Jenna Jameson has 1 million friends on her MySpace page, redefines viral marketing…

Naomi struggles to endure her appearance in ‘Gang Bang Volume 5′, world struggles to watch?

Kira Eggers has published a book.

In Danish.

Let’s hope it has pictures.

Not getting laid enough in reality? Now you can not get laid online too as Red Light District launch Red Light Center, which sounds nothing like, but actually is, ‘World of Fuck Craft’.

Stormy Daniels has a recurring role in FX show ‘Dirt’ and according to Mike South’s year end awards she’s:

“…hat, smart and talented.”

You can’t argue with that sort of versatility.

Adam and Eve have sold $1M of porn in a week. Listen close enough and you can hear the audit coming…

Kirsten Price starts ‘status bodyguard‘ trend at January’s AVN’s

Popularity: 32% [?]

It’s time to return to an occasional series I’ve subtitled ‘Doing it so you don’t have to’ – this time round inspired by Fox ‘reality’ show ‘My Bare Lady’.

I don’t like TV much and I abhor Rupert Murdoch so watching his take on porn isn’t high on my list of priorities, but when iTunes offered me the first episode of ‘My Bare Lady’ for free, I decided to take a peek.

The set-up is simple (because it’s reality TV – not entertainment for Nobel laureates). Every reality show is a version of the Stanford Prison Experiment, dumbed down till people who think ‘24′ is a realistic look at the struggle against terrorism can understand it. This one takes four porn stars performers and gives them three weeks to become classically trained actors.

Three weeks isn’t enough of course. In London it takes about three years to be considered barely adequate, but suits a reality show packed with dramatic failures followed by a pat happy ending. The title, a riff on ‘My Fair Lady’ which was itself a take on ‘Pygmalion’, makes the premise clear – these sluts are going to be saved by honest theatrical work. A parable filmed for the congregation of Wal-Mart.

The first, free, show covers the selection process and Fox scores points immediately. I’d expected a group of actresses who’d been topless on Cinemax pretending to be in porn in return for shot at a staring role on a major network show. Instead we get real pornsters. A coked out Mary Carey (that might be unfair – real alcoholics have no speed control and her rambling might just be the Red Bull leaving her system), a functionally illiterate Sunset Thomas and Gia Paloma – who you don’t instantly know is a tranny only if you’ve never seen a six foot woman with an adams apple, no hips and hands like spades before.

The show then humiliates them by making them fake orgasms and takes great pleasure in showing off the clear heels, mini-skirts and hair extensions they’ve all worn to a Shakespearean audition. All of this is accompanied by bow-chika-bow-wow music in case you’ve forgotten what these ladies do for money.

Sunset Thomas tells us she thinks Shakespeare’s a woman and we’re given glimpses of the wannabe thespians ‘esteemed director’ who turns out to be Christopher Biggins – a fat Brit who does a lot of light-comedy on the BBC. Fair enough, compared to Michael Ninn, Christopher Biggins is Shakespeare.

After much more bad acting (Spoiler Warning) Sasha Knox, Kiersten Price, Chanel St. James, Nautica Thorn make the cut and fly to London. We’re given a chance to laugh at Chanel’s Beverly Hillbillies lifestyle – pink luggage wrapped in clear plastic? 100% class – and encouraged to root for Sasha Knox as the-girl-next-door (who your dad might be banging). Then the troop arrive in London, the catfights start, and the show devolves into ‘The Real World (fucking) London.’ Enjoy.

It’s fun to see Fox forgetting to obscure ‘Wicked’ and ‘Club Jenna’ logos, and sad to see another show limit its view of porn to a pre-1995 world when video was king. If they’d gone after web-based performers they would have gathered a smarter bunch of people less easily portrayed as victims. You can’t cast a show like that by phoning Club Jenna’s PR though.

Will ‘My Bare Lady’ feels be a hit? Not if watching pornsters not doing porn is as boring as watching athletes not doing sport is, and not if women who look best digitized cease to remain desirable when all the plastic’s on display (Chanel St. James looks almost animatronic). On the other hand it’s cheap TV, it’s packed with almost explicit shots from porn sets, and Fox can riff on it till the end of time (‘My Bare Lady 2′, ‘My Bare Lady: First Night’, ‘My Bare Lady: Loves Flava Flav’…)

Worth watching if only to demonstrate why being in porn, being famous and crossing over are all still such different things.

Popularity: 39% [?]