Max, Italy, has posted a mini-retrospective of glamour shots by David LaChapelle. My Italian begins and ends with “Goaaal!” so I can’t help you with the context but it’s LaChapelle, yes Pam’s included and yes, there are boys for boys who like boys.
Can’t anyone in porn persuade a celeb to do what they do so happily in the name of art? I vote for lobbying Kate Beckinsdale.
Happy New Year - after brief trips to Vegas, LA and Vancouver normal(ish) service will resume shortly…
I received a dispatch from the Itty Bitty Titty Committee informing me I had to make this post or lose my charter membership.
Though I love the tiny ones, Kate’s not on my ‘must hit’ list because I suspect her drug addled secretions might corrode my penis and have heard she has the intellectual depth of a stack of Cosmopolitans.
I’m very fond of Fleshbot. It’s a true blog, i.e. a links list not a source of vanity editorial. I read it daily and avoid posting anything they’ve already covered (I know many of you read them too and try not to waste your time).
Recently they’ve taken on a few new writers and seem to be posting increasingly ‘advertorial’ posts. Today things hit bottom with this, a puff-piece devoid of any critical objective opinion. Bad advertorial (good advertorial is invisible).
I know the writer of the post, the company mentioned, the director and star of the movie discussed and while liking them all (Jana more than the rest obviously) can say this post is a waste of my time. In fact, a couple of these a day will have me reconsidering my feed-reading priorities and consigning Fleshbot to maybe/sometimes/never pile.
Am I over-reacting? Anyone else sense a change of tone and quality at the bot? Are they losing money and desperate to make more or just trying to exploit their success and missing the mark?
Kofola, a Czech/Slovak Pepsi competitor, decided to boost awareness using a hot, female, body-painted vending machine and the natural power of nipples to draw a rapt audience. In a country where any non-beer based drink is viewed with suspicion this had to help.
You can improve your product design and customer service all you want but whatever you’re trying to sell - tits win.
Given enough time and a persistent erection it’s now possible to do almost anything with a computer. While photochops of celebrities and porn-stars are common, a new wave of video edits is making the mash-up seem new again.
Current examples are short out of necessity. No-one’s being paid and this stuff takes ages to render. Given a profit motive and willing participants, who’d bet against Digital Playground producing a multi-titted Jesse Jane, Jenna digitally getting her body back, or a little judicious tattoo-removal (a ‘Jolie’ in industry speak) popping up on Belladonna in future?
On a side-note, anyone recognize the body that’s been borrowed here?
‘Slut UPS girl’ is more job-description than costume, but let’s not balk at the ability of America’s young women to find the trash in professions their forbears fought to participate in as equals.
Being dressed in brown is a tough look to pull off but the sheer volume of strumpet here seems to be having a positive cumulative effect on me.
The last thing you see before you die in a car equipped with Takata airbags is a giant pink ass. The ass of God? The ass of Satan? What do these guys know?
It is harder for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter heaven because you can’t get a camel up God’s ass. QED.
I’ve been offered the opportunity to buy a small network of websites which makes $350,000 a year for $750,000. That’s a great deal. Unfortunately I don’t have $750K right now and I don’t want to buy the sites for someone else. What I need is a loan, or a partner, who I can pay back over a couple of years, happy to take a very healthy return on a business which - lets be honest - is a bit shady.
You know where to find me (And you do. Often.) Let me know if a 100% return or a 25% slice sound good to you. I’d rather not do a deal, than wind up minority partner in a business I’d be running.
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #114? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks A Different Kind Of Authority For Sex Bloggers
“As we sex workers, sex bloggers, and adult business folks swim in our ponds or spin in our micro universes & connect with others, we continue to build authority.”
“At one point she was straddling Girlfriend’s right leg, grinding her thigh against Girlfriend’s clit through her jeans.” Of sex and strippers
Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge
Her comments were something to the effect of, “No one wanted to see me twirl with tassels ~ on fire or not ~ when some girl was going to sit on stage and insert things into herself.”
Congratulations Erica. You obviously studied hard trimmed your wookie for this.
