try to blog a bit too but, as reading numbers always drop significantly at the weekend and I’m fundamentally a lazy prick, I haven’t in recent weeks.

Is this the right call? I know there will always be fewer readers at weekends but do you guys appreciate weekend smut blogging or not? Hit me with your strongly held opinions now or just whine quietly and unsubscribe (I’d rather you chose the former).

I’m listening.

Popularity: 34% [?]

I’d like to take a look at Joost but don’t want to wait. Could someone with access send me an invite? It’d make my day. I’ll blog on it too and you know that’s gonna be entertaining…

Popularity: 68% [?]

We need a small team of experts for a project I’m working on. It’s not adult (I know – sad huh?) and there is equity on the table for the right people. A full-time commitment will be needed for at least 8-weeks, potentially leading to a more permanent position. Skills that pay the bills should be evident, though flashy resumes are less valuable than mad-skills and the right attitude.

The work involves implementing a web application that draws on a lot of current buzz-word friendly ideas in a novel way. We are trying to do something cool and if you’re the kind of person who’s always thinking of smarter, leaner ways to do things we’d like to hear from you. Yes it’s social, yes it’s video, no it’s not just another ‘rate this clip’ site.

We need at least one Flash developer with a good understanding of video (you should be able to do YouTube type stuff but, and I can’t overstress this, the job is not a YouTube clone) and we also need people capable of building a content management system. Finally a technically oriented designer/programmer who can generate standards compliant CSS/HTML as easily as breathing and who has a good grounding in AJAX will complete the gang (please note, designers who can’t produce data/user driven AJAX sites are lovely people but not right for this job – this isn’t about building pretty homepages).

Send cover letters and resumes to my email. Please let me know what you can do and provide links to examples of your work. Further detail will be provided on receipt of a signed non-disclosure agreement.

Applications from development teams are welcome, and please note this is an opportunity that’s being advertised in a number of other locations. Good luck.

Popularity: 67% [?]

It’s time to present the five most popular posts at SugarBank this year because tomorrow’s 2007 and these list posts are required by law.

Easy to write hung-over too.

Some of the ‘hits’ were controversial, others surprisingly well read despite few comments and most were pretty critical. Are you guys a bunch of cynics?

Looking back, they’re a pretty good introduction to SugarBank, and indicative of the sort of thing I intend to do more of. If you’ve missed anything, start here and thanks for reading.

SugarBank’s most popular posts 2006:

1. Good vs. Evil Porn
2. The Media vs. Pornography
3. 3 Porn Based Urban Legends
4. Vivid Go Condom Optional
5. 10 Lies Pornographers Tell

Popularity: 33% [?]

Some of you may have noticed that the latest trend in adult industry copying is copying Digg. The idea is that instead of posting lists of links to photo galleries as pioneered by the original Thumbnail Gallery Posts, visitors submit links to galleries themselves and then edit the submissions by voting on what they like most.

This is a shitty idea.

The jizz-bizz is know for ethics that’d make a politician blush and one of the biggest problems faced by all TGP’s is fraudulent links. Webmasters love to bait-and-switch, re-routing links in order to steer users to suit their ends. Pop-ups are another well known problem and to maintain the quality of their sites TGP owners spend hours screening links.

User submitted content will have to be screened by readers. While at Digg that’s an editorial process, for a porn site most of the editing will involve trawling through spam, pop-up graveyards and images that would make a butcher puke.

So we’ve tried to be a little smarter at TGP.

TGP – which now stands for ‘Team Gallery Post’ – takes the user submitted content idea and voting but skirts the problems that causes by hosting the content in a central location. That means you don’t have to worry about clicking links that take you to the wrong place and you don’t have to worry about pop-ups.

As a webmaster, model, exhibitionist, publisher or blogger exploiting TGP simply requires you to upload your photos and information. You don’t have to build webpages and you don’t need an affiliate program to promote your stuff (or yourself all you camera-phone exhibitionists). If your content’s popular you’ll win lots of votes and get promoted to our frontpage and RSS feed. The cover of Time is then just decades away. Use it for fun, business, or as a way of making money. Affiliate links are no problem and thus you can get paid cash for converting users sent directly from TGP’s pages.

The only thing TGP is missing right now is submissions. We’re in beta – which means some stuff is going to break, and we need a few brave and patient pioneers to use the site and break it some more. I don’t want to shout too loudly until we’ve had a few days to see what happens. Hence this personal invitation to try our new stuff out for yourself. Upload, vote, and comment away. There are only a few hundred thousand people watching. Interested?

TGP.com (beta)
Submit a gallery here

Popularity: 39% [?]

Last year I started a lot of projects, launched a number of blogs and made plans to launch a number of others. Many of those plans were public and to the careful observer of the Sugarverse this year might look like a failure as I repeatedly put things on hiatus, changed direction, and disappeared for weeks on end.

Here’s what happened and how it taught me to make lemonade.

My plan was to build a network of blogs, I knew blogs grew fastest when they had a lot of posts, and I was crushingly aware I didn’t have the time to write 40-50 posts a day. The answer seemed obvious. Gather a team of talented volunteers and trade shares of the profits for their time. As long as blogs with more posts have more readers, more readers mean more pageviews and more pageviews meant more revenue, a bet on a fast growing blog looked like a no brainer. I’d give up a little profit and gain a team of people I couldn’t afford to pay, united in a desire to succeed with blogs they had a stake in. Trading a few months work for a successful network was a great deal for all of us.

Did you see my mistake? I’ll give you a clue – I’m a glass half full kind of guy.

If you guessed ‘a few months work’ stop gloating and pour yourself a drink. Naively, I asked for three months to turn a profit and should have asked for 12. A wise man would have asked for 18 and an accountant a full 24. Without dollars advertising or Googlebatics you have to be prepared for the long haul when building a site. Every reader is a relationship and relationships take time. When I promised a quick return I assigned myself the increasingly difficult task of motivating people who felt mislead and let down.

Meanwhile the growth that wasn’t happening fast enough required two sets of server upgrades to manage and all my time for weeks on end. The result was a system which costs thousands to maintain and which made profit sharing even harder to achieve than the steady growth suggested.

Personally, without the blogging income I’d predicted I spent more of my time on planes having lame conversations with celebutards, international conglomerates and other people interested in my fecal veneering ability. Every time I spent less time on the network things got worse and I had to fill the gaps with other jobs.

Finally, forced to slim things to the bone after losing most of my volunteers, I put off some of my own plans (e.g. podcasting), crunched the website statistics through Excel and went to work. I had no time for niceties, and simply focused on what I could show to be effective. It wasn’t pretty but I was confident it was right.

A graph of the year is the best way to see what happened:

Going from a team of 20 to one of less than five we managed to begin a 60 day cycle of doubling traffic which continues to this day. The ’secret’ is simple enough to put into a handful of bullet points.

5 keys to rapid growth

• Predict the worst - When working anyone (including yourself) find the people who’d do it for free and then tell them they’ll probably never see a dime They’ll be thrilled when you succeed, work hard until you do, and give you time to make smart mistakes.
• Change your mind – Sticking to a plan which isn’t working is a bad way to run a war and a worse way to run a website. Being prepared to admit you were wrong is a big step towards being right.
• Spread yourself thick - There’s only so much time you can devote to any project and the more projects you have the worse job you’ll do overall. Putting things in storage is better than letting them rot in the open air. Don’t be afraid to step back and regroup.
• Be patient - YouTube happened fast, as long as you discount its founders university education and prior careers at PayPal. Steady growth isn’t anything to be ashamed of and leads to all the same places. Let things progress organically and if you can’t accelerate them, enjoy the ride – you’re moving in the right direction.
• Watch your data – There are many ways to look at numbers but most people don’t get far beyond bar graphs. If you don’t look at your data in the right way you’ll miss what you should be seeing and any opportunity to learn from it. If there’s ‘nothing to see’, turn everything round and look again. Graphs with logarithmic scales are useful. Clusters on point graphs mean something. If you’re not sure where to turn you probably don’t need better data, just better ways of looking at it.

If I said I’d have predicted the last 6-8 months I’d be lying and if I said I had no regrets I’d be stupid. That said, it’s been the most interesting, most productive and most exciting year of my life. Sometimes ‘experience’ means taking your lumps and learning where you went wrong. I’m pretty experienced and learning from me is less painful than making my mistakes again. Good luck.

Popularity: 37% [?]

Just over a year ago I published the first informal porn-site cross post, then titled the bloggasm, at this very blog. Since then following a name-change, an unscheduled hiatus, a handover to a pair of glamorous and capable assistants, and another forty-nine posts we’ve now reached Sugasm #50 which will publish this week.

Things have grown from a start with just six links to over 60 in #50. The blog now has a few hundred subscribers and getting featured as an ‘Editor’s Choice’ can provide the kind of attention normally reserved for Lindsey Lohan’s genitals on a gossip blog.

Well done us.

Popularity: 59% [?]

This isn’t the post I intended to write. I’d planned a detailed interview on capital and porn which would explain why business’s which deal with explicit sexuality are more likely to get funding from the Taliban than banks, financiers and other traditional lending institutions. I wanted to find out what the barriers are to adult business, how they might be overcome and which things are guaranteed to make an adult business seem untouchable.

My interest was born of experience. I know adult companies which have eight-figure sums of cash in the bank and aren’t allowed to provide their executives with corporate VISA cards as they’re considered to be ‘high risk’. Porn companies invariably have to grow without the benefit of external investment. Given most of them operate entirely legally, and that venture capitalists aren’t known for operating within a nuanced ethical framework, logic suggests the reason porn is so bad and getting funding is due to a misunderstanding of the rules which govern finance. I wanted to talk to an expert about those rules and see if we could provide some advice for people interested in doing it right.

It would have been great.

Looking for an expert opinion I contacted Fred Wilson, a venture capitalist who’s better known in blogging circles than he is in the world of finance (which is not an insult, but is the sign of a successful blog). Over the course of a few emails it became clear I wasn’t going to have the conversation I’d been hoping to and I gave up on getting detailed responses. Looking back on those emails today though, I see they provide a perfect example of the difficulty faced by the adult industry when attempting to mix in polite society. If you run an open-cast mine, sell advertising into school textbooks or design land-mines you can hold your head high at any table in America. Show people boobies? I think I’m feeling a little sick. I mean how can you live with the harm you cause?

Our conversation says more about ‘mainstream’ attitudes to porn than anything I could extrapolate. The mixture of revulsion and aggression in his answers to my, really pretty damn polite, questions mirrors many conversations I’ve had with people and companies who only have a problem with the commercial exploitation of sexuality if it’s done honestly. I offer our exchange here as an object lesson.

Sam to Fred:

Fred,

I’m a reader of yours with a blog about 10% as popular as yours on a good day. I’d like to ask you a few questions for a VC related post on mine.

My blog concerns the adult industry and you don’t need to be a fan, or even approve, to provide great answers. I’d like to get a sense for why VC firms avoid legitimate adult content, how that may change and what your own advice is regarding adult business’ seeking investment.

Is this doable?

Cheers,

Sam.

Fred to Sam:

It just has a taint that they’d rather not deal with

fred

Sam to Fred:

Thanks Fred – pretty pithy. Care to talk about why that is? I’m sure many VC’s have dealt with Playboy stock, why then would someone trying to emulate that company not be treated the same way?

It seems that there’s a degree of confusion. What would you say the limits are? How sexy do you have to be before VC’s close the door?

American Apparel have very sexy ads (featuring porn stars) and MTV specializes in teenage girls behaving sexually. I don’t mean to sound accusing, I’m simply trying to get a grasp of where the lines lie.

Sam.

Fred to Sam:

You know the old saying “I can’t define pornography, but I know it when I see it”

That’s how the VCs behave

fred

Sam to Fred:

I’m very familiar. Regarding legality though, I’m surprised that no VC’s have seen the potential and thought “This is perfectly legal, ethically sound in my book and a huge opportunity”. Do you think that if a single VC firm was bold enough to back a defendable adult business they’d start a flood? Could the hesitancy be due to fears regarding the difficulty of selling an adult company – however successful?

Many of the big online companies make a fortune from porn and receive funding but are careful about not being “only” porn. GUBA’s just done a deal with Time Warner and they make a fortune selling access to porn newsgroups. Would you say the smart way to pitch an adult company is as general interest with adult entertainment potential (like Yahoo! Groups for instance) and stealthily sneak in the back door?

Sam.

Fred to Sam:

You may be right but I wont do it.

Just isn’t my thing

fred

Sam to Fred:

Got it. Do you have any thoughts on why other VC’s aren’t doing it? Universal conservative morality? Fear of reprisal?

Sam.

Fred to Sam:

Its the taint I mentioned

I could give a fuck about morality

But I don’t want to be associated with porn

Fred

Sam to Fred:

I appreciate the honesty.

I’m sorry if you feel ‘tainted’ by this exchange. If you knew about the other work I did I’m sure you’d be surprised. I’m not a bad guy and I love your blog. Exploitation disgusts me too.

Cheers,

Sam.

Fred to Sam:

I don’t feel tainted by the exchange.

I was just trying to explain the situation to you in the most colorful way I could.

fred

Sam to Fred:

Glad to hear it. It’s really useful feedback too.

Cheers,

Sam.

NB: Fred’s blog is well worth reading if you’re interested in the business of money (or AOR – as the above suggests he’s not very ‘Rock-n-Roll’)

Popularity: 33% [?]

If you find yourself investing in a ‘Precious Moments’ figurine, perhaps after a lottery win that stops you from recognizing the value of money or a serious head injury, be warned that ‘Dr. Sam Sugar’ has nothing to do with me.

I am not a doctor.

In case you’re wondering – about $5 on eBay.

Popularity: 38% [?]

‘Thanks for the add!’, often misspelled ‘Thanks for the ad’ (which ironically, is actually more true), a piece of language vomited into the lexicon by MySpace so vile Rupert Murdoch had to own it. Even typing it makes me a little queasy but, if you like this blog, here’s something you can do which will be more greatly appreciated that an email of congratulation and, though less appreciated than a cocktail, is almost as agreeable as alcohol.

Add SugarBank to your Technorati favorites

If you don’t use Technorati – and it’s free so try it – check it out and then add me to your favorites. I’ll be forever in your debt. Thanks for the ad.

PS. During development MySpace was called ‘AnonoFuckr’. True story.

Popularity: 34% [?]

This is the week’s first post thanks to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

I’m in Namibia, at an 11-room beach lodge called ‘The Burning Shore’ whose only claim to fame is that Brangelina booked it for 3 months this summer so they could have a baby.

Accommodating the celebs meant the hotel had to make a number of changes. One was letting go of almost all their staff (I guess they brought their own.) The other was that they removed the wi-fi.

From what I gather in speaking to management, the hotel was wired according to Brangelina’s needs and, when they left, they took their hardware with them leaving me unplugged in the desert (“Unplugged in the Dessert” – that’s a movie, who’s in?).

As Namibia (specifically Wallis Bay/Swakopmund which is the bit I’m in) is not the highest-tech place, blogging service might not be entirely consistent for another few days. Sorry, I’m working on it. Till I can persuade management of my dire need to surf porn I’ll be chewing billtong and walking on the beach (holding hands with myself).

More interestingly, being a very small hotel (sorry ‘Beach Lodge’) it’s possible to find a evidence of previous guests if you dig deep enough. I found a couple of slips of paper behind a trash can (you have to find some way to amuse yourself when there’s no web and you’re fifteen clicks from town) which might be evidence of the thoughts behind Angie and Brads decision to name their offspring Shiloh Nouvel…

It took me a while to decipher those notes so for those with less time:

Baby Names
(must be African sounding!)

