Internext Florida, which I didn’t get to this year, had at least one panel I would have liked to attend. ‘Good vs. Evil’ brought together Homegrown Video’s Spike Goldberg, Club Jenna’s Jay ‘Mr. Jenna Jameson’ Grdina, Theresa Reed (aka DarkLady) and Max Hardcore to discuss the role of ‘extreme’ porn and its effect on the industry.

According to AVN’s report, Hardcore didn’t say much – a pity, as he’s a lightning rod in this debate making his opinions particularly worth hearing. Amongst the usual discussion of consent, government intervention and the line between art and entertainment, was a comment which struck me by Halcyon of ‘FleshCash’ ‘FlashCash’:

“The first time I saw BDSM porn, it made me feel OK, because that is the kind of sex I like to have in my real sex life, not just on film. It made me feel that I wasn’t a freak to want that.”

Halcyon makes it clear that while most people see porn as pure entertainment, a minority use it to vindicate their ideas, making any judgement against the porn they like a comment on their lifestyle. If we take steps to limit what’s done on video, Halcyon sees her his private life as next inline for censorship. It’s a trap for the industry that pornographers are complicit in building.

Hollywood is allowed to portray anything it can imagine as long as performers are protected. If we need an actor in a movie to drink a bottle of vodka we replace the alcohol with water and ask them to act. Porn’s reluctance to embrace simulation, ironically in an industry where orgasms, pleasure and names are all routinely faked, makes the debate about extreme porn a referendum on people’s personal predilections. We should be able to take risks in our own lives which we don’t tolerate being forced on the people who entertain us.

Without unnecessary risk, the debate about extreme porn becomes one simply of sexual freedom. If porn producers could agree to simulate danger instead of expose performers to it, we could all support extreme porn as art instead of exploitation and the warnings on DVDs would explain that dangerous acts have been simulated, not merely consented to under duress.

Popularity: 34% [?]

The stories about the Neanderthal frat-boy founder of Girls Gone Wild, Joe Francis, started about a week after his first infomercial hit TV, but he’s never got as intense a dose of bad publicity as his recent LA Times profile.

Writer Claire Hoffman portrays him as a violent, egomaniac and rapist in an article which should be required reading in any course on ‘Bad Publicity’. It’s a public-relations disaster, sure to be quoted in every court-case he’s involved with including the one that inevitably leaves him broke and paraphrasing himself during his own home-invasion.

“My name is Joe Francis, I’m from Boys Gone Wild, and I like it up the ass.”

If allegations he’s a pedophile hold water, becoming another prisoner’s girlfriend will be something he can look forward to given what else will be in store for him.

The problem for porn is that Joe Francis, whose private life makes your average Max Hardcore DVD look like an episode of ‘The Electric Company’, is a story at all.

Francis has carefully cultivated a myth in which he’s a ‘marketing genius’ and ‘the next Hugh Hefner’ which the mainstream media continue to believe because either they don’t know enough about porn to tell good from bad, or are too scared to admit there’s any ‘good’ to discuss.

Hefner built an archive of timeless content he started by publishing nudes pictures of Marilyn Monroe the entire world wanted to see. When people saw Playboy they subscribed to it and told their friends. Playboy’s greatest asset is content.

Girls Gone Wild videos are poorly produced, unscripted amateur porn with little long-term value sold via a pre-internet business model. The people who experience Girls Gone Wild are generally unimpressed and its success is impossible without continual massive advertising.

So why is Joe Francis so rich?

The brilliance behind Girls Gone Wild is the original idea. Not drunk girls taking their tops off (sorry – “Going wild!”), but TV ads tailored to a late-night (read drunk, male and lonely) audience.

The realization sex would sell better in the traditionally dead 11:00 – 5:00 a.m. time-slot than kitchen equipment was revolutionary because TV ads are subject to natural selection. Successful infomercials pay for their airtime by offering the stations which broadcast them a share of their takings. When Girls Gone Wild arrived, in a world dominated by exercise equipment and grilling machines, it made vast profits and was able to buy up as much airtime as stations had to offer. Getting airtime on credit and pay ing for it later Girls Gone Wild quickly took over cable by buying millions of dollars or airtime without spending cash up front.