You heard it hear first, probably, because as I write this it’s not been officially announced. My source is just about perfect so call your bookie/edit Wikipedia with confidence.
..in Germany, they let brands take over the covers of Playboy and car maker SEAT, with help from Barcelona-based Atletico International Advertising, has one of its cars climbing the mountainous regions of a woman illustrated in the form of an elevation map.
The special edition of the magazine was distributed as a giveaway and was placed in the waiting rooms of German SEAT dealers. Not so subtly, the tagline translates to English as, “SEAT Altea Freetrack. Access All Areas.”
It’s pronounced see-at like bee-atch, not seet like teet. Seat are a European arm of VW.
Can you imagine being given free porn by your local Saturn dealer?
(I did get a hummer in a Hummer once but don’t like to boast)
I saw these magnets in LA. They are without doubt the coolest fridge jewelery I’ve seen this week.
A pimpin’ president lifts the world’s dumbest Halloween costume into the realm of genius. Stay away from the crazy color suits (have you ever seen a pimp in a movie dressed like that?) and go for a good mask, Sheepskin jacket, plenty of rings and some tightly cut plaid. Bored with pimpin’ (it ain’t easy)? Take the mask off and party on dressed like scum an indie hipster.
Clinton’s the low hanging fruit, Jimmy “Peanuts” Carter is more ‘Mac of the Year’ material. Regan in fur? With a hot-pant adorned Nancy?
Priceless.
Or $200 an hour AND IF YOU BRUISE THE PRODUCT I WILL BREAK OFF A CHUNK OF YOUR HONKY ASS!
Bernard Natan (1886-1942) was a French-Romanian porn director and actor who worked in 20’s and 30’s France. His success as first big promoter of bi-sexual and masochistic themes allowed him to buy Pathé in 1929. If you want to get some perspective on how much money was in hardcore back then, that’s like Seymour Butt’s buying NBC today. During his ownership of Pathé the studio developed the anamorphic lens - the basis for every widescreen film system you’ve ever heard of.
In 1935, during the depression, Pathé went bankrupt and in 1939 Natan was imprisoned for fraud. He was released in 1942 but due to his Jewish heritage was sent to Auschwitz where he died.
The Oscar worthy bod above appears, along with Keely Hazell, in the Oscar nominated British short film“Cashback”.
In France the poster for the movie shows the image as it is in the film, with only a curious change of panty color and perspective, for aesthetic reasons I presume.
Cashback’s French poster.
In the US, to eliminate the vile breasts, on comes a bra, the title moves to cover any remaining hint of nipple and Irene Bagach’s panties stay as white as… well clean underwear.
Cashback’s US poster.
By the time the US DVD appeared the entire chest region had been obscured and who knows what color her panties are, or if they’re on, because they’ve disappeared under a badly drawn skirt.
Does anything about this strike you as puerile?
Who’s afraid of tits and when did America become Victorian England?
No porn surfer’s harder to get a click out of than someone who’s just jacked off to “2 Girls 1 Cup”
Most bad porn can be blamed on pimples, cheap photographic equipment and talentless talent. It’s boring. Bad porn produced to draw the attention of porn consumers with the emotional sensitivity of Pol Pot and put together with production values Ed Wood would question isn’t boring at all though.
The acme of good-bad porn is the thumbnail gallery (here’s a good one). No porn surfer’s harder to get a click out of than someone who’s just jacked off to “2 Girls 1 Cup”. It’s a problem that’s lead thumbnail gallery owners to Photoshop and special effects. The resulting ‘fantasy material’ is folk-art for wankers (like all of it actually).
I thought it was time to recognize it with a few awards.
The ‘Old Faithful’ Award for Simulated Female Ejaculation
Nominees: 1.
…because Cytheria, the ‘queen’ of squirting, was standing up seconds before this photo was taken.
2.
…for volume, and because the guy who put the hose in is still in shot.
3.
…because it’s the almost impossible “bluetooth” simultaneous orgasm (i.e. hands-free) and because I’m really glad that’s not my bedlinen.
And the winner is…
…for defying both reason and gravity. This woman might have Ed Harris in her vagina and be about to contact an advanced alien civilization.
