A look back at do-it-yourself exhibitionism.
August 3rd, 2006 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: July 3rd, 2007
Assuming the dictionary’s correct and an amateur is:
A person who engages in a pursuit, esp. a sport, on an unpaid basis. A person considered contemptibly inept at a particular activity.
What is amateur porn?
The first adult websites, excluding Playboy which started in 1994 when most people thought the web was a band, grew out of the exhibitionist and swingers scene that dominated sex-themed newsgroups.
Today, most people only know newsgroups via services like SkinVideo, but back in the early nineties, when I upgraded to a 28.8K modem and paid $4,000 for a 2GB disk-drive the size of a shoebox, the only way to get images online was to download small files from newsgroups and stitch them together for display on-screen. The difficulty of the process meant that only scientists and perverts bothered. Swingers and strippers, who had a history of being nude in public, flocked to it, and stocked the net with free porn.
When the web made downloading images from the internet simple, pioneering newsgroup exhibitionists started websites, and the majority of people, who to this day think the web and the internet are the same thing, discovered the joys of looking at OPP (‘Other People’s Partners’ – if you’re not a ‘Naughty By Nature’ fan). On the web clicking on links called things like ‘wfsuck_1.jpg’ placed you a minute from staring at a badly dithered, 300 pixel square, 256-color explosion of amateur hardcore. It was revolutionary. Seconds after seeing their first porn website the average person immediately forgot how great sliced-bread was and went to buy a faster modem.
Traffic to the most popular free sites exploded, Danni’s Hard Drive alone eclipsed the bandwidth use of the whole of South America in the early days, and the push of costs and pull of popularity quickly lead to people charging for subscriptions and making money.
Even when people started to take on employees and buy offices the amateur tag stuck. People couldn’t believe they could make such an easy living, and the business itself was amateurish. To buy a subscription you’d email in credit card information, which was typed into a spreadsheet, run through a machine like a restaurant transaction, and confirmed with another email a couple of days later. Digital cameras were primitive, web design meant picking colors and everyone was learning.
The pioneers were often women and mostly people with no previous technology background. The closest thing to big-business were premium-rate phone operators, who grasped the net faster than anyone, Playboy – who like most magazine publishers fundamentally misunderstood the value of the web, and guys like Seth Warshawsky who were criminals taking advantage of a medium few understood.
As the gold rush brought thousands of people, eager to cash in on the my-wife’s-hot-check-out-her-vagina business model, online free sex content went from being an expression of exhibitionist lust to a marketing tool. Even if the traditional amateur approach to content production, pointing a handycam at a genital pile-up and encoding the results, mandated a certain ineptness; truly amateur, catch-free sex content, was almost entirely consigned to history by late 1998. There was no need, and little desire, to give stuff away with so much money being made, leaving a fast growing mass of free material designed to lead people down a path to making a purchase.
As amateurism became an aesthetic not a principle, amateur content began to change. Sites, which invariably started with a focus on a single performer shot at home, used their money to go on location, hire other models and set up events. The rise of gonzo porn in the mainstream, which had been gathering steam for almost a decade, collided with early experiments in online video. The movie industry had unwittingly created a market for amateurishly shot sex scenes, which amateurs began to churn out because it was all they could put together.
Though porn photography had always been professionally, expensively, done, amateur website video looked almost indistinguishable from gonzo porn. The editing which makes DVD’s watch better than home videos comes from careful editing but online, most clips were so short and to the point editing was an irrelevance. Amateur video MPEGs became wildly popular and the big porn studios finally realized the web was competition.
While Playboy produced a ‘Women of the Internet’ issue and hoped that’d be the end of it, the studios tried to co-opt the web without getting too seriously involved in a revolution they wished wasn’t happening. Blind to the future they offered the most popular, best-looking amateur stars contracts not understanding it was pointless to get paid $5,000 a month to have sex with a strangers in California, when they were making $100,000 a month having sex with their friends at home. The websites they built had protecting DVD sales in mind above all else and were hobbled by aggressive advertising, limited content and corporate insincerity. Lacking serious competition, amateur sites thrived and ‘professional’ online sites, seldom more professional in actuality than the ‘amateurs’, catered to buyers who wanted to see the kind of material they enjoyed in magazines and movies.
