In Ohio Rep. Michael DeBose (D) and Sen. Kevin Coughlin (R) have proposed legislation that would require convicted sex offenders to affix easily identified bright green license plates to their cars.
Genius.
Telling children to avoid getting into cars with green plates is a fantastic way of protecting them because sex offenders have always been previously convicted, and it’s basically impossible to remove a number plate that’s been attached with screw technology. Better yet, if any kids do get abused, green plates will make ’street justice’ easier to administer.
You’re from Illinois!? My bad! Don’t try and talk your jaw’s kinda… off.
We can also look forward to the ’sex offender’ pool of cars at Ohio rental outlets with the green plates pre-installed. Low mileage, easy wipe down interiors…
The website for ‘Preggo Abuse‘ advertises “Miscarriage or Bust!” on its homepage.
It’s not funny, and only shocking due to the implication they’re trying to cause spontaneous abortions in their performers. AVN reports but makes no comment.
What’s wrong with these people?
Why in the world of post-modern porn must any expression of taste, discernment or humanity be viewed as a call for censorship? Publish this crap all you want but please, let us know that the world hasn’t been totally subsumed by the idiocracy.
I have a couple of small jobs for a talented designer (or two).
First, a project I’m working on needs a raft of emoticons/smileys. They need to be original, recognizable, hip, earth shatteringly beautiful and cheap.
Oh yeah, they need to look good 12px square too.
I’m guessing someone’s already knocked-out a bunch of the things they’d be willing to sell on. If not it’s an easy gig for a cartoonist or illustrator with computer skills (they need to be delivered at 12px and 128px sizes as .ai or .psd files to allow for scaling).
The other job is pure web design. Normally I don’t have much for designers to do but right now I need someone with mad CSS/HTML skills and a love of standards and browser compatibility (aroused yet?) The job will be fixing/amending layouts which will be fed into a database publishing system. Some work’s been done on the layouts but I think the finish and design can be improved. If you’re hung up on web 2.0 fromage (reflections, pink text, huge RSS logos etc) shoot yourself. Shoot yourself now. I’m serious.
Email me if you’re interested in either role. Let me know which gig you’re interested in and send me links to stuff. None of this work is adult related (I have a secret non-porn identity…)
Every time I do this I find genius ninja rock-stars. I’m excited.
The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them.
This Week’s Picks The Adrenaline Moment (http://theprovocateur.wordpress.com)
“As soon as they stood, I was certain they spotted me - for they rose and both walked right up to the tall windows before them”
Bewitch Us Both! (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)
“She’s starting to breath shallow as your tongue makes its way along her outer lips, followed by one, two then three fingers.”
All Dressed Up And No-one To Fuck (http://joeheather.blogspot.com)
“The bra and thong stayed, though. I love to fuck my woman when she’s still partially clothed. ”
The case for me having a lingerie fetish, and ‘Little Sagan’, just got a fraction harder to ignore.
It seems that before Fedde le Grand will remix your tune you must agree to shoot a babe filled ‘aircore’ video. Enter Camille Jones, who’s probably wondering why she’s not on screen more.
You might wonder why she bothered to show up at all, or ponder what the director told her the video would contain - she never shares the screen with Fedde, or any of the dancers, and seems to have shot in an entirely different location. Surely she couldn’t think ’shoulder fugging’ would cut it for the full 150 seconds? My guess is the record company worked out it’d be easy to get fawning coverage from horny bloggers if they shoehorned enough sex into the promo.
Hang on…
Geeks, have fun spotting the ‘Secretary’ references. Wankers, I’m sure you’re aware of your options.
The case for me having a lingerie fetish, and ‘Little Sagan’, just got a fraction harder to ignore. In my defense, is there anyone who doesn’t like a glimpse of thigh at the top of a well-turned leg?
The London Burlesque Festival is going to be a hoot. I know because I’m going to be there with my camera, behind-the-scenes access to performers, and my Fischer ‘Space Pen’ (the finest writing device on the planet bar none).
In Los Angeles and California burlesque has grown from genuine niche interest through to semi-mainstream entertainment (again) thanks to Dita Von Teese and bars like ‘40 Deuce’. The UK’s finally catching up - Dita’s shows last year were sold out - and now Chaz Royal is betting the farm he can make burlesque in London an event worth travelling for. With a line-up like this I think he can.
It’s not cheap but I am sure it’ll sell-out. Don’t say you weren’t the first to know.
Here’s the official release.
Chaz Royal’s International London Burlesque Festival
May 9-10-11-12, 2007
For Immediate Release: March 7th 2007
Over the past decade the art of Burlesque has grown to near mainstream popularity in North America. In recent years this Burlesque Revival has shimmied it’s way back across ‘The Pond’ currently taking the UK by storm! It was only a matter of time before this ‘Neo Burlesque Renaissance’ would generate the demand for an international showcase in a contemporary city that continues to maintain it’s nostalgic aesthetic and reputation as one of the greatest cultural epicenters of the world…
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Chaz Royal’s International London Burlesque Festival, premiering May 9-12th, 2007. Produced by the Infamous Chaz Royal Aka ‘The King of Burlesque’.