The B.B.C. Award for PhotoShopped Cock
Nominees: 1.
…because I thought the one on top was an arm. Seriously.
2.
…because either she’s bitten off the end and swallowed it (hence the surprised look?) Or the artist incolved forgot to draw a lump in her cheek.
3.
…because he’s obviously wondering where his balls have gone.
And the winner is…
…because if you weren’t scared of prison before, you are now. I really hope that’s PhotoShop.
…and finally.
The ‘Britney Spears’ Award for Things that are Supposed to be Sexy but Aren’t
Nominees: 1.
…because the question isn’t “Paper, plastic or vagina?”
2.
…because this is no different than walking in on your parents except that if you did you’d hope your dad had a bigger dick.
3.
…because I think this guy just invented ‘cum-boarding’ and I like the elegant juxtaposition of fake cock, fake cum and genuine horror pictured.
And the winner is…
…because if that’s not brown lubricant I’d suggest he put both rubber gloves on his dick.
If you didn’t think that was very amusing just be glad it was still cheaper, quicker and funnier than the AVNs
…an unapologetic sexy-time-I-like you’d have to be sick to jack off to.
If you’ve want to believe there’s still fun in porn Danni.com’s annual blooper reel might give you hope.
Unscripted, and lacking the person hiding behind the door with a cake you might expect, it’s an unapologetic sexy-time-I-like you’d have to be sick to jack off to. Moral? Smiling naked women do exist and shooting porn can be a fun day.
The 1960 Aston Martin DB4 Zagato. 20 were built (should have been 25 but they didn’t sell).
The title of this post is misleading but too good not to blog.
It raises a question. What’s the sexiest car of all time?
I don’t mean ‘which car would you most like’ but, which vehicle, in its metal, has the ability to semaphore barely restrained sexual energy so powerfully you it’s almost arousing?
The Mercedes 300SL has it, almost any Lamborghini has it and Ferrari’s often lack it. On a more mundane level I’ve never been able to resist a woman in a primer-coated classic, and find that ‘Grandad Cars’ have a sex-appeal born of the ease with which you can have sex in one (thank you bench seats).
The beast above is the great Aston Martin DB4 Zagato. An English car in an Italian suit which can’t, in my eyes, be improved upon. Any ideas of your own?
TGP’s aren’t what the kids think are sexy nowadays, but if you’re old enough to remember when seeing naughty pictures online wasn’t easy (say… 27?) you’ll have some affection for the sites that pioneered online smut.
One of the biggest was (and is) Persian Kitty. Contrary to most assumptions there has always been a woman behind the site but proving it was hard - she’s a recluse. That’s why I was amazed to see a picture of Persian Kitty (do I have to point out that’s not her real name?) at Internext.
When I did business with her, getting her to the phone was an achievement in itself. Thus I assumed she was a obese 55 year old shut-in and perhaps a terrorist. I couldn’t imagine why anyone was reluctant to take a meeting when I was paying her $20K a month for an ad spot which she didn’t promise any performance on.
According to AVN it was just because she has kids. OMG SO CUTE!
She’s more ‘alt’, hardcore and O.G. than the dyed, tattoo’d models working for Vivid Alt who still live the underpaid, out of control lifestyle pioneered by Tracy Lords. She also makes over $100,000 a month posting links to photo galleries, and has never had to do anything but log on to earn it.
The story here isn’t that Russia’s packed with politicians who’d give Mrs. D. Kusinich a run for her money in the PILF stakes, but that no one’s being asked to resign, repent or return to the provinces because they were once hot and didn’t mind exploring it.
The study of what happens to your acorn when kung-fu’ing in a steam room (Hotcockfuology) will never be the same.
My female friends tell me Viggo’s about the hottest 50 year-old alive. This has only been helped by his fully nude fight scene in Eastern Promises, which has just been nominated for an Oscar.
I think it should get a Nobel. The study of what happens to your acorn when kung-fu’ing in a steam room (Hotcockfuology) will never be the same.
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #116? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks Debauched nothings
“You promised me you’d give me your cock.”