The economics of running amateur websites heralded the dumbing down of mainstream porn performers. Wannabe Jenna J’s now had options – working for a studio, getting paid a wage and owning nothing; or becoming a CEO, building a website and owning everything. It wasn’t a hard choice and the people offering themselves to the studio system became increasingly naive, stupid and desperate for quick cash. The only reason to cede control of your career was for the PR a big company could provide, and they only offered that to the most glamourous performers. Jenna herself saw the control a website provided faster than most and made ClubJenna the centre of her career (it would have been JennaJameson.com but she wasn’t thinking of the web when she chose her name and had to buy it back later when she could afford to correct her mistake.)
Now, like ‘alt’, amateur is a self-ordained title chosen by those who like what it suggests. While all performer-driven sites acting without corporate support may be equally amateur, only those who look the part can use the phrase without being accused of cashing-in. Amateur’s not what you are, it’s what your content looks like and as fewer mainstream porn producers cling to the big-budget, high-gloss look which has traditionally been their trademark, the niche amateurs have long exploited is under pressure.
While big-budget porn still does well, hundreds of tiny video production companies competing to make the least watchable POV ‘reality’ compilation with ‘anal’ in the title are making amateur content for DVD. The real split between markets isn’t amateur and pro, it’s online and off. Today it’s easy find sell DVDs to people who choose not to get all their porn via the web. As the DVD market dies and those people become an eccentric fringe, those small producers will come into direct competition with the online amateur market and then whomever’s got the content, and the marketing savvy, will win.
Until the video market realizes the era of selling-discs is over they’re not going to lead the market anywhere. In 2006, amateur porn’s been dead almost a decade but what ‘amateur’ porn becomes is almost certainly the future of porn in general.
Popularity: 50% [?]
The best of the sex-blogs by the bloggers who blog them.
April 2nd, 2006 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: June 29th, 2007
The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them.
Thoughts on Sex: Sex Commentary, Sex Advice, Blogging
All About Oral: Odor, Etiquette, and Why Some Women Don’t Want It (cuntinglinguist.blogspot.com)
Anatomy Lessons Part 2 (swelteringcelt.com)
And it Burns, Burns, Burns… (sexeteria.blogspot.com)
Classic S Spot – More on Masturbation (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)
Damn Leeches! (anawtymouz.blogspot.com)
His Addiction (onaniajournal.blogspot.com)
Love Conquers Some But Not All (realadultsex.com)
Pussy on the Loose (taratainton.com)
Funny / Sex News / Grab Bag
10 Lies Pornographers Tell (sugarbank.com)
Angelina Puts Collagen Rumors to Bed (tgp.com)
I Bet You Didn’t Know the Ancient Greeks Had Strap-ons… (tirepaddle.com)
Last Night Dick Slipped… (janeluvsdick.com)
Sex in the News – Celebrity Sex Tales (seskuality.com)
Shit Week (nakedloftparty.com)
Reviews and Interviews
Interview with Sophia (chillivanilla.com/blg/)
Sugarjoy Review: Xervious Anime Labs (sugarjoy.com)
BDSM and Fetish
Always Ready… (seanandmel.blogspot.com)
Bath Time (ropegirl.blogspot.com)
Daddy’s Little Girl (redvelvetropeburn.blogspot.com)
Edging (sheenv.blogspot.com)
Learning the Ropes (avaadora.blogspot.com)
Missing the Kink (mnsss.blogspot.com)
Put in Place I (lifeashis.com)
Recurring Springtime Fantasy (aliferestarted.blogspot.com)
Redemption – Part II (nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)
Tied Down and Spanked (auntyagony.net)
NSFW Pics
Ariel X Again and Again… (eroticandy.blogspot.com)
Christine Young Review (internetisforporn.com)
Free Pics (seska4lovers.com)
Maddi and Rene on Sapphic Erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com)
Mim shot by Penelope for Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com)
Mirrors (pspporn.com)
Misato by Yousoudo for Met-Art (sensualarousalblog.com)
Naughty, Nasty HNT! (sexblogthis.blogspot.com)
Sunshine (lumpesse.com)
Erotica/Erotic Experiences
Between the Biker & the Wall (bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com)
Cock Tease (sexyukgirl.blogspot.com)
First Meeting (secretsofadirtygirl.blogspot.com)
Hard Fucking (everythingoze.blogspot.com)