So while he does everything he can to erase reasonable doubt from the mind of any US juror who’s ever read a newspaper, it’s worth remembering the real story behind Girls Gone Wild is one of a smart media buyer – not celebutard, egomaniac, cretin Joe Francis.

Popularity: 33% [?]

“If you can get 900 – 1,100 pieces out the door on a new release, you should go to your church and thank God. If you can get $10-$12 per release, you should go back to church and thank God.” – Greg Zeboray

Any observer of the adult market can tell there’s something wrong. I’d rather watch Rosie O’Donnell’s home movies than anything produced by Max Hardcore or Kahn Tusion and at least their work holds a morbid why-would-you-do-that fascination. Those who do enjoy their work should be locked up and the worst offenders, deserve nothing less than a starring role in their heroes next production. Most porn’s simply too boring to get aroused for, and ever greater choice means nothing when everything on offer looks the same.

Producers know that sales of DVD’s are dropping, websites are stagnating and what used to work, specifically making claims about content extravagant enough to be fraud and then hoping no one notices, doesn’t anymore.

Even in an industry where people who’ve read ‘The Da Vinci Code’ are considered intellectual, the lack of new ideas is surprising. The elephant in the room starved to death waiting to be noticed, and now, the people who pretended not to see it are asking each other ‘What’s that smell?’ It’s the elephant of change my friends (and I believe ‘Elephant of Change’ is a Scorpions tune).

In the 70s, at the birth of the modern porn industry, there was one type of porn and it was a movie, shot on film, paid for and distributed by the New York mafia and starring actors and models so high they thought ejaculation was acting and semen on the face was being legitimately modeled.

It was expensive. The whole process was illegal and, as even the mafia couldn’t afford to kill everyone involved with each production, everything took place in secret using people who were being paid danger money under the threat of arrest. You couldn’t get a movie called ‘Cum on my Tattoo’ made in 1975. People would have pointed out that tattoos fit sailors better than pretty women, that cum isn’t spelt like that, and that a title isn’t a script.

The difficulties made people care. Scripts were written and performers, laboring under the illusion they would be out of porn and in the mainstream six months hence, learned their lines and tried to act. Lighting meant more than a camera mounted ‘Sun Gun’ and the C in C-light didn’t stand for something Anglo-Saxon.

As video took over things got cheaper and while the business got more professional, the work began to suffer. In the early nineties it was legal to shoot hardcore sex in California, and the money being made from video sales made riches from the days of sticky-seats in damp theatres look like poverty. Women who hadn’t been through foster care, a cult or childhood abuse were beginning to consider taking their clothes off for money and Vivid invented the ‘contract star’ adding a glamour to being a performer it probably didn’t deserve. The genius of Ed Powers and Buttman, who between them originated the man, cam and creamy ham genre of porn verite we now call gonzo, was embraced more for it’s cheapness than it’s artistic novelty.

Suddenly everyone was making scud movies. Gonzo made the idea of making a porn movie a move quaint overnight. Under gonzo rules any noun-adjective combination capable of offending a priest was a title, the title was the script and every successful title spawned a series. You got extra points for alliteration. Pornographers were making the kind of money Halliburton kills for and just past the midpoint of the decade, DVDs crystal-clear freeze-frame and the work of Jenna Jameson combined to make the new format the biggest hit in consumer electronics history.

Quietly people started launching websites and then very noisily many of them became extremely rich. The adult movie industry took a deep breath, saw that late nineties technology was only able to deliver video that looked like the work of a furiously painting cat, and kept on churning out the gonzo.

Insert a decade where new websites appear daily and videos about as fast and we arrive at the present day. Video sales are tanking. The movie companies scratch their heads, blame the internet and talk about copy protection. Like General Motors who invested everything in SUV’s they didn’t think would ever stop selling the movie producers plan for the future was ‘More of the same’. As in the mainstream the first reaction to consumers using new technology in unexpected way is to cry ‘Foul Play’ and then to try and legislate and prosecute people back into the ‘More of the same’ game plan.