Sex Trophies
“Inside the drawer are two pair of panties.”
A (pseudo?) Russian blogger has changed my world by introducing me to the “Trans-Siberian Pussy Warmer”. Supposedly a stove you can pay to sit on during long, cold rail trips and nicknamed for obvious reasons.
If this is bullshit (and my BS meter spat blue-plazma and exploded when it got near this post) I’d rather not know. My Siberian friends have never heard of it. Anyone?
Israeli sex ed means “Fucking Jews on a skateboard.” Literally.
If you didn’t purchase your sex-education from Pandora Drake for 50p and a bag of grapes (as I did) you may remember books on reproduction featuring big ‘Ram’s Head’ diagrams of the female reproductive tract and commentary on racing sperm.
Metafilter’s collection of links to sex-ed books in Hebrew (conception on a skateboard and a piledriver), Russian (missionary and a stork(!) on the cover) and German (beards, a car with hearts painted on it and a baby coming out arms first) say a lot about drug use in the late seventies sexual attitudes around the globe.
Alessandra Ambrosio and someone who’s not me. WTF?
Chickipedia aims to steer a path between the ad-free community of Wikipedia and the professionally run IMDB. If they’re lucky they’ll have IMDB’s quality without the cost of hiring a professional staff. If they’re unlucky people won’t feel comfortable contributing to an ad-supported site and the entries will resemble Wikipedia’s famously bad entry on Bill Gates (now corrected but once a stream of vitriol and rumor).
They’re trying to run a babelog which doesn’t require them to produce content. If they become authoritative they’ll generate huge numbers of pageviews and do little work. Their challenge is having entries with enough quality to make them the first-call for babe information.
So how do they do? Their first page trumpets Alessandra Ambrosio, on whom they have to say:
Introduction
If somebody put a gun to your head and told you to name the hottest chick alive, the safe bet would be to say Alessandra Ambrosio.
Life Story
Born in the small town of Erechim, Brazil, she decided she wanted to be a model when she was eight years old. At age 11 she had cosmetic surgery to pin her ears back because she felt they stuck out too much. For the next two years she suffered complications from the surgery, whatever the hell that means. In 2006 she went on the Tyra Banks Show and admitted that the surgery had been a bad experience for her and that it discouraged from having plastic surgery again.
Career
At 12 she enrolled in a modeling class, where the professor would tell the other kids to try and look more like Alessandra. She is currently one of the highest paid models on the planet and has appeared on the cover of Victoria’s Secret and GQ.
She is a part of the Brazilian supermodel revolution that includes Gisele Bundchen, Michelle Alves, Adriana Lima and her best friend, Ana Beatriz Barros. She has appeared on a number of commercials and talk shows, and was also a judge on “Project Runway” (Heidi Klum) and has acted in Entourage (Emmanuelle Chriqui, Mandy Moore, Leighton Meester).
In 2004, Ambrosio launched her line of swimwear called Alessandra Ambrosio by Sais, a division of Rosa Cha and is continuing to expand into other areas of licensing.
While Wikipedia have the following entry:
Alessandra Corine Ambrósio (born April 11, 1981) is a Brazilian supermodel. Her last name is spelled Ambrósio, but the diacritic mark is omitted in her modeling work. She was described by retired supermodel Tyra Banks as “The future of the modeling world”. She is best known for her work with Victoria’s Secret and was chosen as their first spokesmodel for Victoria’s Secret PINK line. She is currently one of Victoria’s Secret Angels. and the face for the UK company Next and Armani A|X. Aside from modeling work, she represents as the National Ambassador for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Ambrosio was also selected by AskMen.com as Number 6 out of the Top 99 Most Desirable Women for 2007.
Early life
Ambrosio was born in a small town of Erechim, Brazil on April 11, 1981 to petrol station-owner parents. She is of Italian and Polish descent. She was just eight years old when she decided she wanted to be a model, after seeing a picture of top covergirl Karen Mulder in a magazine. “I wanted to be like her,” she recalls. However, she felt insecure about her appearance, particularly of her large, obvious ears. So at 11, she had cosmetic surgery done to get her ears pinned back. Unfortunately, she had complications from the surgery for the two years following. On 2006 The Tyra Banks Show, she admitted that the surgery had been a bad experience for her and that she is discouraged from having plastic surgery again.