Girls:
Shiloh (Namibian – beautiful, simple, I love it.)

Boys:
Tsepo (Xhosa – S.African)
Olajide (Yourba – Nigerian)

Thoughts B?

Back soon, quick-meeting with Namibian UNICEF rep.

Which, assuming it was penned by Angelina, puts the following in the hands of Brad Pitt. While Jolie’s ideas show an understanding of, and love for, African culture Pitt seems less… polished? Here’s my best guess at the text:

COOL!

Girls:
Kellis
Oprah (fat clever )
Hally (2 pale?)

Boys:
Samuel L.
Shaft
Blackula

Love you Angee. Gone dirt sand biking.

PS. Madoks helped me wrote this

Popularity: 35% [?]

A few people have spotted this interview with AVN Online so I guess I should go public and let it be known that yes, I am the shit and here’s proof.

Alternatively I might actually be an insufferable egomaniac and a bit of a dick. The debate rages on…

Popularity: 35% [?]

Regular readers, Europol and those who stalk me, are aware that I travel a lot. This year I’ve been in Latvia, England, Sweden, New Zealand, America and South Africa thus far and that’s not to mention traveling within those countries (or next week’s trip to Namibia).

I love working it, but am finding the constant movement difficult to reconcile with living like a grown-up. It’s odd to own a car in California I can never drive and weirder still to find yourself saying “Those shoes are either in Latvia or London.” It’d be nice to have somewhere to call home again and have a toaster to call my own.

Unfortunately my current consulting work requires I stay mobile so I’m therefore in the market for a job (or enough ‘fixed-base’ consulting work to fill my day.) I’m still love to travel, I just don’t want to be away for weeks at a time without respite. I’m not too concerned about the location and tele-commuting’s fine. All I ask is that I’m challenged, and valued for my ability to suggest things which have one third of the room laughing, one third edging away and the other third wondering why they hadn’t thought of that yet.

My experience is pretty varied. I’ve worked in Marketing, PR, Sales, Advertising/Copywriting and Publishing. If I was to pick an area in which I’m most expert I’d say web marketing, closely followed by advertising. If I were to specify where I’ve had most post graduation training I’d say sales, and if I was to say where I’d had the most high-profile successes I’d say PR. I’m essentially a multi-tool (though some people who know me well drop the ‘multi’). Though I can manage a team to implement a plan, my real value is thinking ahead of the competition and generating novel ways of getting things done. Environments which don’t appreciate innovation are the only ones I’ve ever been unable to feel comfortable in.

Contrary to the evidence of this blog, I’ve spent the majority of my professional life in the mainstream so anyone worried about me being house-trained needn’t fret. I can keep my trousers on for a whole meeting (only if I concentrate) and the companies I work with currently recognize the usefulness of someone with a foot in many camps, there’s a lot which can be learned on all sides. Besides, my Dad would prefer it.

If you know of something that might fit my skills, please send me an email. As long as I can spend at least six months a year in one city – I’m interested. Thanks in advance.

PS. Don’t worry about the blogs, they’re not going anywhere.

Popularity: 40% [?]

Like nude ladies? Can u spoll and. Punctuate? TGP.com is looking for people who have a little free time and the ability to wittily summarize anything in three sentences.

If you’re think you’re qualified, send me two sample posts by the end of the week, one a link to JustineJoli.com, the second a slightly longer post titled “My favorite piece of porn” (300 words max).

Thanks in advance, good luck and when I say the end of the week, I mean Friday.

Popularity: 41% [?]

This weekend’s lack of posts? Thank South African Airlines who lost my bag and thus made getting online impossible. Bastards. You’d think with all the traveling I do (and all the disasters I’ve had) there’d be no new ways to screw up but no – like Scott of the Antarctic I continue to explore the region where bad luck meets limited foresight.

Moral: Even if you don’t plan to use your computer in-flight and always carry your notebook accessories as hand-baggage because notebooks without battery chargers are just heavy.

Popularity: 40% [?]

Until very recently I was scrupulous in ensuring everything at SugarBank was ‘Safe for Work’ which, based on contemporary US standards, meant nipples and muff were nowhere to be seen. The language on this blog has always been salty because as it’s impossible to discuss porn without using the word, anyone flagging my pages for language would do so even without the suck/shit/bollock/wank which I find so fun to type.

Unfortunately each time a post of mine was picked up elsewhere, it invariably came with a ‘NSFW’ appellation. That’s ‘The Exorcist Effect’ in action, people the blog read was ruder than it was because of it’s feel – not it’s actual content (the same thing happens in movie all the time, good directors make audiences think they’ve seen all kinds of things they haven’t.) Frustrated at the lack of recognition for my care in choosing images, I recently thought ‘what the hell’ and let a few nipples slip. I thought the additional sex-appeal might make browsing SugarBank a little more fun and damnit, nipples are wonderful things.

Today I received my first feedback. A note from a long-term reader who explained that a NSFW SugarBank was a blog he was going to read less often.

So what do you think? How tame should I make the pages and or feed in your opinion and why? Am I being too cautious, or have you stopped reading recently as the nip count has crept into double digits? If the images in the feed stay nudity free is that a reasonable compromise? Let me know, I never deliberately try to turn anyone off (read into that as you will).

Popularity: 57% [?]

I’ve done it again.

SugarBank now has a revised look (number six if I remember correctly) and once again it’s designed as an improvement on what’s come before.

As I’ve learned, some of you will have now discovered that the only thing worse than the last design is the new design. There are some really angry people out there. I hope you like it. If not, I’ll look out for your email.

There may be bugs. I’ll fix them as fast as I can. (If it looks really weird blame your browser. Though this does read in IE 6 it’s not perfect and Firefox, Netscape and everything else is better. If it’s not your browser it’s me but I’ll still blame your browser.)

Popularity: 57% [?]

This is a great domain (okay, it’s fantastic. I’ll admit it) I was given as part of a complex deal. As I have more than enough to deal with in other areas, with no further ado…:

Ssex.com Is For Sale
London, UK, June 1 2006 – Today Sam Sugar announced the sale of Ssex.com.

Following the recent headline-grabbing sale of Sex.com, the most expensive domain name ever sold, Sugar is sure ssex.com will set records in the ‘typo’ domain-name space.

“Every 2 and 3 letter domain has long been registered and the number of four-letter domains containing real words is extremely small. Sex.com sold for $14m and sex.net, which misses the all-important dotcom designation, $14,000. On the internet hotcakes don’t sell nearly as fast as hot-sex does,” said Sugar, “Ssex.com is easy to say and sell, and will pull traffic better than anything under $14M. In a world of ‘backronyms’ and odd letter sequences its simplicity is a huge advantage to anyone serious about their business.”

Sugar believes the domain will attract a storm of interest from companies eager to include the world’s most popular keyword in a URL that, unlike sex.com itself, is not a common word and can be easily trademarked and protected.

“Every day hundreds of thousands of one-handed typists accidentally write ssex as their lubed fingers slip from one key to another,” said Sugar, “They deserve a high-quality destination and now ssex.com give someone a chance to provide it.”

Interested parties should contact sam.sugar@gmail.com with offers.

About Sam Sugar:
Sam Sugar has worked in publishing, advertising, film, television and the adult industry. He runs a network of blogs including Podnography (http://podnography.com), SugarPit (http://sugarpit.com), SugarJoy (http://sugarjoy.com), Sugasm (http://sugasm.com) and TGP (http://tgp.com). He blogs at SugarBank (http://sugarbank.com).

###

Popularity: 60% [?]

Most of the ideas I’ve had (or seen elsewhere) for marking a blogging anniversary are dressed-up excuses at self-congratulation. Great for the ego, useless for the reader. I’d like is to make the second year of SugarBank better than the first so it seems smartest to mark today with a question.

What would you like to see here over the next year?

Leaving things there would strike a few of you as cheating, so I’ve also compiled a list of the posts readers seem to have most clearly enjoyed, been infuriated by or felt moved to debate each month.

May 2005
How to Make Money Podcasting if You’re Not Adam Curry

June 2005
A Woman’s Guide To Getting Into the Porn Industry

July 2005
Boils, Blindness and other Blarney – 9 Anti-Porn Myths Debunked

August 2005
The DVD Market is Dead (pt. 2)

September 2005
A Silly Idea?

October 2005
The Death of SuicideGirls

November 2005
European vs. American Attitudes to Sex

December 2005
The Lady Game

January 2006
How to Look Like a Porn Star

February 2006
Are You as Tall as Your Penis?

March 2006
10 Lies Pornographers Tell

April 2006
3 Porn Based Urban Legends

Thanks for reading. You rock.

(N.B. Feel free to leave alternative ideas for ‘Best of’ SugarBank content in the comments – I’m sure some of you have other ideas.)

Popularity: 34% [?]

I’m putting together a sex-blog ‘power’ list, reflecting the blogs people are reading to get their sex and porn information because no one’s done that before and it might be interesting. By asking you to comment this can be about more than links or votes. There are plenty of good blogs that don’t make the front page of Google or Technorati.

To have your say, tell me which three sex-related blogs you read most often either by leaving a comment here or, if you’d rather be less public, by sending me an email. Votes for SugarBank won’t be counted – this is a self-selecting sample and my ego’s big enough already. If you nominate yourself well, that’s your own issue and I wish you luck with it.

There’s no need to be obscure, if you read a blog every day but don’t think it’s worth mentioning please do. I’d like to know who people are reading and perhaps draw some attention to blogs people are missing out on.

If you want to comment on why your like the blogs you do, please include that too. I’ll publish the results if and when I have a decent enough sample. If Mori can predict an election by talking to 2000 people, I think we should be able to do something useful with a couple of hundred votes.

Go!

Popularity: 40% [?]

Apologies to anyone who signed up to swap links with me using BLT in the past few months who’s noticed that links haven’t been appearing here since the last redesign. Something seems to have broken the code and I’ve had no joy contacting the brains who’ve built it for answers. I predict this post will prompt an email from someone and lead me to a fix, you to massive prosperity and perhaps all of us to a cheesy medal-giving ceremony like the one at the end of Star Wars. Until then enjoy the majesty of this Ugandan Warthog which, like BLT when it’s working properly, is bacon you shouldn’t mess with.

Popularity: 40% [?]

Happy Birthday to me,

Happy Birth-day to me-e,

Happy Birthday to-o meeee!

Only losers (who aren’t jetlagged and looking at the mountains agape) blog on their birthday. I’m in New Zealand by Lake Wanaka in an environment so beautiful it makes everything seem trivial. The clouds cling to the mountains, the mountains border a lake over 300 metres deep and the peaks stand sharp against the sky and are crested with snow. This is ‘Lord of the Rings’ and ‘King Kong’ country. Breathtaking.

See you on the flipside.

Popularity: 33% [?]

Those of you who’ve wisely made this blog the cornerstone of your existence might have noticed a distinct paucity of posts over the last couple of days, while those of who visit the blog (as opposed to scanning the RSS) will have additionally noted that the site’s been down more than it’s been up.

Sorry.

As the SugarBlogs grow the ability of our server to deliver the volume of pages requested has not kept up. We’ve been aware of a need to upgrade for a while but thought we’d be able to make it to a graceful transition. That proved not to be true. The server was crashing under load, rebooting and then crashing again under the same deluge as before. About once every five minutes.

Ironically there’s a shiny new server, with more than double the capacity we currently have, paid-for and waiting to carry the load. It’s going to be our second server move in 90 days, marking a rate of growth too optimistic for me to contemplate, so I’m not sure we can blame poor planning. It wasn’t supposed to grow this fast.

As all this was happening I was preparing to take a trip and – in a fit of unfiltered brilliance – had decided not to look at my email on Thursday allowing me time to do other things (responding to email consumes about 80% of my waking life). That meant that vital technical emails, routed through me, weren’t getting to the people who could make sense of them.

Sorry.

When I saw the problem, which at that point had no workable solution, I decided to lighten the load by not attempting to post to SugarBank, allowing the other blogs as much access to the server as possible.

Now, thanks to some brilliant hacking by the people who handle the hardware, we’ve been able to manage the load better and, though the sites are slower than we’d like, they’re accessible and I’m free to post again.

We should all live happily ever after.

The move to the newest, phatest, server has been moved to ‘NOW DAMNIT!’ priority and will leave us faster and more stable than we’ve ever been before. We’ll be predicting the unpredictable as best we can from here on out.
In the interim thanks for being kind to our mistakes.

Popularity: 33% [?]

Some of you will be laughing at this point. Another week another damn redesign. I’ll explain. The last design for this blog had a few bugs in it I was in the process of fixing and while that was being done I started noticing areas of potential improvement. Then a couple of people started asking to run ads I couldn’t accommodate and so it began.

As I spend so much time getting under the skin of these things I’ve decided to start giving them women’s names. That way when people asked my why I haven’t slept in three days I can tell them I was up with Jodie and maintain a little more credibility than I would explaining the funny stuff that happens in the Wordpress support forums (Alpha26Ohio – no, you’re the man!)

I get paid to design ads, websites and content for other people but seldom get to use those skills for my own benefit. To save you my grossly inflated hourly rate I’ll tell you about what I’ve done here so you can avoid paying someone like me to tell you this stuff over a lunch you’ll pay for (besides if you’re going to give anyone money it should really be me). As always I’ll discover that I’ve made mistakes, learn from them and make changes. There are no absolutes to site design but there is plenty of evidence for things that don’t seem to work well. Here’s a slice of what I’ve applied.

Graphics
Excluding images and ads this is another pure HTML/CSS design. There’s nothing wrong with graphics but you have to be cleverer than I am with code to make them degrade gracefully and load fast. I’m a fan of simple. Color and shape is all I need to achieve my ends.

Rounded Corners
Never!

Center Column
The most obvious change here is the third column in the center of the page. It could be used for anything but at SugarBank it’s being used for ads – money’s useful. Making the ads large means I have to care about the quality of the products and the art used to promote it. Just as in a magazine, placing large ‘display’ ads is a semi-editorial decision and means that the temptation to overwhelm readers with any-old-crap-that-pays is negated. Putting a thousand text links into every free space can be done with far less thought (go Google!)

Of course, large ads also work better. All advertising begins with an interruption. You accost someone attending to something their interested in (in this case a blog) and tell them about something you hope will capture their attention. Apologetic, easy to overlook, advertising is pointless.

Type
Huge isn’t it.

Designers since the dawn of time have been in love with small type. The smaller it is, the more it tends to look like a gray box on the page instead of discreet, messy, readable squiggles. When type is small enough to look like a patterned box the shape of its container, designers can use it in a number clever unreadable ways.

Often this is very pretty.

The irony is that many people will tell you they hate large type though, when you test comprehension, everyone finds large type easier to read. So here the type is large and very easy to read because even if you don’t think it’s pretty, I know you’ll understand what you’re reading.

There’s another argument to be made about how type’s actually got smaller as we’ve all stopped using low res 14″ monitors. As monitor sizes have increased a little, resolution’s increased a lot. When 12 pixel type was chosen as easy to read it looked a lot more like 14-16 pixel type does today. Designers have been exploiting its relative shrinkage ever since.

Color
One problem with designing for computers is that their screens are literally lamps. On paper text is easiest to read when the contrast between letter and page is high, so black on white is perfect. In the real world even ‘white’ paper isn’t nearly as bright as a computer screen (unless you’re outside on a bright day when reflected sunlight can make paper so brilliant reading’s impossible). Large areas of pure white on a computer display with black text against it are fatiguing.

