I’ve been offered the opportunity to buy a small network of websites which makes $350,000 a year for $750,000. That’s a great deal. Unfortunately I don’t have $750K right now and I don’t want to buy the sites for someone else. What I need is a loan, or a partner, who I can pay back over a couple of years, happy to take a very healthy return on a business which - lets be honest - is a bit shady.

You know where to find me (And you do. Often.) Let me know if a 100% return or a 25% slice sound good to you. I’d rather not do a deal, than wind up minority partner in a business I’d be running.

Otherwise I’m going to have sell something.

Anyone need a liver?

View from my Back Row via Tara Tainton

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #114? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
A Different Kind Of Authority For Sex Bloggers
“As we sex workers, sex bloggers, and adult business folks swim in our ponds or spin in our micro universes & connect with others, we continue to build authority.”

“At one point she was straddling Girlfriend’s right leg, grinding her thigh against Girlfriend’s clit through her jeans.”
Of sex and strippers

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge
Her comments were something to the effect of, “No one wanted to see me twirl with tassels ~ on fire or not ~ when some girl was going to sit on stage and insert things into herself.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Kofola

Editor’s Choice
Interview with Paul Festa about circumcision

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Gia Marie Carangi via Maxwell D

Immortalized by Angelina Jolie. Worth seeing in person. Naked.

Erica Ellyson

Congratulations Erica. You obviously studied hard trimmed your wookie for this.

You heard it hear first, probably, because as I write this it’s not been officially announced. My source is just about perfect so call your bookie/edit Wikipedia with confidence.

Playboy Germany

From smut-friendly adblog AdRants

..in Germany, they let brands take over the covers of Playboy and car maker SEAT, with help from Barcelona-based Atletico International Advertising, has one of its cars climbing the mountainous regions of a woman illustrated in the form of an elevation map.

The special edition of the magazine was distributed as a giveaway and was placed in the waiting rooms of German SEAT dealers. Not so subtly, the tagline translates to English as, “SEAT Altea Freetrack. Access All Areas.”

It’s pronounced see-at like bee-atch, not seet like teet. Seat are a European arm of VW.

Can you imagine being given free porn by your local Saturn dealer?

(I did get a hummer in a Hummer once but don’t like to boast)

Link

I saw these magnets in LA. They are without doubt the coolest fridge jewelery I’ve seen this week.

A pimpin’ president lifts the world’s dumbest Halloween costume into the realm of genius. Stay away from the crazy color suits (have you ever seen a pimp in a movie dressed like that?) and go for a good mask, Sheepskin jacket, plenty of rings and some tightly cut plaid. Bored with pimpin’ (it ain’t easy)? Take the mask off and party on dressed like scum an indie hipster.

Clinton’s the low hanging fruit, Jimmy “Peanuts” Carter is more ‘Mac of the Year’ material. Regan in fur? With a hot-pant adorned Nancy?

Priceless.

Or $200 an hour AND IF YOU BRUISE THE PRODUCT I WILL BREAK OFF A CHUNK OF YOUR HONKY ASS!

Link

Bernard Natan

Bernard Natan (1886-1942) was a French-Romanian porn director and actor who worked in 20’s and 30’s France. His success as first big promoter of bi-sexual and masochistic themes allowed him to buy Pathé in 1929. If you want to get some perspective on how much money was in hardcore back then, that’s like Seymour Butt’s buying NBC today. During his ownership of Pathé the studio developed the anamorphic lens - the basis for every widescreen film system you’ve ever heard of.

In 1935, during the depression, Pathé went bankrupt and in 1939 Natan was imprisoned for fraud. He was released in 1942 but due to his Jewish heritage was sent to Auschwitz where he died.

I assume someone’s working on a movie?

Link

Irene Bagach.

The Oscar worthy bod above appears, along with Keely Hazell, in the Oscar nominated British short film “Cashback”.

In France the poster for the movie shows the image as it is in the film, with only a curious change of panty color and perspective, for aesthetic reasons I presume.

Cashback’s French poster.

In the US, to eliminate the vile breasts, on comes a bra, the title moves to cover any remaining hint of nipple and Irene Bagach’s panties stay as white as… well clean underwear.

Cashback’s US poster.

By the time the US DVD appeared the entire chest region had been obscured and who knows what color her panties are, or if they’re on, because they’ve disappeared under a badly drawn skirt.

Does anything about this strike you as puerile?

Who’s afraid of tits and when did America become Victorian England?

Link

Most bad porn can be blamed on pimples, cheap photographic equipment and talentless talent. It’s boring. Bad porn produced to draw the attention of porn consumers with the emotional sensitivity of Pol Pot and put together with production values Ed Wood would question isn’t boring at all though.

The acme of good-bad porn is the thumbnail gallery (here’s a good one). No porn surfer’s harder to get a click out of than someone who’s just jacked off to “2 Girls 1 Cup”. It’s a problem that’s lead thumbnail gallery owners to Photoshop and special effects. The resulting ‘fantasy material’ is folk-art for wankers (like all of it actually).

I thought it was time to recognize it with a few awards.

The ‘Old Faithful’ Award for Simulated Female Ejaculation

Nominees:
1.

…because Cytheria, the ‘queen’ of squirting, was standing up seconds before this photo was taken.

2.

…for volume, and because the guy who put the hose in is still in shot.

3.

…because it’s the almost impossible “bluetooth” simultaneous orgasm (i.e. hands-free) and because I’m really glad that’s not my bedlinen.

And the winner is…

…for defying both reason and gravity. This woman might have Ed Harris in her vagina and be about to contact an advanced alien civilization.

The B.B.C. Award for PhotoShopped Cock

Nominees:
1.

…because I thought the one on top was an arm. Seriously.

2.

…because either she’s bitten off the end and swallowed it (hence the surprised look?) Or the artist incolved forgot to draw a lump in her cheek.

3.

…because he’s obviously wondering where his balls have gone.

And the winner is…

…because if you weren’t scared of prison before, you are now. I really hope that’s PhotoShop.

…and finally.

The ‘Britney Spears’ Award for Things that are Supposed to be Sexy but Aren’t

Nominees:
1.

…because the question isn’t “Paper, plastic or vagina?”

2.

…because this is no different than walking in on your parents except that if you did you’d hope your dad had a bigger dick.

3.

…because I think this guy just invented ‘cum-boarding’ and I like the elegant juxtaposition of fake cock, fake cum and genuine horror pictured.

And the winner is…

…because if that’s not brown lubricant I’d suggest he put both rubber gloves on his dick.

If you didn’t think that was very amusing just be glad it was still cheaper, quicker and funnier than the AVNs

Lucy C courtesy of TGP.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them.

This Week’s Picks
Sexay
“You bite my tautish thighs passionately, and drag my thong off with your teeth.”

Resolved
“Naked now, I turned her towards him, running my hands across breasts, midriff and down between her legs.”

Afterglow
“She’s hot, where only seconds ago in the throes and tears of her ecstacy she shivered.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Pimpin’ Presidents

Editor’s Choice

“Coming out” for spankos

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.