I Saw. I Came. I was Conquered. (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)
Last Night (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com)
Magically Delicious (fourstate.blogspot.com)
Masturbating in the Car (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)
Masturbation and Memories (philosophyofbeing.blogspot.com)
Please, I Would Love A Kiss (suburbansexpot.blogs.com)
Secret Reads: The Roommate (secretbrain.blogspot.com)
Shhh… Do You Hear That? (v-boat.blogspot.com)
Snatched Moments (gentlygently.blogspot.com)
Sunday Sweetness (antisojo.livejournal.com)
When He Watches (tangysweet.blogspot.com)
Experiences
From Fantasy to Reality (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)
Kicking Myself In The Ass (stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)
Life with an Easy Girlfriend (hotcouple.co.uk)
Sex Work
Packing for a Spanking Shoot (adelehaze.com)
Wearing Your Inner Vixen (tinastrangeworld.blogspot.com)
Announcements and Sex Politics
Britney Spears Pro-Life Statue (spiritsex.blogspot.com)
Jorge Rivas (sugarpit.com)
New Book Review (cakenyc.com)
Popularity: 40% [?]
The best of the sex-blogs by the bloggers who blog them.
January 28th, 2006 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: June 28th, 2007
The best of the blogs by the bloggers who blog them, this week starting with the letter ‘V’.
Join the Sugasm
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links)
Sugasm is lovingly policed by Sabrina Morgan
Popularity: 35% [?]
The best of the sex-blogs by the bloggers who blog them.
December 31st, 2005 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: June 27th, 2007
The best of the blogs by the bloggers who blog them (this week starting with the letter E.)
Lovingly policed by Sabrina Morgan
Photo from damnjezebel.com
Update: Link added 1/1/06 – please ammend.
Popularity: 39% [?]
How to make your raw footage into a movie worth watching.
October 25th, 2005 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: June 25th, 2007
Your shoot went without incident, everyone looked great and, for the first time ever, you filmed people having sex with their consent. Now you have hours of tape and an idea. It’s time to edit your footage into a movie.
- Hire a professional. Seriously. Editing is a skill worth paying for, it contributes more to the final product than acting, directing or writing. The people who do those things will disagree but why do studios withhold ‘final cut’ from all but the most trusted directors? Even Scorcese – who’s arguably a better director than anyone working in porn – uses the same editor movie after movie. If editing was just operating machinery, and keeping the camera off Cameron Diaz’s acne scars, that wouldn’t happen. Whatever you have on tape a good edit(or) can improve.
- Log your footage. Sounds like a ‘German‘ foot fetish movie but in fact means writing down where every shot starts and ends. It’s the first step in the editing process and is not in any way optional.
- Limit your options. Make your life easier by keeping things simple. If you can’t hum a tune, access to George Martin and a symphony orchestra aren’t going to help your songwriting, likewise – feature laden editing software is a temptation, packed with distracting toys. Simple cuts and fades worked for Casablanca, they’ll work for “The Dukes in Daisy”.
- Find your rhythm. Most people respond positively to music at a speed of roughly 120 beats per minute, a pulse every half second, and it’s the default tempo of pop-music. Good edits have a rhythm too, if you’re finding it hard to make your cuts ’sit’, try shifting your cuts so they fall on beats and it should improve things. One trick is to lay in rhythmic music you like, cut to that and then strip out the music later. Your piece will carry the rhythm of the music even though the sound’s not there. That ringing in your ears? That’s the aftermath of your preconceptions exploding.
- Be flexible. News crews and documentarians (like Bob Marley and Eddy “Electric Avenue” Grant), often only ‘find the story’ when looking back at what they’ve shot. Whatever your initial idea, if editing’s proving difficult you might be bound by preconceptions – put them aside. Do not think. Do. Be. The. Ball.
Sam’s Swollen Tip: Porn can be produced with almost no editing at all. If you’re just shooting sex and trying to make it look as hot as possible (without calling me and requesting a cameo) cut scenes without trying to connect them. No one cares if the background against which the nasty’s happening changes.