The web, which they’ve thus far seen as an addition to their almost profitless business of shipping polycarbonate an taking returns is now capable of offering consumers lower prices, and producers more profit, than they’ve ever dreamed possible. Wicked, Vivid and Digital Playground could be making $15 on a $20 sale but in order to grab the digital distribution model they have to let go of DVD’s (or at least put them aside leaving space for something else). It’s like asking a paranoid toddler to give you their toy in exchange for the better one in your hands. They’re unhappy they don’t have it but refuse to understand they can’t carry both.

Maybe in a month or two, when Steve Jobs rolls out Apple’s online movie store, porn valley may wake up. But if the movie industry’s succeeded in imposing an unworkable model on Apple (and they’ve been trying – they’re desperate to fail), it might be the wrong example. No one’s going to pay for a downloadable movie they can’t copy or lend to a friend like a DVD costing exactly the same amount.

The web’s in trouble too. For years sales in adult have been stagnant. New buyers aren’t being brought in as fast as new sites are launching and, with everyone competing on a subscription model costing buyers from $120-$360 a year per site, most buyers join a site, download all the content, and then move on to the next one. What looks like progress is just standing still and the constant churn in memberships is a fault of the model, not the content.

The upshot is this. What were once two businesses, a video business on DVD and a photo business on the web, are now becoming one. The web can do video, photos and text. DVD can only do video. It’s obvious which will yield and besides – the answer to ever media question is ‘The internet’ and this one’s no different.

While Sony delay the release of Blu-Ray discs people become more comfortable with getting their video off the web. The quality can be as high as your prepared to wait for and no one needs to know that you get aroused watching women pop balloons with their bottom.

The content, not the format is the business. Success will come via positive feedback and great ideas. The playing field will be level, every producer will be able to talk to every customer and nothing will ever go out of stock. While many people would never walk into a porn store, no one’s embarrassed to visit a URL and while producers today consider making $15,000 on a two-hour DVD a coup, online they’ll be able to make $50,000 on a 20 min clip. In a month.

With no incentive to release product people aren’t excited about and immediate feedback, no one will be fooled by the pictures on the box (there is no box). People will be free to innovate and the old guarantee that a a decent box and a cute girl on the cover will sell enough to cover costs will no longer hold true. Online reputation is everything and, able to communicate freely and anonymously cowardly perverts will be happy to expound on the failings of their chosen masturbatory material.

The key to this is a system for making this rather obvious, pretty wonderful, future happen is the right technology and website. A place where this content lives and can be accessed by anyone, at any time, secure in the knowledge their financial information’s safe and their bits will arrive. It’s an idea I’ve been working on for the past 3 years, the reason I started blogging in the first place and worth a couple of hundred million dollars a year according to people who’ve seen the business plan.

If you’re looking for porn with better content, better technical quality and at better prices – I’m working to deliver it to you (and make myself rich enough to use supermodels as footstools but that’s not important right now)

If you want to own a piece of the future (and be 5-35% as rich as me) – you know where to find me. The difference between launching this project in 2006 and launching it in 2007 is about enough cash to buy a crappy house in a good neighborhood. I’m not a patient man.

Popularity: 35% [?]

Audiophiles, those who think spending $200 on a mains cable will improve Ringo Starr’s drumming, have been getting vocal about ‘limiting’ recently.

The Podcasters among you might use limiting already. It’s a destructive way of making audio sound louder which works by raising the average volume of a sound by reducing the contrast between the loud and quiet passages. Its use is why TV ads seem louder than the programs they’re in, and why listening to music recorded in the last decade can be so tiring (computers have made limiting very effective) – without the differences in volume which are part of live performance our senses are beaten into submission and the initially exciting loudness turns us off. Audiophiles rightly complain that modern music is hard to listen to and wastes the scope for loud and quiet (dynamic range) which digital audio makes possible.

I think pornographers are over-using limiting too.

The oft commented on porn ‘arms race’ is typically blamed by those involved in it on bored consumers. It seems equally plausible that the reason viewers have tired of ‘routine’ sex is the lack of skill in its presentation. If you want people to notice your Matisse you don’t hang a Picasso on each side of it. If you want people to thrill at your nudity, you have to undress slowly enough to tease.

