With a product named like a horror movie and a business model based on humiliation and control there’s some irony involved in the ‘could it be real?’ porn dissuader Covenant Eyes.
The idea is that by installing their spyware, your visits to adult sites are logged and sent to you boss/relative/co-workers who can then judge you, visit the porn you worked so hard to find and/or report you to the authorities.
The product comes with strong religious overtones because as we all know, religious people are the least likely to enjoy porn and the most likely to be involved in the systematic sexual abuse of children. Yeah, I feel totally comfortable being judged by them and I spread my legs wide when in bathroom stalls because it helps me ease my pants down. Hey, is that a unicorn!
Any religious group dumb enough to believe Joseph Smith found a gospel which states black people were cursed by the devil can’t have been expected to understand the nuanced satire of Orgazmo, or to fully grasp the bare-torsos + buff zealots = homo wank fantasy equation.
It’s the only way to explain this. Seldom has irrational belief in dead Jews with magic powers coupled to fear of brown people ever looked so much like gay porn.
A Christian Domestic Discipline marriage is one that is set up according to Biblical standards; that is, the husband is the authority in the household. The wife is submissive to her husband as is fit in the Lord and her husband loves her as himself. He has the ultimate authority in his household, but it is tempered with the knowledge that he must answer to God for his actions and decisions. He has the authority to spank his wife for punishment, but in real CDD marriages this is taken very seriously and usually happens only rarely. CDD is so much more than just spanking. It is the husband loving the wife enough to guide and teach her, and the wife loving the husband enough to follow his leadership. A Christian marriage embodies true romance and a Christian man a true hero.
A cynic might say telling a woman she exists to cook, fuck and get spanked in the service of God – who on earth is conveniently delegating all discipline and pleasure to her husband – could be perverted by crazy people with less than Godly intentions. How the hell do these guys pull this off? I once told a date I was getting text-messages from the Thundercats telling me to chain her to the bed and give her a rum and coke enema and she called the police. Maybe I should have invested in some crotchless pantaloons and set the mood properly?
(If you find and CDD porn you know where to send it)
Read cold the bible reads like the kind of script Max Hardcore would reject on grounds of taste. Browsing The Brick Testamant offers up all the rape, incest and prostitution any deviant could desire. I’d focus on the old testament, angry God was more fun than hippy jesus.
I know this isn’t supposed to be arousing but what’s a guy to do faced with such wanton hairless blockiness?
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