Jolene Anderson in peaches.

Ella Bache skincare have made a 12 metre long (that’s about 35 pounds, or 7 years, my American friends) statue of the nude Jolene Anderson out of fruit, to remind Sydney’s women that their products will make fruit bats land on them and eat their peachy soft tits.

Jolene’s part of the cast of ‘All Saints’, an Australian drama set in the fertile crescent at the start of the first century which follows the love-lives of the disciples wives.

I think.

Now I’ve Googled Jolene I’m wondering if sinking my tumescent baby canon into two tons of peachy ass could feel better than doing the same to Ms. Anderson (Jolene, email me?).

What! If advertising statue-rape is wrong I don’t want to be right (ask anyone at Disneyland Paris).

Link

Either this woman has never been felt-up on a train or… oh shit. She loves it.

Thanks Olympus. Is it just me or does it feel like 1970 in here?

I’m not a fan of tights and have never wondered how to achieve the classic bunny look, but for women (or cross-dressers) who have, that hard to emulate shine is a product of wearing two pairs at a time.

“Playmate Shannon James, Miss May 2007 says the Playboy Bunny Costumes are custom and have to fit perfectly. With help from a fellow playmate it takes about 10 minutes to get into properly. No jewelry is allowed, a makeup artist provides all the girls matching red pouts, and each bunny always has on two pairs of pantyhose: black layered over nude, finished with high heels dyed to match their costume.”

“When you first put on a pair of nude pantyhose, make sure they are a light denier, such as 10-15 denier and support only, no regular 100% nylon. Then slide over a pair of shiny black high end pantyhose like Wolford Neon Glanz in a 30 denier to copy the look.”

Go get em ladies.

The first rule of sex-blog club is you don’t sex-blog from the Apple Store during an iPhoto demo.

Given the limited opportunities I now have for reviewing ‘Sister Fister vs. Mr. Mum’ I’ll ask a question instead.

I know from emails I’ve had the readership of this blog splits into three:

1. People who are interested in sex.
2. People who are interested in the jizz bizz.
3. People who are interested in blogging/marketing and running an adult website.

In recent months I’ve focused on group 1, and had less hate-mail than I have when I’ve spent time focusing on group 3. However, as sex is covered brilliantly in a number of places, and 2 & 3 isn’t, I’m wondering how to stay true to my initial aim to blog porn more than sex in general.

I could launch another blog, or split SugarBank into categories, or simply move the focus wholesale and produce more of the long-form, industry focused posts I did in 2005-2006.

Thoughts?

(N.B. I won’t be responding for a while. My internet access is set to be down until near the end of the week).

Kyla Cole & Tara Radovic courtesy of TGP.

This is SugarBank post 1001. Jesus. I have such a big mouth…

The best of this week’s sex-blogs by the bloggers who blog them.

This Week’s Picks
An Erotic Story…Samson and Delilah

“Now how exactly does one go about seducing a preacher?”

A Kiss
“Then, the lulling low roar of your voice falls away and we are both leaning forward, transfixed.”

Clif & Lydia Drop Over The Edge
“She nervously giggled and lowered her lashes. ”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
The Secret of Playboy Legs

Editor’s Choice

The Carnival of Feminists 53: Call for submissions

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

If you’ve ever seen geographically sensitive advertising telling you “Sexy women in your area want to meet now!” and wondered if dating sites have the balls/lack of conviction/stupidity to just paste in pictures of models and pretend they’re customers this ad, served to me recently, is proof they do.

Sydney Moon, San Francisco’s finest, is not only not looking for dates, but is the kind of woman who’d pull off your head and shit into your neck if you were to question the validity of her degree (don’t ask me how I know).

I’m not anywhere near Horsham either.

These sex tips which cam to me via a link request were either written by:

a) A genius
b) The foxy Russian chick pictured who looks exactly like Aria Giovanni because she is and thus didn’t.

1. Meet hit without panties when he came from work and tell him about.

2. Meet him when he came from work only in stockings and belt.

3. Put your hand in his pants when he watching the game and start to masturbate.

4. Slip hand in your jeans when your and the partner watching some TV show and start to masturbate.

5. Nestle to him after supper and start kissing his penis.

6. Suggest taking shower together for a change. Lather him and let he lather you.

7. Start to make oral sex in shower.

8. Make oral sex in bed, do it slowly and enjoy.

9. Ask him to licking your pussy.

10. Ask what his favorite desire in sex is.

11. Ask him what he is dreaming about but dread to say.

12. Bed him down the back and start to have sex.

13. Bite his nipples

14. Ask him to park the car in imperceptible place and to have sex at the back seat.

15. Nightly came at the garden and make sex at grass, under the tree, anywhere.

16. Let he masturbate over you so as he cum at your breast.

17. Let he se(sic) the way you masturbate and show him the better way to satisfy you.

18. In time of sex put active vibrator in your anus.

19. Ask him to make anal sex, but carefully, lest hurt you.

20. Dress as a San Francisco broad it should be only corset and hat flags.

I trust like me you’re now trying to work, “In the time of sex put active vibrator in your anus”, into conversation.

Kristyna courtesy of Badgirl’s Hotbox.

The best of this week’s sex-blogs by the bloggers who blog them.

This Week’s Picks
The Rule of Blowjobs for Women
“Tease. Spend time. Don’t just start out like a Hoover on overdrive.”

Commercialising Romance or “I bought you this card now where’s my blowjob?”
“If it takes a specific date for your partner to show you he loves you then what do you have?”

Relax
“She smiled up at him, from her vantage point between his knees, and continued what she’d been doing.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Questions…

Editor’s Choice
Hazards of the Biz

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Mizuki Horii courtesy of TGP.com.

The best of this week’s sex-blogs by the bloggers who blog them.

This Week’s Picks
The Ache of Desire Unsatisfied

“J groaned in my ear, and I nearly pulled down his zipper then and there.”

Unexpected
“Tingles of electricity were set coursing up and down that side of my body.”

Part(y)ing shots
“I placed both my hands on the tiled wall in front of me, clammy and cold, holding myself up.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
The “Best way to make him felt hot”

Editor’s Choice
Who Is A Sex Worker?

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

I’ve been busy of late. Here’s what I’ve been doing:

1. Launching a non-porn blog (not to be mentioned here but if you’re curious email me and I’ll show it to you).
2. Running about dealing with non-porn stuff (Oscar season is busy for me and no, I don’t make Oscars).
3. Selling a business plan.
4. Trying to sell TGP.com

I know. Selling TGP is something I now list on my resume as ‘other interests’ but this time I have to get it done. My business plan is a non-porn, much mutated version of the project which has taken me around the world for the past three years and is about to come to pass in a very cool way. That means I will have less time for other things and TGP.com is an ‘other thing’.

So if you want to buy a domain let me know.

If you know someone who wants to buy a domain let me know too, I’ll give you a commission (well, I’ll offer you a choice between the commission and sex and we all know how that’ll go down. And by ‘that’ I mean you.)

I’m going to be ‘up against it’ for about another 2 weeks. I’ll blog if I can but silence is better than bullshit.

Until then enjoy the archives and feel free to email me.