Pornographers, who pile sex-scene on sex-scene have removed the thrill of nudity, the excitement of a hand over a clothed breast, the tingle of a hiked skirt. Unable to raise even eyebrows with foreplay and innuendo they lock focus on someone’s large intestine and shock us into watching how much fits in. Carmina Burana is exciting because it builds and the action scenes in Heat stand out because they’re surrounded by hours of talking. If graphic sex is porn’s ‘action’ there must be a better way of building to it than the cheesball narrative and dodgy action of most ‘features’

Perhaps the answer to ‘where can porn go from here’ – when here includes Max Hardcore forcing performers to vomit on his genitals – is backwards. Less explicit, less raw, less intense and more sexy. Perhaps the key to making a porn movie sexy all the way through is less actual sex.

Popularity: 41% [?]

Why are people making movies like Donkey Punch (pictured)?

Fact 1 – All pornographic movies are made with profit in mind. The all-time top sellers from Adult DVD Empire (one of the largest online adult movie stores) are:

1. Flashpoint
2. Award Winning Sex Scenes
3. Island Fever
4. All Star
5. Dream Quest
6. Island Fever 3
7. Virtual Sex with Jenna
8. All Time Best Teen
9. Brianna Loves Jenna
10. Virtual Sex with Tera Patrick

The list is comprised of movies which are notably free of degredation or violence – consensual or otherwise. If we were to throw in other known top-sellers (Comstock movies, 1 Night in Paris, Pam and Tommy, Deep Throat) the observation regarding tone stands.

Fact 2 – (courtesy of Wikipedia)

Donkey punch is a slang term for a sex move performed during doggy style or anal sex. The move involves the penetrating partner punching the penetrated partner in the back of the head or neck. The term may refer to the surprised party “bucking” like a donkey.

The practice of hitting one’s partner for sexual enjoyment is familiar (see Sadism and Masochism), but in the various joke-descriptions of the donkey punch more exotic rationales are often given for it. For example, sometimes it is said to cause the muscles around the vagina or anus to contract around the penis, giving enhanced pleasure to the active partner. In some exaggerated tellings this phenomenon is of such great force as to result in the inversion of the rectum (which may then be described as a “pink sock”). Sometimes the active partner is said to punctuate the technique with a victorious cry of “Donkey punch!”

In reality, punching someone in the back of the head (rabbit punching) can damage the brain stem, causing death or permanent injury. It is illegal in professional boxing for this reason. The donkey punch may also be prosecutable as assault or sexual assault, in some jurisdictions even if consent is given.

Fact 1 tells us that every dollar spent by the producers of violent pornography could be invested more profitably by adopting a softer tone. Fact 2 tells us that some scenes are either genuinely dangerous to the performers involved or suggest that potentially deadly activities (donkey punches, ‘erotic’ axphixiation etc.) are safe.

Thirty years ago ‘The Devil in Miss Jones’ contained scenes of oral, anal and vaginal sex. With only a handful of stunts most people don’t want to try at home added to that in the past decade, every sane sex act is already on film. Have some producers turned to violence as the only area in which they can break new ground?

Here’s a quote from Max Hardcore’s website:

“Hairless Hillary just wants a friend, but I fuck her face so hard she pukes out her nose! Then I jack my rod in her ass & blast her throat with goo!”

The accompanying clip shows Hilary crying, gaging, puking and drinking urine from her rectum via a clear tube while being called a dirty whore. Are we watching a scene from a violent sex movie, or a scene from a movie about violence with some sex in it?

If there’s reason to draw a line between violent movies and sex movies, should we be drawing it now? If not is there anything that we shouldn’t allow others to package as entertainment? When violence, fear, implied lack of consent and sex are rolled together how do we counter accusations of fetishizing rape? How comfortable are you with the crying edge of pornography? How comfortable do you think you’ll need to be?

Between 1992 and 2004 the only procecutions for obscenity within the US were brought in conjunction with child pornography, and the porn industry (particularly online) has become overconfident. With the government having publically declared that obscenity is a priority, should the adult industry distance itself from the excesses of ‘porn’ to ensure its survival and the well-being of performers?

Popularity: 44% [?]

Written by men, dictated by God.