Modeling career
When Ambrosio was 12 years old, she enrolled in modeling classes then, began modeling for Dilson Stein at age 15. Winning Brazil’s Elite Model Look started her modeling career. Her first big modeling job was the cover of the Brazilian Elle magazine. Elite passed along some of her Polaroids to Guess which led her to do the Millennium GUESS? campaign along with her friend and fellow Brazilian supermodel Ana Beatriz Barros. She has since been in huge demand, working with big-name brands including Revlon, Christian Dior, Giorgio Armani, Rolex, Oscar de la Renta, Gucci, Escada, Rocco Barocco, Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren, as well as the famed Pirelli Calendar. As for fashion shows, she has walked the catwalks for designers such as Laura Biagiotti, Christian Lacroix, Byblos, Fendi, Issey Miyake, Kenzo, Christian Dior, Nicole Miller, Ralph Lauren, Giorgio Armani, Vivienne Westwood, Oscar de la Renta, among others. She appeared in over 50 international magazine covers such as Cosmopolitan, ELLE, GQ, Harper’s Bazaar, Marie Claire, Ocean Drive, Vogue and the only model to appear on the cover of Glamour in the USA in 2006.
In 2004, Ambrosio launched her line of swimwear called Alessandra Ambrosio by Sais, a division of Rosa Cha. It sold 10,000 units in only its first month on the market.
Her best known collaboration is with American lingerie brand Victoria’s Secret. She appeared on the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show for the first time in 2000, and continues to be a participant in the subsequent shows. Her most notable walk down the runway was in 2005 wearing lingerie made entirely out of candy. In 2004, she was selected as the first spokesmodel for Victoria’s Secret PINK line. She is currently a contract ‘Angel’ and spokesmodel for Victoria’s Secret. Her ‘Angel’ status has brought her to the public’s attention being cited by the popular media as one of the world’s sexiest women. She was chosen as one of People magazine’s annual 100 Most Beautiful People in the World, in May 2007 along with fellow ‘Angels’ Ambrosio is among the world’s top-earning models.
Ambrosio is currently the face for the UK company Next and Armani A|X. Ambrosio stars Next’s first television campaign in 12 years.
Television appearances
Ambrosio has made several television appearances, notably a cameo as herself on HBO’s Entourage along with Izabel Goulart; The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn; Late Night with Conan O’Brien; as guest judge on Project Runway season 2: Team Lingerie and The Tyra Banks Show where she was a guest twice. She appeared alongside TV personality, Regis Philbin in a worldwide commercial for Hummer H2. In 2006, she had a cameo on the box-office hit movie, Casino Royale appearing briefly as tennis girl #1.
Ambrosio guest-starred on How I Met Your Mother (episode: “The Yips”) on November 26, 2007 with her fellow Victoria’s Secret supermodels Adriana Lima, Selita Ebanks, Marisa Miller, Miranda Kerr, and Heidi Klum.
Charity
Ambrosio is currently the National Ambassador for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, helping raise awareness for the unpredictable, often disabling disease of the central nervous system and raise funds for the ongoing research for its cure. Her father was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in the late nineties.
Personal life
Ambrosio loves surfing, seeing bands, caipirinha and chocolates, which she admits eating every day. She is very conscious of her figure and works out with her Brazilian trainer twice a month doing the Brazilian Butt Lift, which is a mix of samba, capoeira and aerobics.
When Ambrosio first came to New York, Gisele Bündchen lent her her apartment for two weeks and Adriana Lima helped her translate English.
She described her typical week as jetsetting from one country to another for photo shoots and in between she has some phone interviews. She still visits her family in Brazil regularly and calls Erechim, Brazil her favorite place in the world and having traveled the world has not yet convinced her otherwise. These days, she shares a New York City apartment with her lawyer sister Aline.