Given that I want people to read this blog I’ve made the backing light grey to maintain contrast and decrease the ’staring-at-the-sun’ effect.

Gravity
In the West we’re trained to look at pages left to right, top to bottom. We hate going bottom-to-top or right-to-left (we only do that when our eyes flick back to the start of a new line). That’s why the most important stuff’s on the left, the stuff you have to look for is on the right (I know you’ll look for it if you need it) and the stuff I want you to look at is wedged inbetween.

Width
The layout’s a lot wider than before thanks to the extra column but still not elastic. I believe it’s better to maintain the readability of short line lengths than allow people to create a layout that fills their monitor but doesn’t communicate well. This is a huge, ongoing debate in usability circles and I may well change my mind.

Technology’s also a factor. Internet Explorer is the browser of choice for most people but has the least advanced rendering technology. Until it improves, making complicated designs that work well will remain a black art I’ve yet to master.

Size and proportion
The column widths are, give or take a pixel or two, sized according to the golden ratio. I.e. each is 1.6 times larger than the column to its right. This combination of dimensions is said to look pretty foxy.

The main blog column is 470 pixels wide – just small enough to fit within the screen of a PSP or advanced phone. It’s my bet that as time passes increasing numbers of browsers will be using PSP or iPod size devices. I want them to find reading the blog easy.

They’re the key points. Even if you don’t like the new look I hope they help you understand it. Finding examples of successful sites which ignore basic principles is amazingly easy. Most designers have little training in information architecture or experience in usability testing and usually ‘prettiest wins’ even if it doesn’t work very well.

If you don’t like it you know where you can stick your opinion let me know and I’ll either slap my forehead and change something or explain the why of what I’ve done. (NB: You can see this layout doing sexy-stuff with sexy pictures here)

Popularity: 39% [?]

A combination of natural athleticism, good diet and three years work as a tactical operative for Mossad mean I hardly ever get sick, but for the last 48 hours I’ve felt pretty rough.

It’s just a sore throat but when I cough blood comes out. Combined with the God-splitters that pretend to be headaches and an inability to talk without tasting copper I’ve been a bit slow over the last couple of days.

I’ve tried a couple of things (see illustration) but nothing’s worked thus far. There’s nothing you can do of course. I just want sympathy and a little extra time to answer email. Thanks in advance.

(Blogging his own illness – could that be the greater ill?)

Popularity: 38% [?]

You might be thinking ‘Does SugarBank look different today?’ or ‘Does having herpes make Paris Hilton less attractive or is a sexually transmitted virus actually the most interesting thing about her?’ The answer is yes. I am in the middle of a record attempt for ‘Most re-designs within any one twelve month period’ and this is SugarBank 4.0. What the hell am I doing?

I’m learning.

Part of what makes talking to me valuable (aside from the bottomless wisdom and welcoming charm) is that I obsess over how things work and how they might be improved. I like to think that if this blog was a car it would be a Porsche 911 circa 1966 – already great but still ready to undergo 40 years of continual improvement. On the other hand it might just have been commissioned by a Nazi and have a reputation for killing Dentists.

This rev’ includes the addition of globally recognized avatars, gravatars – the little pictures you see beside people’s comments, improved searching and most importantly an easier to read layout. It’s less brutally functional than 3.0 but less visually cluttered to look at. I hope you like it. If you don’t… would you like a cookie?

I always get questions after making changes so here are some answers:

• There are no rounded-corners because they’re a cliché. You can date most technological things because as soon as something can be done, it’s overdone. See any music video, translucent iMac or action movie for proof. I don’t need rounded corners. WHY DON’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE. I WISH YOU WEREN’T MY PARENTS. I HATE YOU!
• Yeah I know Impact’s verboten in fontography circles. That’s how I roll.
• The text’s actually dark grey.
• Most famous? About a year ago and let’s just say she was in the best movie of 2004, the worst of 2005 and made her debut when she was still jail-pedo-bait. We’re friends now.
• It’s my tagline – I do what I like with it.
• Yes Podnography’s coming back.
• By hit and miss I have developed a method where I can precipitate a soluble tartrate from morphine granules in the form of kaolin morphine purchased at sundry pharmicists.
• Yes PSP Porn will be updated again soon.
• It’s a hard question but I’d have to say ‘Snakes on a Plane’ – I’m really looking forward to that movie.

(SugarPit and SugarJoy have also changed today – check them out they’re… full of stars!)

Popularity: 35% [?]

Download the SexNotWork Press Release (56KB .pdf)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

World’s First Sex-Blog Network, SexNotWork, Announces 24hr Membership Application Window Starting February 20th

Los Angeles, CA (PRWEB), February 16 2006 — Today Sam Sugar announced that on Monday 20th February 2006, SexNotWork – the world’s first sex-blog network – will begin accepting membership applications from blogs, podcasts, and other RSS enabled sites with a sexual theme for a period of 24hrs. SexNotWork is a collaboration between Sugar, whose background is in mainstream magazine publishing and the adult industry – which he blogs at SugarBank, and Paul Scrivens, whose Whitespace blog propelled him onto the ‘A-list’, and is founder of the world’s largest blog network 9rules.

“SexNotWork is going to bring back all the fun, sophistication and quality to on-screen sex that Paris Hilton has drained out of it,” said Sugar. “We’re looking for bloggers who understand that networks are the best way to organically build links and traffic. Limiting the application window is a move that’s worked well in the past and will reward people who are as excited about SexNotWork as we are.”

SexNotWork will offer bloggers exposure and community, and enable advertisers to reach hundreds-of-thousands of readers, over many blogs, from a single point.

“Sex sells,” said Scrivens. “SexNotWork is going to connect smart, educated, sexy people with smart, educated, sexy blogs. We know that people interested in cars, politics and gossip, also like to read about sex. SexNotWork is the first network to make sexuality its central theme, and the first to assume sex curious people are as likely to read the New Yorker as the New York Post.”

SexNotWork will be in place by the end of February; Sugar and Scrivens are confident it will take its place among the top tier of blog networks.

“SexNotWork is capable of attracting more daily readers than any other blog network,” said Sugar. “Sexuality is an eternal part of human nature – why else are so many people in cave-paintings naked? Sex is our most fundamental drive, and unless it suddenly goes out of fashion, SexNotWork is guaranteed a sizeable audience. We want to change perceptions, promoting blogs which demonstrate that sexy needn’t mean stupid, erotic needn’t mean explicit and graphic needn’t mean gross.”

About SexNotWork: SexNotWork (http://sexnotwork.com) is the world’s first sex-blog network and is due to launch in late February 2006.

About Sam Sugar: Sam Sugar has worked in publishing, advertising, film, television and the adult industry. He’s a co-founder of SexNotWork and blogs at SugarBank (http://sugarbank.com).

About Paul Scrivens: Paul Scrivens is an A-List blogger and founder of the world’s largest blog network, 9rules (http://9rules.com). He’s a co-founder of SexNotWork and blogs at Whitespace (http://9rules.com/whitespace/).

Contact: Sam Sugar via sam.sugar@gmail.com

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Popularity: 34% [?]

Anyone as confused as I was regarding the kerfuffle over the recent ‘Network Wars‘ should read this sad, funny and nicely investigative piece of blogger journalism. Tons of stuff I didn’t know – and tasty comments too. (Link)

Popularity: 31% [?]

Apparently I’m at war. It must be like the war in Iraq because, even though I’m reading about it, it doesn’t actually feel as if anything’s changed.

As far as I’m aware my first attack (I think I’m America in this and they’re Iraq) was posting this blog network invite. I seem to have hurt someone’s feelings (I think I’ve virtually bombed his Mosque) and am being chewed out in public (which is a bit like him going on Aljazeera and showing footage of me driving tanks into houses).

My next crime was publishing his Google email address (taking female prisoners?) and this has apparently resulted in a deluge of spam and hate-mail. I’m not sure who’s sending the spam, I publish my email address all over this blog and Gmail catches 100% of my spam 99.9% of the time – which is why I use it. I don’t know who sends hate-mail (it’s so Southern Baptist/PETA) but I doubt anyone reading this blog cares enough to take the time to do something so ineffective. Besides, how can you write hate-mail about a job offer?

My final crime (the Abu Ghraib of this network war – I’m Private English) was to remove the email addresses too slowly in response to requests from the author. I’ll admit it took a few emails, but that was because:

1. I didn’t realize the guy emailing me wanted me to remove every email on the page, so I started with one. He then emailed me from more than one address and I got really confused about who was asking for what.
2. I didn’t think that any harm could come to a network head by having their email address on display. I still don’t.
3. I wanted to signify the email (which I received from multiple sources in a couple of hours) was genuine.

Despite all that I did exactly what I was asked to (for a stranger) because I’m nice clearly a total bastard.

So I’ve now learnt I am an aggressor, with violently expansionist policies, who must be stopped from raping the bloggosphere. You know what’s fucking scary? I didn’t even know I was doing it.

Anyway – I’ve decided to declare peace in this war (which I didn’t know I was in), sign a treaty and rebuild everything to really high standards. No-bid contracts will not be awarded, and I aim to be out of the occupied territory in about a week. Israel is secure, Palestine is free, and in Ireland, U2 are over at Ian Paisley’s house just kicking it. That was easier than I thought overall.

Happy Sunday Cowboy – war is over.

PS. If anyone else wants to involve me in a ‘war’ then please let me know in advance so I can buy bullets and wake up my ninjas.
PPS. I won’t to go to ‘war’ over blog networks because having more good ones is good for everyone, and because it’s freakishly, terribly, lame.

Popularity: 40% [?]

The world’s first sex-blog network, which I’m building in conjunction with the team behind 9rules.com, will launch next month. It’s being built with readers – not advertisers – in mind, because everyone involved understands that a happy reader is more likely to buy something we recommend than an unhappy reader who’s wondering why the webpage they’re looking at seems to be made entirely of ads.

To help boost the network, and as an end in itself, I’m launching a number of new blogs over the next twelve months that I need writers for. The SugarBlogs (see what I did there?) are all aimed at existing niches in the marketplace, which can be profitably filled with a well-written blog.

Profit is not a dirty word (fuck is a dirty word, cunt – positively filthy). Unlike SugarBank, which was built to start conversations and make contacts, these new blogs have been designed to create content for readers. As these blogs will all be concerned with aspects of the commercial sex industry, the path from their content to advertisers is direct. It’s not only clever (which is fair to say because it’s not my idea), but it’s well proven in the adult space.

E.g. At Internext I spoke with an old friend who started a website based on exactly these principles eighteen months ago and is now making over $6M a year in advertising. It’s a free-site, which doesn’t take subscriptions, and doesn’t offer any access to photos or video – and it’s already making about ten times more per year than Boing Boing.

Isn’t porn wonderful?

In order to get these blogs off the ground I need writers, and before the network launches, I intend to start publishing the first three. Read through the following and if you’re (still) interested in being part of this project, writing for a networked sex-blog, let me know.

What are these three blogs going to be about?
The blogs I’m staffing now will cover three areas – adult websites, adult films and magazines. They’ll all be review-based.

How many people will work on each blog?
I’m looking for teams of four. That’s three writers and an editor (who has additional responsibility in return for additional pay).

Why so many people?
Payment will be based on a percentage of profit. That means no-one gets paid until we’re making money, and wise people would be cautioned to assume at least a 90 day investment of their time before expecting to see any significant return.

I won’t wait to re-coup my investment before sharing the wealth, but will pay myself back over time (I’d rather have happy paid writers, than pay myself back fast).

Using team means that no one has to kill themself in order for the blogs to thrive. It also means that readers get to experience a range of styles and working in teams is just more fun.

How much will I have to write?
Each writer will be expected to make at least two posts a week. Editors will be able to work with their team to exceed that, and I’d hope the real numbers were higher in almost every case. The faster blogs grow, the more readers they attract.

Each post will run 100-400 words, but there will be 1-2 hours work involved in researching and formatting each review.

How much do I get paid?
Blog editors will get paid more than blog writers in return for handling more responsibility and doing more work. Given a team of four, each writer will see 4% of net profit and each editor 8%.

4%!
That should be at least $200 a post when the blogs are making money.

This deal reflects the potential of these blogs based on their model. If the model were different, the deal would be different and might sound more attractive, but it would also change these blogs into the ‘just-scraping-by’ blogs, which the world has enough of and everyone else is building. Sharing large percentages of revenue doesn’t mean anything if no money’s being made. The question isn’t how big each slice of the pie is; it’s how big is the pie?

It’s far easier to understand if you look at the numbers. Let’s see how much you’d get paid for making 20 posts a month in some of the traditional blog networks:

Paid $10-$20 per-post
If I were to pay $10 a post to new writers, making 20 posts a month – you’d collect $200.

That’s $200 more than I’m offering today and it’s consistent but, if in a years time the blog you’re working on is making $100,000, you’re still getting paid $200 a month. If, by way of thanks, I then raise your per-post rate to $20 are you happy? (If you answered yes to this question look up ‘rhetorical’ in the dictionary and stop reading now.)

If the blog’s not worth $100,000 in a year, but is running profitably enough to keep you employed, is 20-40hrs a month of your time only worth $200? That’s not even minimum wage.

A larger percentage of a traditional ad-funded blog
Fact: 99% of blogs running Google, Yahoo! or other contextual ads make less than $500 a month.

Let’s assume these blogs beat the odds and make $500 a month with contextual ads, and that 50% of that money’s split between the four writers (leaving the rest for bills, other-staff, infrastructure and me). 25% of $250 makes your 20 posts a month worth about $60, or $3 a post.

Ouch.

Let’s be insanely optimistic and say these blogs rise to the very top and, like the very biggest contextual ad-funded blogs I know of, make about $10,000 a month in revenue

With the same math, you’d collect $1,250 a month. It’ll pay for a decent car, an okay house or a few big nights out each month.

Unfortunately it’s just not realistic – Google and Yahoo! aren’t good at delivering sex-related ads and, even if they were, paid at ten cents to a dollar a click, you’d need to make way more than twenty posts a month to build the blog to that point. More pages means higher expenses which makes me less likely to offer 50% of anything. Besides, can you really see yourself working hard for $50 a month, six months after launch? (NB: if you don’t know how hard the contextual advertising market is, read a few of the comment threads at Problogger. Ironically, Darren’s blog is one of the few that makes real money in the way he teaches.)

4% from Sam Sugar
At the start with you’ll make nothing at all.

That’s not too bad though, because you won’t have to produce a huge volume of posts, in order to create click-generating pages, to feed inefficient contextual ads. You can get your blogging done at the weekend and know you’re building for the future.

Let’s assume that these blogs grow like other sites I’ve built but, because I’m an imbecile and there’s a gaping hole in my plan I can’t currently see, in twelve months the blogs are only making 20% of the money other similarly structured websites do.

Assuming you keep posting 20 times a month, that’s $1.2M a year, or $200 per post, per writer.

Of course, if you post more, those numbers can increase (if we do as well as some existing sites using these principles, those numbers might be five times too small and, you could be getting $20K a month this time next year – wannabe editors can just double everything).

Of course, things might be slow, and there will certainly be unforeseen changes of tack, however as someone paid based on performance you can always be sure you’re being paid fairly. I’m also too smart to think that if the numbers don’t work for you, you’ll stick around. If I need to change the remuneration program to better satisfy writers down the line I will. I’ve been a poor writer too.

So you can guarantee this’ll be a hit then?
Nope – not in any way, absolutely not.

What I can say is that the network will bring more readers to networked blogs than they could ever find on their own. I can explain that this model is based on having decent numbers of readers, and I can tell you I’ve been personally involved in making a number of people very rich by applying exactly these ideas (in slightly different formats because you never make much by copying what’s out there).

