I don’t remember much about launch party for the very first Tomb Raider other than my constant inept circling of the spokesmodel they’d hired to ‘be’ Lara. In the late 90’s world of gaming women were either objects to be saved or witches to be killed. This one appeared to be different. Much debate over the possible transvestite connotations of straight men pretending to be busty grave robbers was entered into. and perhaps because of that, none of us got Lara’s number.
Now for the eleventh anniversary of the series (or 10th if you count as poorly as Eidos) a lot of noise is being made about the game and the women who’ve portrayed her. Outside the mainstream, serving the obvious and immediate need of anyone who’s ever played the game and deliberately got Lara wet in order to catch a better look at her boobs, are the models who’ve unofficially become Lara in the service of slash-porn.
In their honor, and from the ridiculous to the sublime, here are the five hottest porno Lara Crofts:
#5 - Nadine Jansen
Ten points for effort, a thousand points (a side?) for those dugs and half a point for realism, that Nadine’s even bothered to dress up is notable. Nude models with tits like this don’t need to do anything to satisfy their fans beyond existing.
#4 - Petra Verkaik
The most published model in Playboy history and the hottest Dutch/Balinese woman on earth, Petra’s infamous Lara-Croft-strips-in-a-bus clip has been making people happy for years. If you account for her enormous breasts and thoroughbred body, from the neck down, Petra probably bears the closest physical resemblance to Lara of anyone on this list.
#3 - Danni Ashe
Given Lara’s massive tits, and Danni’s massive tits, this “Boob Raider” spoof was always destined to happen. Danni’s blonde hair only underscores all you need to ‘be’ Lara is a very full aquamarine T-Shirt, hotpants and a ponytail.
#2 - Lucy Clarkson
Lucy was an ‘official’ Lara, but didn’t realize she was going to be masturbated over in character when the paps caught her baps on the beach a few years back. Yum is the most appropriate word I can think of.
#1 - Aimee Sweet
Despite tough competition it’s hard to think of a better porn-Lara than Aimee. As an ex ‘Elite’ model Aimee’s one of the very few adult models who gives up nothing in beauty, height or poise to the mainstream, making being a fictional ‘perfect’ woman seem possible. Her Lara Croft set was shot by Holly Randall - making it instantly classic - and Holly went to the bother of rigging ropes and harnesses so Aimee could do Lara-type-stuff while she stripped off. Even closer in height, weight and build to Lara than Angelina Jolie is does it get any better that this?
(N.B. Google will get you all the goods on the ladies above)
C’mon, Sam, play nice now. OK, so Nadine is on my “God Bless Her She Tries” list too, but ridiculous? And ok, so Danni is a bit short for Lara, her set is still prime Danni, and that makes it better than almost anything out there.
The best non-Lara Lara has got to be the Gillian Anderson one from the X-Files. It may not be pornographic, exactly, but it was hotter that anything else even so!
JMHO
Marcus - Gillian Anderson? I never knew (and I wasn’t an X-Files watcher either). I commend them all, however tenuous the Lara connection might be - even Nadine (who’s lovely, just not that Lara like)