The last time I discussed a plugin I wanted here someone built it. Thinking it might be even easier if I offer to pay for it, though I won’t force anyone to accept, I thought I’d see what happens if I explain what I’m looking for here.
I’m looking for a Wordpress 2.1.x plugin which does the following:
Looks at any newly entered post in Wordpress - they’ll be received via RSS and created by an aggregator plugin.
Removes everything but the image in the received post (or largest image if there’s more than one).
Crops the image to the largest square possible, reduces the size of the image to a size defined in the admin section, and sharpens the result by a set amount.
Obviously the edited post should be saved again, which doesn’t seem complicated to me but neither do women and if you’ve ever taken one apart you know how messy they are inside.
Let me know if you can do the above and how much you’d like to rake me over the coals for charge me - you evil genius you.
If there’s a way of doing any of this already feel free to educate me.
The first step towards better conditions for strippers, pornsters and prostitutes is organization.
“The workers must control the means of erection.”
‘Dancers for Democracy‘ are an Ohio group trying to prevent proposed legislation which mandates strippers don’t get within six feet of customers when dancing. The dancers think it’ll decrease their earnings, exactly the cooling effect desired, but the legislature should know it won’t. You can’t apply this law to conversation and if the dances are distant there are a thousand ways to get closer before, or after, the ‘dance’ has officially finished.
The idea a separation law’s required is hilarious. If they think dancers enjoy rubbing up against strangers for a dollar they’ve never seen me offering strangers quarters to sit on my lap during rush-hour, besides lobbyists this good looking deserve to win.
Afternoon Tease is a melding of stripping burlesque and the traditional English afternoon tea which takes place on the first and third Thursday of each month at Volupté in London.
As the world has now come to realise, you can stage a donkey show without raising an eyebrow as long as you call it burlesque, refer to Bettie Page and ensure most of the women involved are brunette and a little chunky, but this sounds worthwhile. Could anyone resist almost four hours of Champagne, crust-free sandwiches, warm scones and tits?
In a similar vein, but with cooler music, Ska Burlesque pushes the definition of burlesque further still. Without the music or accouterments of the burlesque era the avoidance of the word ’stripping’ is hard to fathom. It’s just a word used by people who’ve forgotten in the time of burlesque there wasn’t a scuzzier alternative, and in the best modern strip clubs elaborate well choreographed acts are still part of the repertoire. Artful stripping is really still alive despite what the burlesque lobby seems to think (try Texas).
The next Ska Burlesque night is on May 11th and provides a perfect excuse to claim “I didn’t know they were going to have all these naked girls here, I thought Ska Burlesque was the name of a band.” Or not. I’ll be leaning against the bar trying to look musical.
If you’re prone to taking the old ‘no pain, no gain’ aphorism seriously Miss Candy might be the personal trainer you’ve been looking for. Unlike conventional fitness gurus who only hurt you by mistake, or if they enjoy it are paid to pretend they don’t, Candy make no bones (well probably just the one) about wanting to make you beg for mercy as she liquidizes your delts.
On her website the ’sweet sadist’ from Seattle (who’s also a Rat City Rollergirl) lists an hour of her company for $150, and that she doesn’t offer D/s services outside the gym environment. Compared to any other pay-for-play sexual thrills I’m aware of that’s a bargain. I sorta wish I liked getting my pulverized.
She won’t get close to your ass but she will train it and with Miss Candy on call every session has a happy ending. You pays your money…
when it comes to the gayest music in the universe I’m more a ‘Destiny’s Child vs. Bronski Beat’ kind of guy.
Your reaction to this track will depend entirely on your age. The kids out there won’t recognize this as a cover, while the aging hipsters comment on how much they preferred the original. Well kids tell those old-folk to shut their dirty mouths because the original they’re referring to ‘Tainted Love’ by ‘Soft Cell‘ is in fact a cove of ‘Tainted Love’ by Gloria ‘I killed Mark Bolan’ Jones.
I fall into neither camp being aware the original’s a cover, and that the real original’s the best of the lot. Besides when it comes to the gayest music in the universe I’m more a ‘Destiny’s Child vs. Bronski Beat‘ kind of guy.
Darling.
Richard Grey’s video for ‘Warped Bass’ (the big speaker, not the fish. Pervert.) isn’t as explicit as some recent examples I’ve shared but sexier thanks to A1 models, seriously great lighting and a lot of “JAZZ HANDS!” dance-lesbianism which feels dirty because it’s supposed to be symbolic and arty.
If you know what Marc Almond looks like, the miming in this piece is pretty disturbing. Don’t visit his wikipedia page until you’ve knocked one out.
SoBeGirl.com provide content for paysites. Like any content provider they offer interested parties free samples so, for the two of you considering building a paysite, this page of free 1500 kbps hardcore porn clips should be incredibly useful. (I wonder if they offer a version without the guys creepy post-orgasm interjections, the last thing I want to hear when I’m vacuuming man-fat off my keyboard is some dude whispering “Do you wanna swallow that for me?”)
As for the rest of you wankers move along, there’s nothing to see here.
(N.B. The young lady pictured isn’t checking to see if her lover’s wiped properly, I think the term for the act she’s involved in is a ‘Donut Wash’.)
Tehran, 30 April (AKI) - The culture committee of the Iranian parliament approved on Monday a bill sentencing to death producers of ‘pornography’, videos and films deemed vulgar by the country’s censorship. The draft law will now go to parliament where it is expected to be approved by an ample majority. Amateur porn films have a prosperous market in Iran and can fetch up to 30 euros each.
The market, tolerated for a long time, became a nationwide issue earlier this year after a porn film of popular television actress, Zohre Mir Ebrahimi, having sex with her partner, was released.
Is this story not being widely reported because killing people for the crime of holding a camera isn’t news? Or because freedom of expression doesn’t apply when sex is involved?
In the current so called ‘war’ between East and West, the people calling for battle have more in common than they think.
Seth Finkelstein "Well, I can’t prove a negative, but it’s hard to see the trademark dispute being treated as any sort of secret or private matter. If it were the cause, Xeni Jardin could just...…" on Violet Blue [more]
B&K "The author, real name Wendi Sullivan, did not warn the actress, it appears, but did brag to friends that she was going to do this. Wendi has pro-bono legal representation, and the actress could not...…" on Violet Blue [more]
Tom B "I would have thought that if it was the full reason Boing Boing took the action they did they’d be public about it as their stance on copyright/etc. seems to be their rallying call. Oh well....…" on Violet Blue [more]
Seth Finkelstein "While for a while I thought the trademark case might indeed be the reason, it doesn’t hold up on further investigation. The “unpublishing” ; took place late July? August?...…" on Violet Blue [more]
rich "I’m confused - why wouldn’t the dissimilar industry clause kick in and allow one Violet Blue who was a writer and another who was a sex performer?…" on Violet Blue [more]