I still don’t understand the model exactly.
If I described precisely how to implement it I’d put myself out of business so please forgive me, but key details are missing for smart reasons. Attempting to use the information in this post to implement a similar scheme as is stands could end in – shakes magic 8-ball – fiery death.

How do I become an editor?
Email me and let me know why you think you’d be good at the job. Based on what I hear I’ll assemble the teams. Editors need to be dedicated, hungry, have good writing skills and be on fast connections. You’ll either know, or learn to love, Wordpress (you have to make the sign of the cross when you say it too.)

What do editors do?
Editors will be charged with corralling their writers and maintaining their blogs. No posts will be published without the editor’s authorization, and they will determine the work assigned to each writer. As well as writing for the blog, editors will be charged with finding content for the blog (not hard – I’ll help a great deal with this), and managing the advertising (this doesn’t mean selling ads or dealing with money, just managing the ads as they appear on blog pages). They’ll also get to work with me.

What about my expenses?
There are none. Aside from electricity and your web connection, all other costs will be borne by me.

Thanks to the many people who’ve already expressed an interest in being involved in blogging with me. For those still excited about what lies ahead, email me regarding which blog(s) you’d be interested in working on, an estimate of how many posts you think you can contribute per week (allowing for 2hrs to watch a movie if that’s what you’re blogging, otherwise an hour per post should be fine) and tell me where you are in the world geographically (this is important).

Welcome to the team.

Popularity: 49% [?]

I remember when ‘blogger’ was just slang meaning African-American lumberjack. Now anyone with an opinion and an opposable thumb has a website, and the traditional phrase used to describe people who indulge in public monologues, ‘loudmouth prick’, has been replaced almost entirely superceeded.

That said, as a loudmouth prick, I’ve got to admit this blogging thing’s fun.

As part of building this network, I’m launching a number of new blogs. More than I can write and even if I could, my sense of humor would eventually bore me. To that end I need a few good, smart, ambitious people to help man some new projects. If you’re interested in sexy print, movies, websites or babes I might have something for you.

All writers working on SugarBlogs are paid a percentage of earnings (not a flat post per fee as is traditional) and the blogs in question are designed to be valuable resources to readers (making them valuable properties to advertisers).

If you’re interested in working with me, email a couple of writing samples (shorter is better) and please include a cover letter, which explains a bit about who you are. No attachments and no applications from people who think teamwork means compromise. It doesn’t – teamwork means having people to discuss compromises mandated from above with. Women, minorities and freaks (who can hit deadlines) welcome.

Popularity: 59% [?]

Why don’t hotels put free toothpaste in their bathrooms?

I arrived back from Vegas a few hours ago, once again having packed with all the care of someone fleeing an earthquake. When I arrived I realized I’d forgotten my toothpaste. As I’ve found in every hotel I can remember being in, from roadside motels to five star pads, the bathroom of my room contained hand soap, shampoo, towels but no toothpaste. Why?

What’s the logic behind giving a guy hand-cream, moisturizer and a sewing kit but not a little Colegate? Seriously, for the business traveler toothpaste, a porn DVD and a packet of condoms would be infinitely more useful than a shower-cap. I’m on the edge of starting a ‘Gideons‘ like organization which leaves care packages in bedside tables for weary travelers with a note, “This toothpaste was left here by a pornographer”.

Then again, people might start to question the flavor.

Popularity: 61% [?]

The 2006 Bloggies are now accepting nominations. Though anything that highlights great blogs is valuable, can the Bloggies really claim to represent the ‘best’, when only the blogs which receive the most votes make the shortlist?

You can nominate your favorites here. If you’re going to vote for SugarBank I’d suggest the ‘Best New Weblog’ category and thank-you.

Popularity: 56% [?]

Getting a room in Vegas for next week is proving to be harder than Gary Glitter’s cock at a grade-school nativity.

If anyone reading this has a line on a room from the 4th-8th of January (next week), please let me know as $600 bucks a night is just fucking offensive.

If you don’t have any insider info, but do have a clever suggestion like, “stop being so cheap”, “why didn’t you book earlier” or “Winnebago”, just keep it to yourself you smug prick.

Anyone able to save me a buck should feel free to let me know what I can do for them in return – I do it all but no kissing on the mouth.

Popularity: 35% [?]

Some of you might not realize that I’m a man who has deeply held beliefs:

• Children are our future
• Life after love
• Porn is a 365 day a year occupation

Despite our multicultural society, the majority of porn consumers must be Christians because porn sites are generally ignored around December 25th (maybe next year I should track the readership numbers on each major religious holiday and try to find out the most porn-friendly religion…)

So that’s it for today. I’m having lunch at Claridges in London – if you’re in the neighborhood feel free to stop by and say hello.

Popularity: 39% [?]

I got on a plane, landed in London and suddenly, Boing Boing knows who I am.

NB: If you didn’t believe me when I said traditional website stats aren’t that useful anymore, believe me now – it too me a day to work out it had happened (thanks Vixen.)

If you’re a Boing Boing reader who’s now found SugarBank – thank you and welcome.

Fuck, shit, bollocks, cunt.

Just trying to ease you in guys, just trying to ease you in…

Popularity: 42% [?]

I’m blogging from Philadelphia International Airport waiting for a flight to London. I should be on a flight to LA tomorrow, but unfortunate circumstances beyond my control have drawn me to the UK. All I’ll say is that it’s a crisis, people of many nations are involved, and that I have particular qualifications that make my presence valuable in the eyes of others. If I can’t blog with my usual regularity for the remainder of the week, now you know why.

As I’ve said before, this airport sucks balls. It’s about as international as a house of pancakes and if you’re ever unfortunate enough to get stuck here, remove your belt and laces to make suicide harder to engineer.

It’s as if they’ve deliberately made it awful. Philadelphia has about the best restaurant scene in the US but this terminal has three vending machines to choose from on the drop-off side, and the worlds worst concessions on the other. Philadelphia has ubiquitous free-wifi, but in the airport they charge per connection.

Everyone who works here is pissed off because they’re hungry and have to pay too much for internet access. The TSA guys had a little meltdown when they discovered 2TB of storage in my carry-on along more than the allowed amount of cables, cameras, PSP’s, iPods and other geek tech.

TSA guy examining a small, heavy, aluminum box: “What is this?”

Sam: “It’s a hard drive.”

TSA guy, while swabbing another identical box: “What’s this?”

Sam: “It’s a hard drive.”

TSA guy 2, called over by TSA guy 1, looking at vent holes in larger, shinier aluminum box : “What’s this sir?”

Sam: “It’s the pressure timer for a thermo-nuclear device hidden somewhere in DC. Just fuckin’ with you. It’s a hard drive.”

I need a drink.

On that note, I’ve been asked to speak at Internext this year. I’m on a panel with Dawn & Drew, Jonno from Fleshbot, SoccerGirl and from Regina Lynn from Wired magazine. Assuming they all show of course, otherwise it might be me and the guy who slops out the booths at Manny’s house of video on Crenshaw Blvd. That’s a great jack shack and Manny really keeps it squeaky.

We’re going to talk about “Podcasting, Blogging, and Beyond: The latest developments and opportunities in these hot new trends”, on Thursday, January 5 at 4:30-5:30 p.m because, as you know, the only guys who spend more time looking for hot and new than me, spend most of their time hanging out in chatrooms talking to the FBI.

I’m guessing a few of you guys might be planning to attend, and thought it might be a chance to have a drink, say hello, feel each other up, etc. If you plan to be there let me know, and we can meet somewhere for a drink (first drinks on me if you’re wearing a SugarBank T-Shirt). Don’t worry, I’ll do my best to bring someone more interesting/smarter/who has bigger tits than me.

(This cost me $7.95 to post. Damn.)

Popularity: 40% [?]

Remember I asked you guys for interview questions a few weeks ago? Well now the answers to those questions are online at Sexblo.gs. You were pretty direct, I was so tough with me I almost walked out on myself.

Click here for Sugar on Sugar (sweet enough for you baby?)

Popularity: 52% [?]

Hey Yanks – Happy Thanksgiving. All non-Yanks, happy Thursday (Thanksgiving is the day on which America celebrates a meal between fifty-two colonists and the Americans who, with hindsight, probably should have been less friendly.)

I’m blogging from the airport in Philadelphia (perhaps America’s worst, each concession tries to outdo the last in the ‘I dare you to eat this shit’ stakes) but will post from Hell-A where I’ve gone to visit my stuff and eat Turkey with the kind of people who find the English amusing.

I’ve been asked to interview myself (‘Hey Sugar – go interview yourself!’) for sexblo.gs and so, instead of guessing at what you might want to know about me, thought it’d be smart to ask.

If you’re curious about anything regarding me, as opposed to the industry as a whole, leave a comment and let me know. I will doubtless ignore any questions I deem too personal, potentially embarrassing or which contain words I don’t understand. You’re free to try though.

This’ll also help me build the long awaited ‘about’ page which you might have noticed is currently missing. Fire at will and enjoy your poultry.

Popularity: 38% [?]

For the people wondering where ‘Podnography #16′ has disappeared to, don’t fret, nothing’s been forgotten. Thanksgiving, a hectic travel schedule and a couple of other things soon to be revealed, have forced me to give Podnography a short break, but it will return in early December (2nd or 9th). Thanks for listening, go grab a few old shows and check back for updates (or just use that newfangled RSS thing – it’s great).

Popularity: 38% [?]

Oh happy day. After much swearing, some whiskey and an unfortunate incident with some people waiting in line for a bus, Sugarbank can now be viewed in IE 6.

Of course it’s not perfect, but it’s as hack-free as I can make it, and allows all you retro kids to enjoy SugarBank’s corner of the web 2001 style! Yeah! Anyone on a Mac still using IE 5.2 – seriously, for the love of money, get a grip. It’s a product Microsoft have officially withdrawn from the market and anyone still using it’s just trying to piss me off…

(NB: The woman in the photo is wearing a heated bra. That’s how happy this announcement makes me…)

Popularity: 35% [?]

If you are skilled at CSS/XHTML standards based webdesign, don’t think Wordpress is a heavy book and relish problems as hard as a robots cock – email me with proof. I have more to do than I can handle and need new hands (my actual hands are fine, I just need more help).

Popularity: 37% [?]

Sunday. Getting up late, a gaufre at the local Belgian café and sexblogging in public. Damn it’s good to be a gangsta.

In the coming week I have a number of things I want to do and, as usual, a few things I must. My first priority is SugarBank 2.5.

The site you’re looking at might be the shortest lived redesign in history. The major elements will stay the same but, after a week of trying to devise ways to get Internet Explorer to do what it should, I’ve decided to take the opportunity to make a series of subtle tweaks which will make the blog closer to how I’d like it to be. Until then, if you’re trying to read the site through IE I’m sorry that things don’t look right. They should – trust me they should. Soon they will and, until then, thank Xemu for RSS.

I’ve also been thinking about networking. As I move my blogs to their new home, and to a new publishing system simultaneously, I’m putting together a hub which will allow people to see what else exists in the Sugarverse without having to list each site by name. It dawned on me that this will be the root of an internal network of sexually related blogs and so, I’m interested in finding out who might be interested in joining me (no surprise to regular readers of course…)

I’d be interested in networking blogs which fit the following formula:

• Are sexually focused or regularly cover sexual issues
• Established 90 days or more
• Read by more than their author, mom and dad

And the biggie…

• Established on their own URL (i.e. not myblog.blogspot.com)

The reason for wanting to work with blogs established on their own URL is simple (though probably controversial – comment away). Unless your blog has its own URL you’re totally at the mercy of the company who provides your hosting. If and when they go bankrupt, change their model or decide that they want to purge their system of sexblogs, you’re going to be lost. It’s highly likely that the name of your blog won’t be available to buy, and that means you’ll be faced with establishing a new identity, in a new place, from the ground up. In a network blogs that go through that will stop contributing to the network and become a drain on all the other network members until they’re re-established. It could get ugly.

More practically, the systems offered by free blogging systems (who are most likely to prevent you from hosting at mydomain.com) simply aren’t flexible enough to accommodate the features that the network I imagine will come to include. Finally I think it’s a mark of ambition and dedication to establish a domain. I understand why you might start blogging at a subdomain, but don’t see it as compatible with someone who seriously thinks their blog will be around in five years time.

I know some of you will disagree – please let me know how and why. I’m a grown-up, I might even change my mind. Try not to use the word fucktard – it hurts.

If your interested in affiliating yourself with other blogs, like mine, please let me know. I have a lot of ideas about what a network can, and should, be. Rather than impose those ideas, and risk turning off bloggers I’d be proud to be associated with, let’s see who’s interested and then talk about what we’d all be happy to do.

Popularity: 50% [?]

Though it’s only been a day since I made my last post it feels like longer. I’ve been learning by “Shouldn’t have done that. Damn” for the past couple of days but finally – almost in time for Halloween (almost), SugarBank’s redesign is online and ready to go.

The blog should be easier to read and use, quicker to load and simpler to navigate. If you think so – I’m glad you appreciate what’s been done, if you don’t – be careful what you say, I’m a bit sensitive right now.

Things aren’t perfect yet (I know the comments feed isn’t working for instance) but email me with any ‘WTF!’ discoveries and I’ll deal with them.

Normal blogging service will resume tomorrow – thanks for bearing with me while I did less serious posting in favor of working behind the scenes . If you’re reading this via RSS today’s a good day to check the site.

(NB: If you’re finding links to old articles are broken don’t worry yet. They should be re-directed soon. If you want to point to the URL’s – please do.)

UPDATE: I’ve taken a stab at fixing the layout for IE 6 (damn – that’s a piece of shit browser people, try Firefox – equally free, much, much better. If you have IE 6 and can check the site for me please do and let me know. Their should be three columns at the top of the page, not just one on the far left. I can’t do this myself being Mac-bound (forced to use browsers that meet standards…)

Popularity: 51% [?]

This week at Sugar International’s East European HQ (my apartment in Riga) things have been busy. In fact I’ve been preparing to move back to the US for a while and thus talking to Russians about moving boxes through customs while trying to keep my bribes low (it’s an all bribe system).

I’ve also been making plans for a brief stop at the London HQ and been thinking about a more permanent East Coast HQ. In between that I’ve been sending “WTF YO!?” email to an ISP who doesn’t seem to want my money and finding ‘Oh Shit’ bugs in my redesign which have delayed its launch.

I haven’t even had time to crow about PSP Porn passing its 2 millionth visitor (a few weeks ago), explain why that site’s a little neglected of late or even mention SugarBank passing the 200 post milestone (which was here).

Podnography will be online tomorrow and I will be back – full strength – some time next week. Any continued weirdness until then is a result of my efforts to blog/forge peace worldwide.

In other news – a couple of weeks ago Bill Gates came out on my side of the DVD debate:

From JoyStiq:

"In a speech given last Friday at Howard University in Washington D.C., Bill Gates stated that neither HD-DVD nor Blu-ray will matter in the long run and that both formats will be replaced eventually by plain old hard disks. This hints at one reason why Microsoft excluded “next-generation” disc media from the Xbox platform. It would be incredibly costly (and short-sighted) to stick a next-gen optical disc format in the Xbox 360 when their technical gurus believe that there’s a chance that digital delivery of games could become commonplace in the Xbox 360-PS3-Revolution generation of consoles.

Gates said, “The format that’s under discussion right now, HD versus Blu-ray, that’s simply the last physical format we’ll ever have. Even videos in the future will either be on a disk in your pocket or over the Internet and therefore far more convenient for you.”