The jizz bizz, like any industry, has it’s own slang and references. They can be confusing to outsiders. For example, during a refreshment break on an adult movie set, only someone with no experience of the porn world would ask Ron Jeremy to put some cream in their coffee.

To ease people’s entry to the world of smut I’ve started compiling an encyclopedia of common terms – The Encyclopedia Pornographia. To ease people’s entry in more general terms I suggest KY jelly, butter or – in a pinch – 10w30 (10w40 between November and March).

The Encyclopedia is aimed at people interested in working in the jizz bizz, so I’ve left out porn information which is of more interest to fans. I’m not including anything which I don’t think is directly relevant to porn, so don’t look for non-porn specific definitions either.

Have I missed something? Tell me. Think I’ve made a mistake? Start your own blog if you’re so fucking clever.

I’ll update this in response to requests or whenever I feel it’s necessary.

0-9

2257 – Shorthand for the laws regarding the production of pornography in the US . Often used in reference to the specific requirements placed on adult websites. Not complying with 2257 regulations will land you in jail.

A

A2M – Ass-to-mouth. Depictions of men receiving fellatio immediately following unprotected anal sex from the woman they were sodomizing. Ingesting rectal bacteria is potentially highly dangerous. Definitely a second date move.

A2OGM – Ass-to-other-girls-mouth. Depictions of men receiving fellatio, immediately following unprotected anal sex, from a woman who isn’t the one they were sodomizing. Potentially dangerous (see A2M). Performed by Tom Hanks during the ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ DVD out-takes.

AIDS – The disease most often cited as a risk of working in hardcore pornography. Most performers are tested every 30 days using a PCR-DNA test. HIV tests are not mandated by law, but performers in the US are expected to be tested and arrive for work with current test data. AIM healthcare will confirm a clean bill of health for a performer if asked.

AIM Healthcare – Adult Industry Medical. Medical facility run by ex-performer Dr. Sharon Mitchell. Performs the vast majority of the mandatory STD screening performers need in order to work in the jizz bizz. AIM offers counseling to performers and warns the industry of disease outbreaks.

Anal – Anal sex. A standard part of porn movies. Female performers stop eating 12-8 hours before an anal scene and give themselves repeated enemas to create the illusion of a soot-free tailpipe.

AVN – Adult Video News (www.avn.com), the main trade publication of the porn industry. Free subscriptions available to qualified individuals. Can be purchased at some news stands and in sex shops.

AVN Awards – The Oscars of US Porn. Held in Vegas each January. Ironically AVN Awards are harder to use as sex toys than Oscars.

AVN Online – Adult Video News the magazine and website that takes a monthly look at the online adult market

B

B/G – A sex scene involving a man and a woman.

Bi – Bisexual. Only used to describe scenes in which men are bisexual. There is unwarranted stigma attached to women who perform with bisexual men (i.e. in films which contain male-homosexual and straight content together).

Boy – A male performer, regardless of his age.

C

Condom only – Studios who insist on using condoms during sex scenes. What I pack for a weekend out of town.

Content – The video, photos, text or other which comprise ‘porn’.

Couples friendly – Phrase used to identify porn which couples (i.e. women) are expected to enjoy. This often means soft focus, sub Kenny G muzak and pointless melodrama.

Crack Whore Magazine – Fictional publication featured in South Park, has Cartman’s mom on the cover.

Cum – Also known as man fat, baby gravy, liquid silk, cock vomit, the juice, milky goodness, the breakfast of champions or semen. Latin word meaning "with".

D

Danni Ashe – The most downloaded women on the Internet. Her sucess with the adult website she launched in 1996 has become the model which porn stars, strippers and models follow online.

Dong – What the people who make them call a dildo. Seriously.

F

Free Speech Coalition (FSC) – Adult industry lobbying group. Fights punitive legislation, defends performers and offers a public ‘face’ for the industry. The animated flag on their website is cheesy.

G

G/G – A sex scene involving two women.

Gape – Term used to describe video footage of a wide open rectum. More tea vicar?

Gay – Refers only to male homosexuality. Lesbianism and female bisexuality are expected of women and not usually specified. Small open-top cars and iPod mini’s are also gay.