If you cast your movie well you can always cut to images of beautiful people being beautiful whenever you get stuck. Entire TV shows have been built around this idea – ‘Baywatch’, ‘America’s Top Model’, ‘Visiting… with Huell Howser’ etc. The director of ‘Into the Blue’ got forty million dollars and a greenlight for saying ‘Jesica Alba in a bikini.’ That was his entire pitch, there wasn’t even a script.
Cut, eliminate and reduce until you have three minutes and fifteen seconds of footage people will fight to see. That’s all the time they need.
Popularity: 32% [?]
How to ensure you can focus on the sex when the day of your amateur porn shoot arrives.
October 24th, 2005 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: June 21st, 2007
The big day has arrived. You have an idea, talent, and enough lube to slip Harriet Miers past Congress (WOWZER!) The hard work is done, now all that’s left is capturing your vision for “Hit-her in the Shitter”, on camera.
- Paperwork. Don’t shoot anything until everyone’s paperwork is complete and checked out. That means releases, ID’s and STD tests. Photograph people with their ID’s and signing releases too if you can. If anything you’re given is even slightly questionable send that person home and walk away.
- Timing. Start early. People will arrive late, things will need fixing and stuff will break. Time on set without obligation, gives talent a chance to relax and that’s good. Pressured people perform poorly (the four P’s people! Know them, live them!)
- Divide and conqueror. If anyone’s arrived with a manager/partner/suitcase pimp make sure you have a comfortable holding area/pen to keep them in. They’ll get in the way, freak people out and piss you off. Experienced industry professionals know this, will let you do your thing and generally sit in a corner reading. Eager twenty-something boyfriends stand behind the camera, direct their girlfriends and object to things. If they can’t be sent home, make them comfortable – as far from the action as possible.
- Coverage. That’s fancy big-city talk for footage you’re not sure you’ll need which you grab for insurance. You always end up using it and, when things go wrong in the edit suite (that’d be your bedroom), you’ll curse yourself if you don’t have enough.
- B-roll. B-roll’s the footage you have to show in order to tell your story, but isn’t the story itself. People walking into rooms, hands opening doors (they’re also called inserts) or, in a porn movie, the ‘making the pizza’ montage before delivery boy, Chip, delivers his ‘hot meat surprise’ to the sorority house. B-roll’s easy to forget. Don’t.
- Sound. In movies and TV most of what you hear is not recorded on set. To provide flexibility, and fix mistakes, every sound that’s not spoken, and a lot of dialogue, is re-recorded (looped) after the fact. That’s why on TV you can always hear every footstep people make, and the brakes of trucks, however new, always squeal. In porn looping’s not common – you want reality. Getting it means using a good recorder, and being professional means not recording sound to the tape in the camera – the digital sound recorded by DV cams is far from CD quality. If you’re recording outside put a wind filter on your mike (it’s one of those fabric covers that looks like a dead animal). If you can, use a mic that’s not mounted on the camera, you’ll get better sound and less mechanical whirring noises and camera-operator breathing. Dialogue is always recorded in mono – don’t think because your camera records in stereo you need to use a stereo mic, you don’t.
Sam’s Swollen Tip: If taking a photograph is painting with light, shooting porn might be described as spraying with semen. Regardless, light’s what it’s all about.
A single light. A single light is simple but hard to use well. Any angle between the person your shooting and the light will create harsh shadows that exaggerate texture, make eyes sink and noses grow. In short everyone ends up looking like Owen Wilson. If you only have one light make sure it’s directly in front of your subject where it’ll flatten noses, kill wrinkles and shorten dicks.
Reflectors. Light from the side causes problems on its own, but can be deeply foxy when combined with another angled light source, of a different intensity, aimed at the same subject. If you use a reflector you can get the effect of having two light sources with only one light (and thus half the cables, complexity and cost). A commercial reflector of about twenty inches can be picked up for less than $30. A piece of foam-core board the same size also does a good job and is almost free.
Multiple light sources. If you’re serious (as cancer) you can use two or more lights. It’s not easy to do well, and a skill you shouldn’t be trying to learn on the day of your shoot. Generally speaking the less ‘equal’ your light sources, the more sophisticated the effect. Differing distances, angles, intensities and colors can work well.