It’s not ‘cool’ to have Bill on your side but he’s right on this one.

More proof that I might be onto something here comes from Suze.net (disclaimer – I love Suze).  She’s launched downloadable porn movies, shot beautifully and featuring the best looking people in the business. An easy win (despite the pricing being wrong, but it’ll work okay because the content is so great.)

Another ‘almost right’ implementation of a good idea is Twistys new blog. It’s not the tour replacement it should be because it reads like a tour, looks like a tour and is pushing bookmarks instead of RSS (doh!) However it’s a move in the right direction and likely to be copied. Let’s hope someone gets it 100% right before this 75% right effort becomes the new standard (which is possible – Twistys are huge.)

More comments, ideas, the final ‘How to Make a Professional (Amateur) Porn Movie’ post and some interesting new blogs soon… I’m still here, just busy and living on planes and out of boxes.

Popularity: 29% [?]

My word – podnography, is reaching new heights of fame which warms my heart. Just don’t forget to send me a dollar each time you use it because that’s the magic of capitalism (what are you some kind of damn red?)

It was nice to see the only paper I ever read in the twin-cities using the ‘p’ word recently. It’s a clueless bit of scaremongering, is the problem supposed to be porn on iPods, or minors downloading porn when you don’t want them to?

On another note some anally retentive fucktard dares questions my intelligence by deconstructing the word and finding fault with it. Fault! With my word!? KNEEL HUMAN! KNEEL! His alternative is the catchy and ‘correct’ Audiosexiotics. Yeah… that’s why I get the big marketing consultant dollars and you sit around thinking about where it might be legal to have sex with animals (I’m not kidding) – read it and weep.

Popularity: 24% [?]

Over the next few days SugarBank will be moving to a new server. That’ll involve times when the site appears to be gone, silly mistakes on my part leading to unnecessary problems of my own creation, and undoubtedly a little flakiness when the site’s stable again.

Don’t worry – the blog’s not going offline. Just keep checking back if you encounter problems.

You can also check the blog at this URL which will be unaffected by my tampering (and which will remain active until the move is complete)

http://sugarbank.typepad.com/sam_sugars_blog/

Please don’t build links to that URL – it will not last long.

Popularity: 19% [?]

Thanks to the support of the people who read my blogs (that’s you), my bandwidth usage has really started to spike. I’m often transferring well over 100GB a day and my storage needs, currently a modest 5GB or so, will soon at least double.

I’m currently hosted with a couple of companies but recognize it’d be smarter (and cheaper) to consolidate my data with a single company and am looking at my options. If anyone reading this works for a hosting company and is interested in giving the Sugar sites a new home let me know. I’m open to sponsorship, great deals, and constantly surprised at who reads this.

Care to surprise me? Contact me here.

(The results of my host quest will make for a couple of interesting posts)

Popularity: 19% [?]

Sometimes I worry that I’m not giving you readers enough of my unedited, stream-of-consciousness rambling. A lot of other bloggers feel the same and are helping out (and helping the whole planet if you think about it) by inviting me onto their blogs and podcasts, to regurgitate stuff thirteen year old Wizards tell me while I’m playing World of Warcraft.

The Movie Blog (don’t know what they blog about specifically – sorry) asked me a few questions about the new DVD formats for their podcast.

Popularity: 20% [?]

As of right now, I’m officially helping Violet and Gram at Fleshbot while Jonno, their senior editor, takes a well deserved break. I’ll be posting there as well as here for a bit (which means until I get fired), and trying to keep a few other projects moving along too. It will be hard, but as my dad used to scream through my bedroom door at night:

“All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.”

As I’ll be trying to bring the best of what’s new to the attention of a world full of wankers, please email me if you have any hot info on interesting sex related stuff that might be worth talking about.

Remember – we’re talking about Fleshbot here, they’ve probably written about it already, so do me a favor and search for it on their site before sending it on to me (try the website name and the URL at a minimum). If it’s gold – there will be 72 virgins waiting for you in heaven.

(NB: I’ll also thank anyone sending usable tips here, what could possibly be better than that?)

Popularity: 29% [?]

Why isn’t the world of sex blogs isn’t growing like the mainstream blogging space?

(Wise readers will know that I’m posting this on a Sunday because today only those who are truly wedded to the broadband crack-pipe desperately continue to fix

Popularity: 30% [?]

For years I’ve been jotting down phrases I’d like to see on T-Shirts for some future online sales project. I’m thinking the time is now (inspired by Ms. Kitka’s desire to buy some porn-friendly merchandise and her offer of free modeling). I don’t imagine it’ll be big business, I just want the stuff for me and anyone else who thinks they’re worth putting on.

The design bit’s easy, but does anyone know of manufacturing alternatives to the ubiquitous Cafepress? I’d ideally like to get a few T-Shirts and a couple of bikini’s silk-screened (the bikini’s sound mad I know – but I have a design I’m sure people will want to buy and I want to see more people in bikinis damnit. I think about it all the time.)

I don’t mind a little expense, but have no desire to place large advance orders before I know if anyone’s interested. Obviously – as soon as I publicize the design’s I’ll be ripped off – so I’d prefer to just get stuck in. A single item is enough to start with, as long as orders can be filled after that. Any ideas? I’m very willing to partner with anyone who can help too. Free product will go to anyone making winning recommendations.

If on the other hand you would never buy a T-Shirt or anything else from SugarBank let me know that too…

Popularity: 20% [?]

A couple of weeks ago I asked for help raising the profile of Podnography by supporting the sites like Podcast Pickle who, unlike iTunes, have listed the show.

I have been rewarded with the review shown here. Seriously, my heartfelt thanks to Spanktacular, it’s your support that keeps me going.

Bastard! (Or bitch – it’s hard to tell and I’m an equal opportunity cusser.)

Popularity: 19% [?]

I’m spending a lot of time working on a redesign of my blogs (SugarBank, PSP Porn and Podnography) to coincide with the launch of a new blog (or two…) and a change of CMS (CMS = Content Management System for all those who are not fat geek motherfuckers – wow I’m angry, bad meth – sorry.) It’s amazingly boring and anal.

I am seriously considering a design which doesn’t feature a picture with every post (as you see here now). Few blogs have pictures of the size I use here, most use none at all. It would make this blog more like most others, easier for me to run and a little less colorful.

So my question is – do you guys like/love the pictures or would you be fine without them? Comment away so I can make a decision that most people agree with.

Popularity: 21% [?]

I’ve been thinking about how I can do more to aid the victims of hurricane Katrina and this is what I’ve come up with.

• I will consult for you, to the value of any donation you make to the Red Cross’s Hurricane Katrina Appeal in response to this post, for free.

Normally I bill $400 an hr, but to encourage a response I’m going to be very flexible with how I measure my time. In reality you’ll get 2-4 hrs of my time for each $400 you donate. Via email we can do a lot in an hour, and the more you donate, the more of my time you can buy. I can help you with marketing, public relations, information architecture, deals, strategy and dancing (I’m a great dancer).

I have a finite amount of time so this offer is strictly first-come, first served. I will help with projects of any size but this offer will only cover the first 10 hrs of any assignment. All donations will go directly to the American Red Cross.

If you want my professional advice, tax-free and with the feel-good factor of making a positive difference, now’s your (only) chance to do it. If you want to get something back in return for your donation, or just want me to consult for you (which is something you haven’t been able to buy in over a year), email me and we’ll talk about setting things up. All enquiries will be treated in strict confidence.

In the meantime listen to this and dance around the room like an idiot (I did).

Popularity: 19% [?]

The subscription numbers for Podnography are great but I’d like to hear more from you guys. Podcasting’s like oral sex. It’s rubbish without feedback and hard to do with a dry tongue. Any input? Talk to me (by email please), the show’s even got its own address – podnography@gmail.com

If anyone knows why iTunes is ignoring the show let me know, I’m impatient.

Not everyone’s ignoring us though. Podcast Pickle have a page up for the show, check it out here and leave comments if you like. I can’t hunt you down so easily there so you’re safer.

(Podcast Pickle have been into podcasts longer than Apple have so kudos to them for such an incredible demonstration of good taste. Kudos to you for paying them a visit. Kudos to the Pickle Man for being a pickle – there will be kudos for everyone.)

Popularity: 29% [?]

Smart. Much better.

When I started writing a short series of podcasting I was out of my mind of psychadelic drunks.

All-right that’s an exaggeration but I was tired enough to break one of my own rules. Remember this? I told webmasters off for pretending to be pimps – it’s lame.

I was right back then and I’ll confess, that in a desperate attempt to please you guys (it’s all connected to that Christmas I didn’t get any presents because my parents said I’d been bad), I just threw together the first vaguely porn related title I could think of.

It sucked.

Balls.

But the article’s good, so now ‘Podcast like a Pimp…’ is ‘Podcast like a Pro’ (which is still vaguely sex related if you refer to hookers as ‘pro’s’ rather than ‘my temporary girlfriend’). It’s just less embarassing.

Popularity: 19% [?]

The Podnography edutainment is now online. I know they don’t give Emmy’s for podcasts but if you listen to the show, you can’t help but want to add, ‘yet’ to that statement.

To find our about the show, and the world of sex in general, click here. They’re cool – trust me.

Still reading? Click it damnit. I don’t do this stuff for my own amusement people

Popularity: 28% [?]

If it weren’t for these they’d be called MP3casts.

Go here now and you’ll be ready when it happens tomorrow. Smart right?

Popularity: 28% [?]

Yes. Porn has an aerial display team.

It’s been an interesting week guys (and ladies – you’re guys too).

I’ve heard back from Google regarding PSP Porn. Their official line is we’re looking into something, we won’t tell you what it is, and, if we fix it, we won’t tell you what we’ve fixed, why or when. “Check your URL in 6-8 weeks” is the only hard advice they’ve given me. My new official view on Google is great search engine, shitty customer service.

I also got a call from Australian Penthouse this week who wanted me to contribute to an article on PSP Porn. It’s great – buy a URL, become an expert!

My extended response to Jack’s question of a week ago seems to have killed feedback here dead. Did I over-react? Probably – I consider it an under-appreciated talent. I also think the enormous response to this post has exhausted people.

Now religious people have started ‘contributing’ comments I’ve considered shutting the comment thread down. For now I’m happy to let democracy reign, but don’t have the time or inclination to get into a fruitless debate over the essence of porn. Feel free to jump in if you do.

My long rumored podcasting experiment is on its way. I have had more technical issues than NASA this week. If it’s not done by Sunday lunchtime I’ll officially give up. I’ve now recorded two shows that I’ve had to scrap for reasons of timeliness and/or poor content, and replaced a microphone. My third iteration should see the light of day and I’m trying to ensure it’s worth the wait.

TGP.com is also on its way. The design is now done and I’m pretty pleased with it. I will roll it out very, very softly here next week. I’d like to start posting links to good blog postings ASAP. It should mean lots more traffic for everyone.

Insanely, given the other things going on, I’ve been thinking about launching another project. Who’s up for a collaborative sex Wiki (you know – like Wikipedia)? A site we all own which provides a repository for anything and everything online sex related – webmaster info, blogs, photos, video etc.

I’d be prepared to pay for the bandwidth and provide a URL. My fear is that some in the adult community might not be able to resist exploiting a Wiki and destroying it’s value. What do you think? Would you contribute? Would you help police it?

If it worked it could become a far deeper and broader repository of sex-site/blog/performer/amateur info than currently exists anywhere.

Who’s up for it?

Popularity: 21% [?]

9Rules, so sexless it’s depressing.

Some of you may be familiar with the 9Rules network. It’s a group of blogs who’ve decided they’re great, and have got together to revel in mutual admiration.

If they have meetings, I bet they’re all like, “No seriously – your blog is amaaaazing,” or “You’re such a clear thinker. Why aren’t the corporations listening to bloggers?” Then they all do each other with tofu dildos.

Actually, 9Rules is pretty smart. They have built a network of blogs where quality’s guaranteed. Members swear some sort of blood-oath to share traffic through the central hub, and then benefit from the attention being ’special’ brings.

They recently took on their second wave of blogs (and when I say Second Wave I don’t mean the Arab terrorist group who tried to detonate a nuclear bomb in Los Angeles, only to be thwarted by the amazingly tenacious Jack Bauer and his comrades at LA’s Counter Terrorist Unit.)

I read a number of blogs by 9Rules members, and there’s nothing adult (or even vaguely sexy) in there at all. That’s a pity – I’ve been looking for decent sexblogs to link too and there’s no easy way to find them.

So here’s my question – if 9Rules aren’t going to get into porn, do you think there’s any demand for a network of quality, no-filler sexblogs? (I do) A blog you could visit to find the best sexblogs online without wading though organic fertilizer? If you do – who should be in it?

(NB: I’m not referring to blogs like Fleshbot and Eros which find sexy stuff online. I mean a blog that would help you find quality sites like Fleshbot and Eros to start with).

Popularity: 21% [?]

Let’s like totally write a blog together!

SugarBank is maturing like a fine cheese (which probably goes some way to explaining the smell.) After less than two months there are lots of regular readers (okay – about ten) and I’m getting a lot of smart email from you gorgeous people (okay – one smart email which turned out to be an offer to ‘Buy! Ci@l1$’).

I know some of you run blogs of your own and I’d like to know who you are, what you’re up to, and possibly trade links (if you have other offers to make, I’m open to swinging, most fetishes and role-play).

I’m about to re-vamp (Re-vamp: to replace the vampires in) my links page, and bring them to a more prominent part of the site. Now’s a good time for me to put your blog on it. Obviously blogs which reference sex, porn or otherwise make me hard (i.e. stuff about trains and people dressed up as cartoon animals) are especially welcome.

General suggestions on things to check out are also cool. I want to reach out to you (especially those of you wear little and know where the good parties are). Write to me here.

Popularity: 21% [?]

His name is Alberto!

A few weeks after I launched SugarBank, in the late spring as I recall when new leaves strained to block the sun and blossom was everywhere, I switched my syndication feeds to Feedburner.

That same week I decided I wanted to get a dog and, two weeks ago, after visiting every pound and after-hours dog-fight in LA, I found Alberto – a beautiful twelve week old Siberian Husky.

Say hi to Alberto – SugarBank’s official mascot.

Feedburner offers bloggers like me a number of advantages. They format your feeds so that anyone can read them using a single URL, regardless of the reader you’re using or the format you prefer. Very useful in a sea of syndication acronyms that I’m too cool to understand.

They also broadcast your feeds on their bandwidth, taking the weight off your struggling servers (SugarBank lives on a rack of Commodore 64’s hooked into a 3200 baud modem).

Best of all they offer detailed reporting, enabling you to see what’s being read and what’s not. Highly useful if you want people to write posts people enjoy.

Yesterday I discovered that I’d forgotten to change 90% of the links on the site to point to the correct feeds (a silly mistake that I blame on recent changes to 2257 legislation).

Currently about half the subscribers to SugarBank aren’t pointing at the right code. It makes no difference to you but, if you re-subscribe to the right feed using the link below, I can get a better idea of what’s popular and make this blog a more interesting place to be.

Accurate statistics are really important to me so I’ve had to make a difficult decision. If you’re a subscriber who’s not using the correct Feedburner feed, I’m not giving Alberto any dinner this evening. I see no way around this – do as I ask or Alberto goes hungry.

I’m JOKING! That’s sick. I’d never deny Alberto food. What kind of guy do you think I am?

(Seriously – this isn’t a joke, if you don’t re-subscribe now I’m sticking Alberto tail first into a woodchipper.)

JOKE!