Girl - A female performer, regardless of her age, number of grandchildren etc.

Gush, The – A fictional condition afflicting male performers invented by Chris Morris. When ‘the gush’ strikes men can’t stop ejaculating – "…first white, then black, then death."

H

Hardcore – Porn that includes scenes of sex taking place (simulations of sex don’t count). A pretty depressing 1979 movie about the sex industry starring George C. Scott and directed by Paul Schrader. 

Hot Body – Worlds #2 producer of softcore adult content after Playboy. If you want to work in the softcore market and don’t want to work for Playboy, or want more money than they pay, these are the guys to contact.

Hitachi Magic Wand – World’s finest vibrator and controversial Harry Potter product placement. Gluing a credit card to one makes men totally redundant.

I

InterNext – Bi-annual adult website industry trade-show. Takes place in Vegas, Nevada in January, and in Hollywood , Florida in August.

Interracial – Scenes in which black and white people have sex with each other. White/Asian sex is not always categorized as interracial but Black/White sex always is. Black/Asian sex is good – real good.

J

Jenna Jameson – Arguably the worlds most famous porn star, certainly the richest. The only real ’star’. Came to fame at Wicked Pictures under the tutelage of Joy King and Steve Orenstein. Now runs a number of porn related business’ and websites. Is partnered with Vivid for distribution. Looks good as a brunette.

Jesus – Invented sex, hates fucking apparently. A confusing message we all struggle with.

Jesus juice – Wine, as administered to minors by Michael Jackson who is not a paedophile in the eyes of the law. Jesus juice (not Jesus) is responsible for the content on 90% of amateur porn sites.

K

Kyla Cole – Gorgeous Czech model. An example of how beautiful the best softcore models are/need to be. Can out drink the lot of you.

M

Max Hardcore – Has defined the ‘edge’ of hardcore porn for over ten years. Sexual pioneer? Violent misogynist? Watch his movies before taking any job offer, the man does not yell cut when he needs a bathroom break. Available for Weddings and Bar Mitzvah’s

P

Playboy – The pornographic magazine founded by Hugh Hefner. The most popular men’s magazine in the US, it still outsells Sports Illustrated. The closest thing the porn industry has to a ‘respectable’ face.

Porn Character Actor – Does not exist.

Porn Star – Used by civilians to describe talent/performers.

PPV – Pay-per-view. See VOD

Private – World’s second largest producer of hardcore adult movies. Based in Europe and known for explicit movies starring beautiful people.

R

Ron Jeremy – Arguably more famous than Jenna. Big enough to self fellate. Loved by many, mocked by all, universally liked. The only male porn star straight guys can claim to like without being considered a bit fruity.

S

Scene – A filmed sex act. Porn movies are made up of ’scenes’ and adult movie performers are paid per  scene.

Sharon Mitchell, Dr. – founder of AIM Healthcare, ex-performer and ex-heroin addict. Smart and saintly in her devotion to performer welfare. Has a pet parrot.

Softcore – Porn which does not include sex scenes involving more than one person, or in which the sex is simulated. The kind of porn David Duchovny starred in before he got the lead in the X-Files.

Solo – Porn featuring only one performer. Pilot of the Millenium Falcon, likes Wookies.

Suitcase Pimp – Derogatory term used to describe a man who lives off his performer girlfriend or wife. Apocryphally they show up to jobs with a suitcase and their ‘girl’ hence the phrase.

T

Talent – A performer. May have no talent.

TFP – Trade-For-Pics. When a photographer shoots a model and, instead of paying her cash, gives her rights to re-sell the images on her website or elsewhere.

V

Vivid Entertainment Group – Worlds largest producer of hardcore adult movies. Operates a ‘condom only’ policy.

VOD – Video on demand. Traditionally referred to selling movies via cable systems. Increasingly used to refer to movies downloaded online.

W

Wicked Pictures – The company that gave the world Jenna Jameson. Operates a ‘condom only’ policy.

World Modeling – Jim South’s porn modeling agency. The big one. 4524 Van Nuys Boulevard , Los Angeles , CA .

Y

Your mothers got a penis – Derogotary remark common at SugarBank HQ.

Popularity: 23% [?]