Good luck – if you are shooting with Owen Wilson in a key role – remember, he likes to spend a lot of time licking ass.
Popularity: 25% [?]
Location, location, location. In porn it's almost as important as penis.
October 19th, 2005 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: June 21st, 2007
Using your house as the set of ‘Womb Raider’ seems like a good idea until you compare where you live to the places you see on TV and have a bit of a cry. Even if your ‘crib’ is ‘fly’ enough to use – you’ll still have to consider the law. It’s illegal to shoot hardcore sex in 90% of American cities, if you decide to do so you’re committing a crime, which isn’t recommended given the current crackdown.
No one’s busting people for shooting in their house yet, but if I lived south of the Waffle House line (where Waffle Houses start to appear, the South begins - IHOP doesn’t count), I’d be worried. (I’d be worried generally, it’s worrying down there.)
Legal implications aside choosing a location requires some thought:
- Privacy. This seems obvious but is worth thinking through. Unless everyone in your production’s going to be wearing a ball-gag (it’s a thought…) you need to account for the slaughter-house sound effects your performers might start to broadcast. Even if sound isn’t an issue, a women naked but for a bathrobe, smoking outside a building (the international symbol for porn-on-location), is going to draw attention.
- Facilities. A farm, or disused warehouse sounds like fun until the temperature drops and you realize there’s no working toilet. If your location doesn’t have a bathroom and running water, you’ll need to bring all that with you. You’ll also have a happier shoot if you have a portable source of heat (naked people get cold) and enough mirrors and lights for people to check themselves out in. A fridge can also be considered essential. The most obvious requirement for a shoot is power. Unless you want to lug generators you need somewhere to plug in kettles, monitors and the Hitachi Magic Wand. That’s why houses and hotel are the cliche locations – you’ll score points for not using them – it’s just harder to do.
- Permissions. If you shoot anywhere recognizable and then sell your footage, there’s a possibility someone (a property owner if you’re lucky, the feds if you’re not) will come knocking asking for money or reading you your rights. Many porn films are no longer available because legal issues make them impossible to sell. You have been warned.
- Light. Unless you have a lot of lights, and know how to use them, you’ll do best to find a location with plenty of sunlight. The more lights you use the more obvious any lack of cinematographic skill will be. Moody ‘goth’ locations are hard to light well – generally by the time the camera can see anything the mood’s gone. Make sure you check the location out through the camera – your eyes do a far better job in low-light than a DV cam.
Sam’s Swollen Tip: If you shoot in a hotel, clear it with the management or be discreet. Most hoteliers will freak out, kick you out and call the police out, fearing illegal naughtiness, if they discover your set (which is fair – they’re probably right). The smaller your production, the easier it’ll be to avoid suspicion. I’m not advocating it, but I’ve heard of crews checking into hotels separately, over the course of a few hours, with gear packed in suitcases, to get round exactly that problem.
Popularity: 20% [?]
How to make sure the budget of your porn movie doesn't explode as fast as the actors.
October 18th, 2005 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: June 21st, 2007
However much you tell yourself that you can produce ‘Fuckplan’ (tagline – ‘if someone took everything you know, how far would you go to get it back’) without spending any money – you can’t.
As with planning shots, you need to run through your shoot well in advance, note everything you’ll need to use, and then work out where it’s coming from. That packing list will enable you to budget realistically. As usual, planning well saves time and money down the line. The following are not to be forgotten:
- Performers. There’s no ’standard’ for paying adult performers. Some people get paid almost nothing (there are lots of these), some get paid quite a lot (not many of these), and almost everyone lies about how much they’re getting. Models (i.e. people who get paid to look nice naked) are paid by the day, performers (who get paid to do stuff) are paid by the scene. Models can get as little as $250 a day, and as much as $5-6,000 (if they’re a big name/stunning beauty, on location, working for a major company, still a lot less than fashion pays but the genetic requirements are more reasonable.) For performers, rates of $500 for girl-girl, $600 for boy-girl and $800 for a DP (double penetration) are entirely realistic, depending on the other factors involved. When it comes to money, the real limits are how bad someone wants a particular performer and what they’re being asked to do. It’s very possible to get performers to work for a percentage of gross if you’re trusted.