She is best friends with Ana Beatriz Barros.[26]
So full points for not ripping off Wikipedia, nill points for detail, and a question mark over why Ale’s listed as 5′11″ at Chickipedia, 5′10″ at Wikipedia, and 5′10″ and 112lbs (I love chunky chicks) on her own site.
Either Chickipedia needs to publish more detail and do more basic diligence, or Google images plus Wikipedia will remain a better bet for casual wankers and committed stalkers.
Then there’s the issue of Chickipedia having a page on Ann Coulter, she’s slightly less feminine than Mr. T and he has smaller hands.
By opening its archives, the New York Times has created a mine of well written, well researched background information on anything you can enter a search string for.
If you’re interested in the porn industry, here’s a listing of some the best articles they’ve written on the business. There are many more if you dig.
(You’ll need a free registration but if you don’t think the NYT archive is worth an email address you’re a hippy who should get off the internet because you’re slowing the rest of us down. You have to provide more information than that to get a library card.)
“His hand slid around the back of my neck and pulled me close - easily, no effort at all, letting me feel the power of his arms and the warm puff of his breath against my ear.”
It was a long night…
“I gasped as he slowly pushed in one finger, slippery with oil, and began to wiggle it and spread me open.”
Sex Worker Confessions: Gracie Passette
“But underneath it all, sex workers are all about bridging, in body & soul, word & deed, the irreconcilable differences between realities and desires.”
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)
Allow me to draw your attention to a fisting tutorial by Princess Donna at Kink.com (their way of telling the world “We’re about to shoot fisting” - an industry taboo which has landed people in court before.)
Fisting’s one of those things that devotees claim great things for but is actually pretty arbitrary. As the ‘fist’ isn’t a recognized measure of volume (unless they have a perfect, solid rhodium, metric fist somewhere in France), you can claim any large insertion is a fisting, and that efforts to get an entire hand into someone are both unnecessary and pointless. One woman’s fist is another guys three fingers.
That said, I can offer some advice. I’ve known some really accommodating women. Fisting’s simple. You’ll need:
A drunk partner who won’t protest your visitation rights when you suggest it.
Enough lube to make slipping a toaster under each eyelid comfortable.
Patience.
Of course, reading that’s less interesting than watching it happen to Stacy Stax on your iPod.
Though I’m sure it’s not new, this photo of Nuts 20 hottest models is new to me and I’m wondering if any of you lot can name them all (starting at 12 O’clock/180 with the brunette)?
They look ready for the ultimate foot-job which would be arousing if I could work out how to make 400 toes into a slick high-friction ring. I think I’d have to use rubber-bands but the rest isn’t yet clear.
Hazel Dooney is an Australian painter of erotica who happens to blog in a way which is inclined to make you like her more and not less (which is the the point).
After writting about her collection of sex-toys she began to receive more by mail. These examples are notable for including a Virgin Mary butt-plug and a Buddha dildo, in opposition to the ‘Mary where it’s hairy, Buddha in the bum’ rule we all grew up with.
When homosexuality was illegal in the UK, John Maynard Keynes kept a coded diary of his activities. The code’s simplicity, which uses ‘C’, ‘W’ and ‘A’ to denote events, hasn’t stopped the discussion about its meaning fierce.
C = child, W = woman and A = adult makes a lot of sense to me.
The people at More Intelligent Life (the website of the Economist spin-off) have many other ideas…
Regular readers will be glad to know I’ve now found Kyla Cole. In fact she found me, via Facebook. Go technology.
Via Kyla, I found Oliver Spillebout who has a ‘might-now-be-his-girlfriend’ load of photos of Kyla, along with other high-end smut. His taste in models is uniformly crazy-hot. We approve.
A lighter hand on the PhotoShop would be appreciated. Still worth a browse.
I pity anyone who is surprised to discover that ‘research’ sponsored by people who make money chopping the tips of infant boys cocks-off turns out not to support the beneficial effects of an unnecessary surgery.
The health reasons used to support male circumcision ranks with ‘Amputee criminals pick fewer pockets’ and ‘Eunuchs are seldom rapists’ as an argument to take a knife to a baby.
So let’s all expect some more pro-circumcision drivel any second… damn. It’s already in Wikipedia.