Please make sure you’re subscribing to: http://feeds.feedburner.com/Sugarbank

Thanks to the 66% of you who are using that feed already.

If you visit SugarBank a lot and don’t subscribe why not do it now? You’ll get each post, in it’s entirety, without having to remember to visit. You can still swing by to kick back and enjoy the generally chilled-out lovers vibe I’ve set up here of course.

(I’m not joking. Seriously. Subscribe. Now. Alberto. Woodchipper.)

Popularity: 31% [?]

I cruise MySpace in one of these.

It’s the weekend and hardly anyone’s reading blogs. Given that I might as well let my hair down and take advantage of being able to deny anything I post today.

Yesterday someone copied my “How to Date a Porn Star in Eleven Easy Steps” to a MySpace group (see yesterdays comments for details). To see it I had to join MySpace and I’m now a member without any friends (apart from some Tom guy who’s almost certainly waiting until I’ve had a few to many before he makes a move on me). If you want to be my friend on MySpace look me up and we’ll do whatever MySpacers do. Damn, I haven’t asked anyone to be my friend since fifth grade.

(Brandon’s just called me a chump for failing to list my MySpace URL so here it is http://www.myspace.com/sugarbank. Thanks Brandon)

Finally, I was looking at my weblogs this morning, and went to check out what people are typing into search engines in order to find SugarBank. Someone wrote “what damages does big dicks to vaginas?”. That’s really more an illiterate boast than a query isn’t it?

Popularity: 31% [?]

Saul Austin, PR for Treasure Island Media

I hope this blog is beginning to make one point clear – the adult industry is about more than being a performer.

Here’s another important point – a lot of porn is gay.

Here’s another point – it’s not what your country can do for you, it’s what you can do for your country.

Saul Austin handles PR for one of the most controversial companies in porn. Treasure Island Media make hardcore, bareback, gay porn. Bareback, which doesn’t include a condom, is considered highly controversial by a lot of people in the gay community. Despite that, it accounts for a significant chunk of the gay market.

I talked to Saul about gay porn, the bareback controversy, Lesbians, poetry and the realities of the jizz bizz.

If you’ve been patiently waiting for me to mention the gay market, your wait is over.

Sam Sugar: What exactly do you do at Treasure Island Media and how did you get there?

Saul Austin: I got here by answering a Craigslist ad with the heading "Nasty and growing all-male porn company needs PR rep."

They asked for a poem detailing why I’d be the right man for the job. I was tired of waiting tables, and I figured I had nothing to lose. I wrote a poem referencing, among other things: Machiavelli, clown-midget couplings, heroin, and aphasia. Two days later I went in for an interview, and two days after that they hired me.

SS: Do you remember the poem? Care to share it with us?

SA:

I can spell aphasia,
Cunnilingus,
Candidae,
And Erasthmus,

And I know what they all mean.

I know from Machiavelli
And strap-on butt-plugs,
Craigslist personals,
And sperm-splashed mugs,

But you’ll never see me squeam.

I’ve been paid in dirt before,
And written haikus for faulty service.
I can sell coffee to a tweaker
Or talk a junkie out of horse.

My references back me up.

I’ve been all across the country,
I’ve seen quite a bit of porn:
From S&M horse-cocked clown-midget couplings
To "holy shit you can see the corn!"

(and basic softcore with a large-sized cup).

SS: Wow. I need a moment… I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry….Okay. What are the cornerstones of Treasure island’s business?

SA: I wrote in our blog that "Treasure Island thrives on spontaneity, risk, and an underlying but pervasive sense of humor." On the webpage it says "Documenting Male Sexuality for the 21st Century." I think either of those sum us up pretty well.

Our films are essentially documentaries – of the kind that are archived at the Kinsey Institute. Our models fuck in our films the same way they fuck off-camera.

SS: Treasure island deals in bareback porn. As I understand it the gay porn industry doesn’t test performers for STD’s. How do you explain the decision to make such high-risk material?

SA: Treasure Island Media does not use condoms in our films. There seems to be a huge swing toward conservatism in the world of gay porn.

While that sounds kind of idiotic (gay porn and conservative in the same sentence?), it seems to be true. The bulk of gay porn is overwhelmingly scared of being judged by a few extremely vocal and usually undersexed men who are obsessed with how all the people who aren’t them are fucking each other.

There are porn films where the action is getting hotter and hotter, only to be interrupted by a totally condescending "this-is-how-to-put-the-condom-on-the-banana" routine. I’m going to go out on a limb and call that bullshit.

Saying you hate condoms is like saying you hate answering machines, or Mondays. It’s a  cliche. While there is a time and a place for condoms, that time and place is not in my fucking porn film.

Our models are tested, our shoots are safe, and our porn is hardcore. Asking us to place preachy bullshit as bookends on either side of our fuck scenes is demeaning to everyone involved.

SS: Does being bareback cause you any problems within the industry?
SA: Totally- the anti-barebacking bias runs deep enough that a number of sites won’t even respond to my emails, much less review our films.

Some places will cover our all-oral films, but other than that we might as well not exist. In a number of cases, this is more an issue of fear than anything else. I get so many emails from review sites, industry magazines, and journalists that say, "I personally love your films, but we aren’t set up to deal with the political backlash."

This is overwhelmingly bad business, considering how popular our films actually are. Our new releases are regularly in the top five rentals on the JRL charts (the Billboard Top 40 for the gay porn industry), meaning that the general public wants bareback porn as much, if not more than, ‘condom-fetish’ flicks.

But there’s a kind of "Jim Crow" law that’s been put in place by some of the big boys (and one big drag queen) where they try to blacklist any performer who has ever done a bareback film.

Here’s the thing, no matter what anyone says, it’s a form of censorship. Some people want to limit what other people can watch, for whatever reasons. People who try to force their beliefs on other people tend to ultimately end up looking like assholes.

SS: Do performers work both sides of the condom/bareback divide?
SA: Sometimes. Sean Storm’s been in a few of our films, as has Jacob Scott, Dick

Wolf, Max Holden, Steve Parker, Mike Nichols, Matt Sizemore, Will West, and a few others.

SS: Are you aware of any of ‘gay-for-pay’ performers working in your productions? What do you think of the whole ‘gay-for-pay’ phenomena?
SA: There’s a number of "straight" guys in our solo masturbation films. As for men fucking each other, I’m going to go back to Kinsey and say everyone’s a bit bisexual, with most people simply having a preference.

No matter who you are or what you’re thinking, an orgasm is a sincere thing. You can’t cum without getting into the moment, people can tell.

Girls in straight porn obviously fake orgasms with a regularity that’s kind of insulting – but you can’t fake an erection.

The industry has turned straight guys into a bit of a fetish. I’ve seen movies where the supposedly straight guy isn’t just gay, he’s stereotypically, over-the-top, three-shades-of-lavender, queenie-gay, and he’ll lisp things like, "Oh Daddy, I thware I’ve never thucked a cock," it’s ridiculous.

It’s not entirely a media thing. I think people feel more comfortable with black/white, gay/straight polarities than they do with the gray area of bisexuality, so we wind up with awkward concepts like "gay-for-pay."

SS: What’s the health record for bareback at Treasure Island (the porn company – not the Casino, the VD’s airborne in that hellhole)?
SA: No way anyone’s caught anything. We’re rigorous about testing. I’d say we’re more careful about screening and safety than most straight studios.

SS: How does the size of the bareback market compare to the gay porn industry as a whole?

SA: Bareback is still essentially a niche, which is a little odd.

I’d say that bareback is to the entirety of the gay porn industry, what girl-girl is to the entire straight porn industry. 13%? 26%? I’m basing those numbers on scientific polls that I just made up.

The niche is based entirely on not using a condom. Which seems weirdly natural to me. It’s the only niche market that exists based on a lack of something, rather than the addition of something (leather, smoking), or an emphasis on something not usually focused on (feet). If porn were about breathing rather than fucking, we’d be a niche because our models don’t wear gasmasks.

SS: What would you say to a guy interested in getting into gay porn (aside from "Work out a lot)? Are the challenges different than for straight performers?

SA: As you’ve mentioned in your blog before, guys in straight porn have their work cut out for them, because the industry isn’t about them. It is much, much easier to be a performer in gay porn.

Start sending those stats and naked pictures to your favorite studios, or, if you live in South Dakota, to whatever studio is geographically closest to you.

Everyone is always looking for models. Also, don’t use the word "hot" to describe yourself. Unless you actually have a fever. "Hot" has been thoroughly played out by the adult industry. We need a new adjective. Moist? Catastrophic? I don’t know. Be creative.

SS: What would you say is the best thing about working in the adult industry?

SA: My favorite thing is the conversations. You know that annoying question at parties, "So… what do you do?"

It’s a bullshit question that people ask because they want to pigeonhole you based on their idea of your income demographic. I used to say, "I work at Wendy’s," despite the fact that I never have, because fuck you, right?

Now I say, "I do PR for bareback gay porn," because it’s fun to watch people squirm. They usually don’t know how to deal with that information.

SS: The worst thing about the jizz-bizz?

SA: Fear. We’re already pornographers, we’re already tainted and we’ve already been blacklisted by Jesus Christ and Santa Claus – quit fucking being so concerned with what everyone thinks of you as a person.

I hate people crawling all over themselves trying to be politically correct so they can point their fingers and condemn someone else. In for a penny, in for a pound, no?

SS: There’s a huge divide between straight and gay in porn – why do you think it exists?

SA: There’s not a whole lot of crossover potential in porn.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. A friend of mine runs a rental shop in the Castro (San Francisco’s gayest district), and straight porn gets rented by a decent-sized swathe of the gay community because they get off on the guy and the fucking.

Like, you know how straight porn assumes that the viewer is getting off to the half of the screen that doesn’t actually contain cock? It’s exactly the opposite.

Even so, it’s hard to get a straight guy to sit down and watch two guys fucking each other on film. The only exception to that that I can think of offhand is "The Luv Generation" by Black Mirror productions. It ends with an all-guy orgy that sort of comes out of nowhere.

SS: Are gay performers who perform in bi-sexual movies (which contain male homsexual acts as well as ’straight’ sex) stigmatized the way women are who do the same thing?

SA: Women are stigmatized for that? I had no idea. Has anyone pointed out that that’s kind of a dumb thing to be stigmatized for?

No. I’ve never heard anyone say, "I am so over Mikey Horsecock. I heard he fucked a girl."

SS: Straight porn seems to be getting more extreme – double and triple anals, creampies, slapping, choking, piss and vomit have all started to appear. Are there similar trends in the gay market?

SA: Gay porn has had things like water-sports and fisting, but not in the same sense as straight porn.

I’ve noticed the trend in straight porn towards "extreme," but I think "extreme porn" is simply a polite way of saying "humiliating rape-fantasy porn".

I personally don’t think there’s a whole lot of Eros in watching a girl cry while being forcefully throat-fucked by a guy who is calling her a dumpster, but I’m not really one to judge.

I’m not sure what demographic that market is aiming at, but I don’t imagine that that audience is a charming one to spend time with. I’m betting that it has something to do with men who have a desire to see women punished based on their own lack of confidence around them. Who actually fucks like that? I mean, outside of institutions. No one, that’s who.

SS: There’s no ‘lesbian’ porn market to speak of. Is that because lesbians watch girl-girl porn aimed at straight men or is something different happening?

SA: Have you seen the porn that’s made by lesbians for lesbians? It tends to be really love-y and stars plus-sized girls emphatically not shaving each other’s legs.

It feels more like a political statement, which, come to think of it, I guess it is.

However, all my lesbian friends that get off on movies want hot amateur girls fucking each other, they want the cast of "The L-Word" to strip down and go at it.

This basically leaves them with the for-men girl-girl stuff.

If you want to defy all conventional porn classifications, there’s always ‘Trannyfags‘ -F2M transexuals who fuck each other (and "bio-men") with strap-ons in the ass, making it a movie about, to paraphrase Blur, "Girls who want boys who like boys to be girls who do boys like they’re girls who do girls like they’re boys."

SS: If you could run porn for a day what would you do?

SA: I’d probably become a monster from movies about the porn industry in the 70’s. I’d wear garish clothes, refer to everyone as "baby," and throw parties that involve people skiing down mountains of cocaine (rather than snorting it, I would be that wasteful).

I’d have sideburns, and I’d surround myself with beautiful afro’d boys and girls who would know both kung-fu and how to make a perfect Bloody Mary.

SS: Where do you see the adult market in five years?

SA: I can only cross my fingers and hope it’s still around. I mean, there will always be porn- I just hope it doesn’t have to go underground.

SS: Is someone wanted to watch a single piece of your companies work what would you recommend?

SA: Not to give the typical, "our current film" answer, but "Plantin’ Seed 2", which just came out, has everyone’s favorite models (Dawson, Jesse O’Toole, Damon Dogg), fucking and sucking each other like crazy. It’s a solid film, and everyone loves it.

SS: What’s next on Treasure Island’s schedule?

SA: Right now we’re working on kind of an art film by these sexy Swedish skinheads, Pierce and Massimo, who call themselves "Anarcocks". They are part of a collective of performance artists called Black Sun Productions. It’s a dark, industrial, edgy film.

We’re always working on new bareback and oral films, and we’re talking about starting a line of solo films.

SS: Who should wannabe performers contact at Treasure Island and how (or shouldn’t they at all)?

SA: Wannabe performers should get in touch with our casting director, Nick, he’ll take good care of them.

SS: Anything else you want to plug right now?

SA: Well, I already plugged "Plantin’ Seed 2", so I’m just going to invite people to get in touch with me if there’s anything I can help them with. Oh! and the Treasure Island Media blog.

SS: Thanks Saul.

Popularity: 24% [?]

As of yesterday, SugarBank’s been online for exactly one month. Ahh… one month ago. Remember those iPods? How we used to talk over email? It could have been yesterday.

Here are the statistics for SugarBank’s first month online and my first month of public unprofessional therapy blogging.

• 100,000 people have visited SugarBank
• 91 people have subscribed to this blog (all of them beautiful geniuses)
• 50 posts have been… er… posted
• 25 comments have been left (mostly by Kami Andrews fans)
• 4 Interviews have been published
• 1 piece of anti-semitic hate-mail has been received (serves me right for having a Jewish name I guess)

It’s been a lot of fun – it will continue. Thanks for your support.

Popularity: 21% [?]

No – I don’t mean SugarBrook, you stupid.

Attention: Larry Page and Sergey Brin

RE: Google’s billing system

Larry, Serge,

Google is about to launch a billing system. Though you’re not following PayPal’s existing stored-value person-to-person model, you will be competing with their ‘Pro’ product which allows people to buy items on websites directly. This will have a huge impact on the online adult industry and, because of that – as I’ll demonstrate, on Google as a whole.

I’m unaware of you employing any experts in the adult industry, so I’m writing to explain things from an insider’s point of view.

(Feel free to skip to my conclusions if you’re short of time)

Google and adult material

You run the single most important website online and, by extension, the most important website for people selling adult material.

Google is porn friendly. You provide tools to allow people to view adult images in their search results, there appear to be no restrictions on the type of products that can be found via Froogle, and a great number of the blogs you host (at blogger.com) contain adult material.

This is good business. Though you don’t publish your most popular searches, I’d bet dollars to donuts that ’sex’ and ‘porn’ consistently make your top-ten, giving some indication of the average Google user’s interest in sexuality.

Google’s integration of adult material into its services is not only logical and fair, it’s demanded by users.

Conclusion: Google is already in the porn business and it would be damaging to withdraw.

The adult industry’s banking problem

Banking is a perennial thorn in the side of even the largest and most successful adult websites. All adult companies are overcharged by merchant banks poorly equipped to deal with transactions they consider to be ‘high-risk’.