- Location. Anywhere but your house is going to cost you money (even if it’s a hotel room). Factor it in (more on locations to follow).
- Gear. Video tapes, gaffer tape (never go on location without plenty of tape), batteries and spares either have to be packed or bought. Lube, mouthwash, towels, condoms and other essentials need to be someone’s responsibility – it’s a waste of time sending someone off to buy stuff you should have thought of before you started. Towels need to be fluffy and new, mouthwash sealed – you can’t bring a lot of this stuff from ‘home’ if you want to be taken seriously.
- Food. Food is the most important thing on set aside from the performers themselves. If an army marches on its stomach (to quote Napoleon Bonaparte), pornstars fuck on theirs (sometimes literally). Unlimited quantities of water, diet soda and coffee are required. To that, add a buffet of cheese, candy, cold meat, popcorn (very popular) and a thousand types of cake cut into small oblongs. People who’ve starved for days before the shoot will be a lot mellower if you can keep their blood-sugar up and provide an excuse for them to ditch their diet. At lunch you’ll need hot food (pizza’s fine, as long as it’s freshly delivered and available in excess – besides, when a pizza guy shows up at a porn set, hilarity and free pizza usually ensue). The food needs to be constantly replenished and hot food provided once every 5-6 hrs. For some reason a perfect shoot with inadequate food gets written into history as a disaster, while a shitty shoot with great catering is a party. It works that way in Hollywood too.
Sam’s Swollen Tip: You can often get make-up for free in return for letting the artist put pictures in their portfolio (be warned – you might get a Kabuki mask effect if that’s what they need for their book). Finding men to work for ‘free’ on a porn set is not difficult – be careful about who you involve and make sure that no-one’s just taking up space, lurkers get in the way and freak out the performers.
Popularity: 26% [?]
How to find, and screen, the cast of your amateur porn movie.
October 13th, 2005 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: June 21st, 2007
The most important part of any porn movie is the cast – specifically the women (or men If you’re working the homosexualist/gaysexual tip.) Your cast will determine what happens in your movie, and the kind of success you can expect to have. Anything, however poorly shot, which features Jenna Jameson or Tera Patrick is worth thousands today; if you cast your movie right, the only thing left to worry about is screwing (oh! I’m punning) things up.
- Ladies first. Start by casting your female leads. If that’s your other half make sure you discuss what’s going to happen and what’s expected. Asking your wife how much she likes the postman three minutes before a scene isn’t going to work. If you’re not working with your partner, a talent agency is going to be easier and quicker than advertising (ads can work but, outside LA, the chances of finding the right sort of people are slim.) Going to an agent gives you more choice, and more protection, than asking members of your AA group.
- Choose men based on reliability. Looks and size are nice (thank you, it’s a gift) but choose male performers for their ability to get wood on demand and keep it for extended periods (unless the theme of your movie is ‘getting toothpaste back into the tube’). If you’re the male talent, expect erectile dysfunction and have a plan B. Plan B can be a sex-toy, another performer or a ’stunt cock’ – i.e. a guy whose reliable cock stands in for yours.
- Get tests. Everyone you shoot needs to be tested for STD’s, even if they’re ‘just’ sharing toys (anyone who comes into contact with body fluids has to be tested and clear). The industry expects performers to pay for their own testing (unless they’re under contract to a studio). Make sure you know what a real test looks like – call the testing center to verify if you don’t. Using condoms is a really smart idea.
- Prep in advance. The camera sees detail you ignore in the heat of the moment, i.e. freshly waxed flesh looks like cold chicken peppered with tiny scabs, and bra’s leave dents in boobs for up to an hour after they’ve been removed. Speak to your performers so they can wax a couple of days before the shoot, and arrive for work braless. If guys are going to shave, make sure they have adequate time to heal/get stitches. Few people outside porn spend much time staring at their exposed ass – ensure everyone checks their airlock for Klingons.
- Confirm ID. Traci Lords had a real passport which showed a fake age, there’s nothing you can do about that, you will go to jail however if you accept a third generation Xerox of a video-rental card as proof-of-age. Insist on originals and check carefully, any mistakes made will be your problem. Don’t even take a test shot until you’re sure the ID’s good, and remember that in the US today, it’s effectively illegal to shoot anyone who doesn’t have a US ID (i.e. a foreign passport won’t work). Take a picture of each performer with their ID so you can prove they gave it to you.
Sam’s Swollen Tip: Whatever your plans, make sure everyone you cast knows what you plan to shoot and has agreed to it. You’ll be surprised at what people are sensitive about (the standing joke in porn concerns how much pickier people are about who they kiss than who they screw). If your plans and your cast don’t mesh, change something before you’re on location wasting time and money.
Popularity: 29% [?]
Everything you need in the room before the camera's start rolling on your amateur porn epic.
October 12th, 2005 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: June 21st, 2007
Some of the equipment you’ll need to record your BBW/bukkake movie, titled ‘Nut Butter & Jelly’, is irreplaceable and beyond debate (the camera springs to mind), other stuff will make the difference between an expensive home movie, and an authentic, piss off the Attorney General, porn film.
Essentials:
- Camera. You can shoot on DV but the industry’s moving to HDV fast and it’s worth jumping on now (let’s hope you have talent who are still sexy with every pore, stretch-mark and gender-reassignment scar on display).
- Releases. Without paperwork proving that everyone on camera is over 18 you’re not making a movie, as much as producing evidence for the prosecution.
- An edit system. In 2005, any simple edit system provides tools Hitchcock would have killed for so, if your production’s not as interesting as ‘North by Northwest’, it’s your fault. On the flipside you have to edit, even if it’s just to remove those cute SNAFU’s (“Dude, is she asleep? She’s totally not moving dude…”) You can learn everything you need to know about editing from ‘The Five C’s of Cinematography‘ – well worth reading.
Technically Non-Essentials But, Trust Me, They’re Necessary:
- Baby Wipes. Good for de-jizzing people and things.
- Lube. Makes for happy fuckers.
- Toys. When woody doesn’t show, they’ll save your day and give you something to shoot.
- Robes/Slippers. Between shots, and during cigarette breaks, people need stuff to wear. If you have clean, fluffy robes for people to slip on you’ll be a very popular director (and save time wasted while people dress and undress).
- Stills Camera. It’ll help on a practical level (e.g. remembering what goes where) and provide the ‘behind-the-scenes’ shots you’ll use for marketing and PR.
Sam’s Swollen Tip: You can get access to professional camera equipment, and someone who knows how to use it, via an ad on Craigslist looking for a news camera operator. Most local news is shot by independent camera operators who own their gear. When they’re not working, their gear sits around, the interest on their loans accumulates, and they dream of making money on the side shooting porn. I’ve never met a camera operator who didn’t ask me if there’s any extra work I can get them, and they’ll do a better job than you ever could yourself.
Popularity: 26% [?]
Spend a day getting to know your colleagues while you film strangers fucking.
July 12th, 2005 by Sam Sugar | Last modified: June 18th, 2007
Sue in accounts.
As my grandfather used to say “There’s no ‘let’s spend the afternoon filming people fucking’ in team,” and as a child I believed him but now, thanks to Xplicit Porn School, I know he’s wrong (then again, he was right about me not investing his life-savings in Pets.com stock back in ‘99.)
At Xplicit Porn School, companies lacking the special bond that only hot fuck action can bring, finally have a place to solve their problems in a safe, pornographic, environment. It’s been a long time cumming. How could paint-balling ever compete with balling as a way of building team spirit?
The day at Xplicit starts with a champagne reception (non-drinkers may opt to pour the champagne over their tits and tell anyone watching how nasty they like it), followed by a brief look at the history of porn. Then your team hits the set.
Prices vary, depending on the mix of male and female performers your company chooses to work with, and start at $6,500 which includes a full crew and one female performer. That’s not cheap, especially when you factor in tickets to England and lawsuits, but sure to produce memories of nursing an aching erection with colleagues that’ll last decades.
On a serious note, it’s a great idea for forward looking companies. When your supervisor asks you to work Saturday in order to fix your TPS reports, imagine being able to say, “Remember on set, when those guy’s balls kept touching during the cluster? Well you’re making me feel like those balls sir.”
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