Before PayPal withdrew from offering billing services to adult companies (around the time they were acquired by eBay), they were the preferred customer choice for the websites that offered them as a payment option.

It’s hard to justify PayPal’s withdrawl on ‘moral’ grounds given the volume of pornography sold via eBay. The logical assumption is that PayPal’s decision to ban adult transactions is due to an inability to handle them well. What is beyond question is that their decision loses them billions a year.

Consumers don’t find adult websites easy to trust, and would welcome the ability to buy adult material without sharing their financial information with companies they’re unsure of. Google is universally trusted and so, when you launch the Google billing system, the adult industry will rush to use it.

Conclusion: PayPal have banned ‘high-risk’ transactions due to a lack of technical expertise. Google can satisfy a waiting billion dollar market by catering to adult transactions.

Difficulties of handling adult transactions

Adult transactions aren’t like most others. For a number of reasons they are more likely to fail or ‘chargeback’. Adult websites are particularly vulnerable to chargebacks because they can’t obtain a signature online, which makes it easy for customers to claim that they didn’t authorize a transaction.

(NB: A chargeback occurs when a customer tells their bank that they’ve been charged for something they shouldn’t have, and as a result their bank reverses the transaction. The bank will fine the vendor who made the charge and record the chargeback. Banks routinely close accounts which suffer chargeback’s of 1%. A chargeback can take place up to 6-months after a customer is initially billed.)

Controversial legislation is about to go into effect regarding record-keeping for publishers of adult material online.

This new ‘2257′ legislation will make a number of currently legal websites illegal when they go into effect. Essentially the new laws presume that existing, documented, currently lawful material, is no longer lawful unless the newly expanded record-keeping requirements are satisfied.

The retro-active application of these new rules is going to make a lot of legal material illegal overnight due to differences in paperwork. The new laws require that ’secondary publishers’ – people publishing images they weren’t involved in the creation of – have full sets of documentation for all the performers involved. They cannot, as they could previously, refer authorities to the people who produced the material.

This means that if I want to publish an explicit image of Jenna Jameson I need a copy of her driver’s license in my files. This clearly puts adult performers at risk and will result in a lot of material being withdrawn from distribution.

The effects on the ‘free’ adult internet are expected to be dramatic and Google – who are a secondary publisher of adult material via cached search results – may also be liable.

Conclusion: Though handling adult transactions is complicated, publishing adult material – which Google already does in it’s cache and via blogger.com – is more so.

Why bother billing for adult companies?

Allowing users to pay for adult material using Google’s billing system will offer the company a number of advantages:

• People want to buy adult material. The demand is stratospheric. Paul Fishbein, of Adult Video News, said that when anti-porn campaigners are faced with the reality of 800 million adult movie rentals a year in the US, liked to imagine – “It’s eight-hundred guys who each rent a million movies each.”
• PayPal don’t do it. Handling adult transactions well will give users a powerful reason to consolidate their online billing with Google. In fact, if Google miss the adult opportunity, PayPal would be smart to re-open the door to adult to win back market share.
• Adult companies are easy to convert. Amazon already has millions of customer’s payment details, there’s very little reason for customers to move those transactions to Google. Adult websites are different, most customers would far prefer to give their billing information to Google than an unknown adult company. These buyers are valuable, Google’s analysis of search patterns must reveal that consumers of adult material are the same people spending money on cars, shoes and records. If you can capture a customer buying adult material you’ll have them when they’re shopping for other things.
• Stealth marketing. Accepting adult transactions will market Google payments by word-of-mouse very quickly. Google has built a business without spending money advertising, accepting adult transactions will help ensure this continues.

Conclusion: Taking adult transactions will give Google the ‘adult edge’ that VHS used to overtake Betamax. PayPal’s neglect is Google’s opportunity.

How should Google handle adult transactions?

All of the challenges of taking high-risk transactions have been successfully dealt with by a number of companies who specialize in that area. Google should buy one of them.

Specialist ‘high-risk’ billing companies are the ‘Delta-Force’ of credit-card processing. The techniques they use to extract the maximum profit from a pool of potential transactions, while eliminating those who’ll chargeback, can be applied to all of Google’s billing business improving its efficiency overall.

The high-risk processor Google buys should be small. Not only are the best adult processors not the biggest but, because banks look at chargebacks as a percentage of the total transaction volume, big processors who handle significant volumes of low-risk business (like boxes delivered to houses and signed for on receipt) can balance their chargebacks against large numbers of successful transactions. The small adult specialists only deal in high-risk transactions and can’t play the statistics in this way, they have to be better in order to compete.

To avoid problems with 2257 regulations Google should only offer billing for adult transactions which come from websites not hosted on Google servers. Otherwise accepting adult transactions will result in a flood of adult material to Blogger.com from optimistic amateurs, putting Google at risk as a secondary publisher.

Conclusion: Adult transactions are already being managed profitably and efficiently by a number of small companies. Google has the resources and the brainpower to handle adult transactions safely if it chooses to.

What should Google do next?

For Google to successfully extend its reach into the adult market with its new billing arm it should do the following:

• Announce a policy on adult transactions. By preparing the market to use Google you will enable adult companies to prepare for the transition and ensure a rapid take-off.
• Commit and weather the storm. Adult material, though legal, is not popular in all quarters. If Google do the smart thing, some people will protest that Google is doing the wrong thing. As a provider of tools, Google has a limited say in how those tools are used and in this case, prohibition would be censorship. Google should understand that anti-adult voices will always drown out the silent, porn consuming majority. Don’t be evil. Stand for what’s right, however unpopular it is in some circles.
• Buy a small adult processor with a great track record. Google could absorb chargebacks without risk, by washing them against an enormous volume of ’safe’ business, but why not use cutting edge processing technologies to maximize profit and reduce risk across the board?
• Hire an expert. The adult industry is highly specialized and confusing to newcomers. Often people from the outside assume everyone working in adult is a criminal, stupid or criminally stupid. They’re not. Get someone smart who knows the terrain to guide you though it.

Good luck, you don’t need it.

You friend,

Sam Sugar.

Popularity: 24% [?]

Kami Andrews

Kami Andrews is well known to readers of Adult DVD Talk as a columnist and contributor (I think columnist is the most subtle job description you could give an adult performer and not be lying). Unlike most performers Kami writes columns as well as riding them.

Kami runs a totally free website at KamiLand and is known for being a ‘do-it-all’ kind of gal with a dedicated following.

She bitch-slapped me when I put out an APB on a message board, trying to gather a few interviewees for the blog that I don’t know personally. After (correctly) pointing out that I’d gone about things the wrong way, she was kind enough to talk to me about her experiences in the industry.

She’s funny – her advice for Father’s day was “Call your dad or knock up a hooker.” If that’s an old joke it’s new to me.

Sam Sugar: So Kami, what don’t we know about you from seeing your movies or reading your website?

KA: Well I pretty much lay everything out in my diary . There isn’t much to me that isn’t there. What many people don’t know is that I will not fuck them just because they saw me work in whatever.

SS: What did you do before entering the industry? Why did you change paths?

KA: I worked in the mall and I changed paths because I worked at the mall.

SS: How did you choose your porn name?

KA: The Andrews is from Julie Andrews in ‘ Victor Victoria ‘ – and yes, I was born a woman. Kami is a Japanese Goddess. I like the Shinto interpretation of Kami .

SS: What was your first experience in the industry like?

KA: It was amazing I was very wide eyed and eager.

SS: Who were you working for and what did you do? Any surprises?

KA: My first scene was for Slain Wayne in "New Chicks on the Cock". It was with Hamilton Steele and edited by Mason. No surprises. I was happy.

SS: What do you wish you knew when you started that you know now?

KA: I would have liked to know who the scumbags were up front. People told me, but you know what you want to right?

SS: Who are the scumbags? Who would you tell people to run from? Why are they scumbags? What do, or don’t, they do?

KA: Dude I gotta skip those.

SS: At least tell me what the bad guys do. You don’t have to name names but what should people look out for?

KA: I think the biggest problem I see for new girls is the wrong agent and the wrong suitcase pimp.

SS: Is there a ‘right’ suitcase pimp?

KA: Sure pick a small one you can escape from easily. Avoid ones that want to take you "…to where Charles Manson killed all those people" on a first date. Avoid ones that say "Try this babe you’ll be skinny in a week"

SS: What’s been your worst working experience?

KA: When I know the dude doesn’t like me

SS: What’s the best thing about working in porn?

KA: You have the best sex of your life, at the end of the day they give you money and then you take three days off. It’s a great fucking life.

SS: You’re known for being hardcore. How do you set your limits? Have they changed while you’ve been in the industry?

KA: My limits change daily. I do what I want, when I want, and never make excuses when I change my mind.

SS: What’s would you tell a girl on her way to her first hardcore shoot?

KA: Relax. Don’t do anything you don’t want to. The magic word is cut.

SS: Who would you say is the most powerful/influential person in porn?

KA: Fuck if I could figure that out… The thing is we get caught up in trying to impress each other and we forget the bottom line is – how many units did you move? So much of what porn people are doing is for the benefit of this small group, not the actual end user.

SS: Who do you most admire?

KA: That’s a tough one. Probably Francesca Le . She directs her own shit on her own terms. She is happy, able to hold a relationship together and she makes her own choices. If she wants to perform she does. If she wants to dance she does. No one tells her what to do and it’s reflected in her product.

SS: How important do you think your website is to you success and why?

KA: I don’t think it is at all. My website is a shitty little vanity page that makes me happy and gives me something to do when I don’t want to clean the house and am out of beer. I don’t sell anything and I don’t make money off it.

If anything it’s cost me a few jobs when I tell off the wrong people!

SS: How big a part of porn are drugs?

KA: Porn is what you make of it. If you decide you wanna get high all the time it’s easy because you only work three days a week for a few hours and you have a big pile of money.

At the end of the day you can have whatever experience in porn you decide to. Seeing some people (jump on the) downward spiral and hit bottom can be an eye opener and keep you sober – forever.

SS: Which piece of work are you proudest of and why?

KA: Right now I would say "Who Let the Whores Out" which is the first movie I directed.

SS: If you controlled the whole industry for a day, what would you do to change it?

KA: I would grab everyone’s money and run

SS: What’s the most common mistake people in the industry make?

KA: Dating .

SS: Do you have a plan to leave the business?

KA: My plan is to wash a bowl so I can have some cereal. After that I’m going to take a nap, then call my boyfriend. That’s as far into the future as I have looked.

SS: Is there anything coming up soon which you’re excited about (no pun intended)?

KA: I’m excited about my first directorial movie, "Who Let The Whores Out" from Elegant Angel .

No idea on the release date but it stars me, Katrina Kraven, Tyla Wynn,Sandra Romain, and Penny Flame. It has 4 anal scenes and 1 vag. Hot stuff. It’s vignette style.

SS: Thanks Kami.

Popularity: 23% [?]

Haley Madsen. The image courtesy of ATKingdom. Click for 18 U.S.C. 2257 informataion

Haley Madsen has been modeling for three years. She runs a successful and totally free website. Like this one only with more hot-chickage and less chat. It’s predictably wildly successful.

Sam Sugar: Tell us a little about who Haley is and where she’s from?

Haley Madsen: Although I live in beautiful Southern California, I grew up in a tiny town just north of Sacramento.

I’m a small-town girl, so the busy lifestyle of LA can be pretty overwhelming at times. I’m just a nerd at heart (I love school, reading, writing poetry, playing piano) and a hopeless romantic.

SS: What are the most important things about you for people to know that they can’t find out from reading your website?

HM: I think our country (or better yet, the entire world) has some serious problems to work out. We shouldn’t be wasting our time telling people they shouldn’t be proud of their bodies or, heaven forbid, take a few erotic photographs.

How can issues of morality be brought up when people and nations are doing far worse things? I guess sometimes I feel like I come from a different planet, that I have nothing in common with the majority of the human race. I hate superficiality.

SS: You’re 5′10″. Did you think about fashion modeling before you entered the adult business?

HM: Yes I am quite tall, but I had never really thought about becoming a fashion model. I don’t think I would have had the heart to do it full time and make a career of it.

The constant traveling, being under management, people telling you what to do and what to wear, having to wear crazy outfits and eccentric makeup, being under constant scrutiny for your looks, your weight, the way you walk, etc – all these things would have ruined the experience for me.

Modeling in the adult industry is so free and enjoyable– a lot of times I get to design my own makeup and hairstyles, pick my own clothes, and pose the way I want to. I’m not just taking orders, I’m collaborating on an idea. Sexiness is something that comes from within, and you don’t have to be on a catwalk to see that.

SS: How did you first get involved in the adult industry?

HM: Because of my height, people always said I should play basketball, volleyball, or be a model. I never really thought about it until I moved down to Southern California for college, when my best friend started modeling nude and I saw she was having tons of fun, making money, and meeting great people.

She recommended me to one of her photographers and I set up a photo shoot in the summer of 2002. I’ve been modeling for 3 years now and it’s been great!

SS: How did you choose your porn name?

HM: I didn’t really want a name that was "porno" sounding, I wanted something that was believable and could reflect my girl-next-door look.

I chose Haley simply because I liked it (and it’s the feminine form of "hero" in old Germanic languages I believe). For about a year and half I was just Haley, then I decided to tack on a last name, so I went through the phone book and found something that sounded good.

I googled the name "Haley Madsen" to make sure I wasn’t copying anyone or using a last name that was already too popular.

SS: What was your first experience like?

HM: Great. I did a solo photo shoot for a website, and it was just two simple photo sets starting out clothed and ending up nude. I was surprisingly comfortable, and couldn’t wait to book more work.

SS: Since that first shoot how has your attitude towards the business changed?

HM: My attitude hasn’t really changed since my first shoot. I still enjoy working, but I have a deeper appreciation for it and all the people I’ve met along the way.

SS: What are the limits you’ve set yourself for your work in the adult industry?

HM: I do solo stills, solo video, and soft girl/girl assignments. (The only exception to this rule was a special Christmas girl/girl photo set I did with my best friend in 2004.)

I didn’t set these limits for myself because of my morals, I simply would not feel comfortable having sex with another person on camera. However, if someone else wants to, I support them!

SS: What’s been your worst working experience?

HM: My worst experience so far was working with this one fetish/bondage photographer. He wanted me to wear a pair of white panties that had been worn by another girl the day before. He didn’t understand why that was not only inappropriate, but incredibly unsanitary, and he got upset that I was being fussy.

Needless to say, I ended the shoot immediately!

SS: What do you wish you’d known when you started that you know now?

HM: I wish I had learned more about modeling contracts.

There are so many times when photographers have these ridiculous contracts that have nothing to do with the terms we’ve set for the photo shoot. (This usually occurs with self-employed photographers not affiliated with a larger company.)

I need to make sure that if the photographer says, "Don’t worry, I won’t sell these, they’re just for my portfolio/art gallery/display, etc" he gives me that in writing.

If a model signs a generic contract giving full rights to the photographer, there’s nothing s/he can do if the photographer goes against his word. When I started out, I trusted people’s word – now I don’t.

SS: What advice would you give to someone considering starting a career in nude modeling.

HM: I have three pieces of advice

1. Read your contracts carefully. Understand what the words mean, don’t be afraid to ask questions.
2. Don’t ever do anything you’re not comfortable with simply because you are offered a lot of money.
3. Understand that modeling is not forever. Unless you are blessed with a perfect body and can defy the aging process, sooner or later you’re not going to be able to do it anymore. Get an education and find something else in life you enjoy.

SS: Why did you choose to make your website free?

HM: I wanted a little corner of the internet where anybody could come and find out about me on a more personal level. Why would I want to charge people to do that?

There are enough paysites out there, I don’t need to have one too. Plus, modeling for me is VERY part time. If I ran a paysite I would spend the majority of my time running it and wouldn’t have the freedom to pursue my other dreams.

SS: What decision in your adult career do you wish you hadn’t made or could change now?

HM: I don’t have any regrets about any of the work I’ve done, but I wish I could have gotten away with just doing photos.

I don’t really like being videotaped, and I’m certainly not an actor. Posing for photos is one thing, being a personality on camera is way different.

SS: You mention being prepared to leave the industry. What’s your plan and when will it go into effect?

HM: I’m not going to wake up one day and decide that I no longer want to be a model, but there will come a time when it will no longer be appropriate for me to be posing nude.  My plan is to model part time as long as I feel comfortable in front of the camera (and as long as people want to see it!)

In the meantime I’m concentrating on pursuing a higher level of education and finding a career. Using my body/looks for money is great, but I ultimately want to make a living using my brain.

SS: Who do you think is the most influential/important person in the adult industry and why?

HM: The most influential person in the adult industry is you yourself.

Every person has their own idea about what is sexy, erotic, and beautiful, and nobody can influence you to be sexy in a way that you’re not. Sure they can put you in fancy makeup, the best clothes, and the most expensive lingerie, but you have to want the eroticism to show or else you’ll never be successful.

SS: Which piece of work are you most proud of and why?

HM: Anytime a photographer tells me the photos turned out wonderfully, or anytime a photographer expresses to me that I have done an amazing job, I feel like a million bucks. It’s always a great feeling when someone appreciates your efforts.

SS: What do you think is the biggest myth about the adult industry?

HM: That it degrades women. I feel that the adult industry allows women to use their sexual energy in a positive way while taking pride in their body.  Granted, there are some films that are just plain gross and probably do degrade women, but I think the vast majority of "mainstream pornography" is designed to make the woman the center of the all the action while at the same time being very glamorous and stylized.

SS: What’s surprised you most about working in the industry?

HM: How much confidence I’ve gained. I don’t have standard measurements, I don’t have huge boobs, and I’m not perfect, but modeling has given me such an amazing sense of self-satisfaction.

I take pride in my body and I don’t feel self-conscious around men. I’m not one of those girls who spends an hour in the bathroom fixing her lip gloss so that she can be "perfect."  Modeling has allowed me to just be happy with myself. It’s been such a positive factor in my life.

SS: What’s your plan for the next 12 months?

HM: The best way to keep track of me is to visit my personal website, haleyland.com.  There, you can keep track of the websites I model for, where I’m published, and you can read my diary entries to see what I’ve been up to.

It’s totally free and is a great way to get to know me on a more personal level. Plus, there’s tons of photos (both professional and personal).

SS: Thanks Haley.

Popularity: 23% [?]

Tiana Lynn

Tiana Lynn is a contract performer with Elegant Angel.

She’s taken the time to answer a few questions about her experiences in the adult industry for SugarBank readers. I’m flattered. Seriously.

SS: When did you first get involved in the adult industry?

TL: I first got involved when I was 18.

SS: What’s the story behind your porn name?

TL: Well I figured I wasn’t going to answer to anything like Becky or Michelle, so I picked something that sounds similar to my real name.

SS: What was your first experience in the industry like?

TL: I was told I had to do certain things, even if I didn’t enjoy them, or else I wouldn’t make it "big". I worked with guys with enormous cocks, bigger than I’d ever had in my pussy before, and they made me do anal and gangbangs which I’d never done. I was in and out of the doctor’s due to swelling, bleeding and rips. They told me I still had to work anyway.

I left the biz, and decided to gather myself, get my head together. When I came back I said, this is what I do enjoy doing, and this is what I’m prepared to do.

I’ll still do an occasional anal here and there, but only when my ass is hungry for cock.

SS: What do you know now that you wish you had known when you started?
TL: I know now to only shoot what I enjoy. My fans enjoy watching me get off for real, so there’s no faking it. Elegant Angel feel the same. We only shoot people doing what gets them off.

SS: How did your friends and relatives react to knowing you wor

TL: My friends and family know that I have made huge progress in my life, my self-growth and my happiness. They are happy for me, and pray for the best for me.

SS: What’s the best thing about the industry?

TL: There are so many more opportunities than just performing. If you sit back and observe, you can see all the little things that make this multi-billion dollar industry run.

Millions of people watch me to get off, and that gets me off!

SS: What’ the worst thing about the industry?

TL: The risks, but there are risks at any place you work.

It’s hard to differentiate between your friends and people just putting on a show. Some people truly care for your well-being and others just are fake. It’s a tough biz, and people have their guards up high.

SS: Where do you see yourself  in five years?

TL: I will definitely be off camera in five years and hopefully I’ll be dating. I like juggling my work life, and my home life, one at a time.

I see myself with my family here at Elegant (Angel), still making jerk-off creations as an editor, but who knows? I’m at an age and a place in my life where the opportunities are limitless.

SS: Who do you think is the most influential/important person in the adult industry and why?

TL: Jenna (Jameson), because she has shown how people can change their life if they stick to their guns and reach for their goals.

We have all lived very similar lives in this industry, but there’s always a chance to turn things around and be a star to someone – including ourselves.

SS: Which piece of work are you most proud of and why?

TL: ‘Cum Rain Cum Shine’ by Elegant Angel, because it took a whole week, it was my first staring role. I put a lot of time, thought, energy, dedication – and cum, into it.

SS: What in your adult career do you wish you hadn’t done?

TL: I don’t regret anything because every experience is a lesson.

I do wish I hadn’t got back into drugs when I got into the industry, I’m very ashamed of my work from back then. Now, when I’m having a bad day or a bad scene, I remember my worst scene sober, beats my best scene on drugs.

SS: What would you tell someone considering a career in the adult business?

TL: I would tell them there is absolutely nothing you have to do. Only do what makes you hot and horny. Do not do it for the money or it will show in your scenes. Do it because you love to fuck and suck, and you love it even more when it’s filmed. Go for it.

SS: What do you think is the biggest myth about the adult industry?

TL: The disease thing, to be honest I think we are some of the cleanest people having sex today.

SS: What’s surprised you most about working in the industry?

TL: How much work it takes, from each person in the production team, to shoot a movie.

SS: When and how do you plan to leave the industry?

TL: I plan to leave within two years, but you can never time these things.

I will leave with a belt of knowledge and skills. I’m learning a lot working full-time behind the scenes.

SS: What are you working on currently?

TL: I work full-time in the office of Elegant Angel, and I’m learning as much as I can about what makes this company what it is today. I want to be able to carry out any movie making related task given to me when I get out of contract and off camera.

On camera I am working on ‘Swallow my Squirt 2′, and soon ‘Supersquirt 2′.

SS: Thanks Tianna. Good luck.

Popularity: 37% [?]

Mandy Taylor.

SugarBank is a resource for people thinking of getting into the adult business as well as people who’ve already taken the plunge.

The problem with getting into porn is knowing where to start – and where to stop of course (That was unexpectedly deep… heavy, very heavy.)

The best way to find out if it’s right for you is to speak to people who’ve  been through the mill. Unfortunately most adult interviews are either pure titillation or pure hype.

I’ve asked a few people in the industry to talk about their experiences in, and thoughts about, the jizz bizz.

Honestly.

The first person to respond to my request for help, and therefore a hero you should all worship as a divinity, is Mandy Taylor.

Sam Sugar: Thanks for your time Mandy. Firstly who is Mandy Taylor, where’s she from and what should we know about her?

Mandy Taylor: Who am I? Probably what you least expect! I am from Chicago and it’s currently where I reside.

I am a very hard core gamer! And I don’t mean solitaire and Pogo.com! My game of the moment is an online multi-player role-playing game, World of Warcraft.

My list of gaming credentials includes Asheron’s Call, Asheron’s Call 2, Ultima Online, Star Wars Galaxies, EverQuest, EverQuest 2 and Shadowbane among many others. No one can tear me away from my games! In fact I’m marrying the hard core gamer of my dreams in August. You gotta be able to PVP (player vs. player) to marry me!

I am not the typical party girl that many porno girls are. I prefer to stay in and game, or watch DVDs in the comfort of my bed. Why waste the money to sit in a cold movie theater, in uncomfy chairs, when I could be in bed, without people talking, enjoying a smoke?

I am a very independent person and I can hold my own. My father taught me a lot about cars and I can fix just about anything, so I’m not stranded, staring at the jumper cables, wondering "What the fuck are these?"

SS: When did you first get involved in the adult industry?

MT: I first got involved in the industry at 19, after I moved in with my first boyfriend and realized men jack off! I was young had no fricken’ clue it was so common. His poison was webcam shows. I would sit and think… how perfect for those girls, they cum and get paid for it. It’s not fair!

So I "stalked" some girls online, grilling them about how to start doing it myself. Eventually I got offers from amateur sites.

SS: What’s the story behind your porn name?

MT: I started out doing some amateur stuff and picked a name at random. I started as Vanessa but when I worked for pantyhoseaddict.com and they decided I looked more like a Mandy. So I then I was Mandy, and I wanted a normal last name and, well… Taylor sounded cute!

SS: What was your first experience in the industry like?

MT: My first experience in the Pro industry, in California, was scary! I had a horrible suitcase pimp, James Dominic, whose specialty was making girls cry, threatening to break girls legs, and sending porno tapes home to their parents. He was very strict. He wouldn’t let me talk to other talent and made sure I knew nothing.

My first scene was a boy boy-girl-girl anal, double vaginal scene. I had no clue till I got there what I would be doing.

(NB: that means two men and Mandy in a scene that includes anal sex and simultaneous vaginal penetration from two men)

I had never done anal before. I didn’t even know how much I was getting paid.

I pretended to be sick because James would not let me fly back home. He went out to eat, I stayed in, and Leonard from Pretty Girl International (PGI) came to rescue me. I’m truly thankful for all their help. They kept me in-the-know and booked me (on) some jobs. (They also) returned me home safely.

SS: What do you know now that you wish you had known when you started?

MT: I wish I had more common sense when I first started. Maybe learned a bit more about the industry before heading out to LA. Now that I know the industry, I love it.

SS: How did your friends and relatives react to knowing you work in the industry?

MT: My dad is actually pretty cool with it. He thinks his little girl is going to be famous – HAHAHA, sure Dad!!!

My mom just shakes her head but understands I do what I wanna do.

Everyone else thinks it kicks ass!

SS: What’s the best thing about the industry?

MT: All the traveling I get to do. I have been to 34 states, mostly by plane, but I love those long road trips with my model friends.

SS: What’ the worst thing about the industry?

MT: The lack of information available to the new girls. AIM Health Care Foundation has a tape that everyone gets when they enter the industry and tests (with) them. At least they’re trying to educate people.

And, of course, all those damned suitcase pimps!

SS: Where do you see yourself in five years?

MT: I don’t see my self in front of the camera. I am starting to do more behind the scenes now and have started a fetish business with my friend Jeff.

We’re shooting content and getting ready for our site opening. It’s very exciting! I also help find other girls work in the Midwest, and help girls starting in the business. I make sure they don’t do the same twity things I did.

SS: Who do you think is the most influential/important person in the adult industry and why?

MT: I would have to say Shane, Beth and Leonard at PGI. They were so kind to me and showed me a different side of the industry. Whenever I am at their house it feels like a home away from home!

SS: Which piece of work are you most proud of and why?

MT: Tough choice. Either ‘Babydoll BodyGuards’ – because my ass looks rocking as I am walking up the stairs in my cop uniform, or American Bukkake 24 simply because… 59 loads!!!

My favorite shoot was MouthMeat 2. Insane. I love the crazy stuff.

SS: What in your adult career do you wish you hadn’t done?

MT: Hmmm…. I wish… Oh hell I don’t know… I never took a job I didn’t feel comfy doing.

SS: What would you tell someone considering a career in the adult business?

MT: STDS! STDS! No one wants to tell you that half the people in porn have herpes. No one tells you that your 90% likely to get an STD in the first couple of weeks (laughing).

Be sure you know what your doing, and know the reality of being in porn. It’s not all pretty. Giving yourself an enema before every anal scene – which could mean 3-5 times a week… IS NOT FUN! (laughing). It’s not all glam.

SS: What do you think is the biggest myth about the adult industry?

MT: That it’s all so easy and perfect. Like I said before. It’s not glam, and if you’re in the industry count on catching something at some point in time! I don’t know how many times I am sitting down talking to porn whores and hearing what itches and what antibiotics they had to take.

SS: What’s surprised you most about working in the industry?

MT: People are twisted. But twisted is good for sex (laughs). JM Productions… Gotta love those men!

SS: When and how do you plan to leave the industry?

MT: I have already stopped doing most Pro work. I am working on a new business as I stated earlier (crosses fingers).

If all else fails – back to school!

SS: What are you working on currently?

MT: I am working on www.mandyxxxtaylor.com and www.headscizzor.com

MandyXXXTaylor is for the webcam shows I do. I have always done cam shows and have no plans to quit.

HeadScizzor is my new business venture.

I am learning how to build websites – you should have seen them when I first started. Horrible! I am getting better and am actually learning new stuff. Trial and error right?

SS: Right, trial and error works for me. Thanks Mandy.

Popularity: 20% [?]

5… 4… 3… 2… 1… GO!

Before you consider hiring a consultant, think about spending that money on a prostitute instead. Consultants and hookers are almost indistinguishable when thought about rationally.

1. They get paid by the hour.
2. They work from home, frequently half naked.
3. Expect to hear the sound of crying children if you call them unexpectedly.
4. They only take a shower if they are going to a meeting.
5. They never stop trying to persuade you to pay for extra services.
6. Cheap ones wear too much scent.
7. You’ll believe the expensive ones actually care about you.
8. How much they get paid depends on the quality of their presentation.
9. They all secretly want to settle down when the right opportunity arrives.
10. Whatever the size of your project they’ll swear they’ve seen bigger.

So what’s the difference?

A hooker makes a happy ending their responsibility, an MBA makes it yours.

That’s why this blog exists. I’m a recovering $400 an hour professional who would rather be a prostitute than a consultant. By giving my advice away I can ensure that the only thing you could possibly waste here is a little time.

I worked in the mainstream for many years before hesitantly moving into the world of pornography in the late nineties when it represented the bleeding edge of internet technology.

Things have changed since then. The adult market is suffering from a lack of new ideas, and more people than ever are interested in the bizz we call jizz.

This blog will:

1. Provide free consulting, ideas and advice to anyone who has, or is think of setting up, an adult (or digital media based) website.
2. Attempt to give some insight into the business side of a misunderstood multi-billion dollar industry and where it’s heading.
3. Explain how the website I’m developing will make the internet easier, cheaper and more profitable for producers and consumers of adult material.

This blog will not:

• Catalogue the health of my pets (none), what I like to watch on TV (The West Wing, Family Guy and Alias) or my drunken attempts to bed Eastern European models (too infrequent and depressing to mention).
• Include pictures of me or anyone/thing I’m in an intimate relationship with (unless it’s got a plug on it).
• Contain much actual pornography.

I also promise not to forget that bad blogs are what happens when you give a monkey a megaphone, or that the internet is the result of a typewriter having sex with a TV and a CB radio.

In short this blog will be ‘Business, never personal’ to quote the great EPMD.

Please add my feed to your reader and look for the first real post tomorrow. Email me if you want to say hi.

Popularity: 30% [?]