Chaz Royal is a name that sets the precedent in Burlesque entertainment worldwide having produced Burlesque events in over 200 cities and being the first to successfully book Burlesque tours across North America, the UK and Europe. With over 15 years of experience in the entertainment industry, all of Chaz Royal’s groundbreaking endeavors have culminated to the Burlesque world’s grandest events for 2007!
The London Burlesque Festival will expose Londoners as well as Burlesque connoisseurs across the Globe to over 75 of the world’s best Ecdysiasts who have been selected from over 300 applicants hailing from North America, Europe, Australia, the Netherlands and the UK. The festival will feature a variety of acts ranging from the nostalgic traditional style of Burlesque’s early years to 50’s ‘Bump and Grind’ as well as more modern avant-garde interpretations that are growing in popularity with Neo Burlesque’s younger set.
There will be 5 showcases of sultry song, sizzling strip tease and Burlesque pageantry at it’s best that will take place in three of London’s finest districts over the span of four fabulous nights. This landmark festival is sure to sell out, but only members of Chaz Royal’s Kingdom will receive priority admittance and seating for most of the showcases. For more details on the London Burlesque Festival and how to become a member of Chaz Royal’s growing Kingdom, please visit http://www.londonburlesquefestival.com *All tickets can be purchased exclusively through the website.
LBF Showcase Details:
Glitterati Opening Gala:
Wednesday May 9, 2007 @ Madame Jo Jo’s, 8-10 Brewer Street Soho.
8pm Doors, 9:30pm Showtime, Tickets
£10 Advance. Free admittance to all LBF performers.
The one and only opening party that allows everyone the opportunity to mingle and have a photo op with the stars of today’s Burlesque Revival in an intimate setting. Hosted by one of neo burlesque’s pioneers and founder of the world renown Fluffgirl Burlesque Society from Canada (www.fluffgirlburlesque.com), Cecilia Bravo, ‘The Carol Burnet of Burlesque’. Entertainment will include Burlesque performances punctuated by local musical guests, 60’s raunch quintet, The Fabulous Penetrators and musical styling of international jet setting DJ, Healer Selecta who has been touted as the DJ who has ‘Made London Swing Again’- Mojo Music Magazine. We advise you to bring your sunglasses because the Paparazzi will be circulating!
UK ‘Locals Only’ Revue:
Thursday May 10, 2007 @ Soho Revue Bar, 11 Walkers Court Road Brewer Street Soho
8pm Doors, 9:30pm Showtime, Tickets
£12.50 Advance.
A whimsical evening filled with the best of British Burlesque, hosted by the lovely and witty Miss Ivy Paige who has graced stages and cabarets across the UK and Europe. There will be over 20 sassy strip teasing lasses from the English roses of England’s famed countryside to those posh local Londoners. Featured artists include the UK’s premiere Neo-Burlesque company, Brighton’s Vavavavoom, Erotic Poetry by the renown Anne Pigalle and some of London’s best troupes, The Teasemaids, Hurly Burly & more. With the shake and the quake of this British invasion, once they drop their frilly britches they might even make London’s bridge fall down!
‘Battle Royale’ Newcomers Contest:
Friday May 11, 2007 @ Neighbourhood, 12 Acklam Road Notting Hill
9pm Doors, 10pm Showtime, Tickets
£8.50 Advance.
One of Neo-Burlesque’s rising stars will have a chance to shine brightly in this Burlesque ‘Battle Royale’. A showcase and competition featuring Burlesque’s newest starlets, these neophytes will be competing for the coveted title of ‘Best Newcomer’ and
£500 in cash and prizes. The winner will be based on the audiences response so come out and rally for your favorite strip teaser because once those sequined braziers come off, your applause will be the only support they will have!
The International Gala:
Saturday May 12, 2007 @ Bush Hall, 310 Uxbridge Road *2 Spectacular Events*
VIP Reception
: 6pm Doors, 6:30pm Showtime, Tickets £29.50 Advance.
*Please note there will be no walk up Tickets for this event.
The Jetsetters Ball
: 9:30pm Doors, 10pm Showtime, Tickets £24.50 advance/ £40 at the door.
Two extraordinary shows in one night. The VIP Reception will be a fully seated soiree for advance ticket holders only. The Jetsetters Ball will feature the same show but cater to the late night crowd that will want to ‘Shake a Tail Feather’ on the dance floor after the main attraction. The Jetsetters Ball will be standing room only!
Both events will showcase la créme de la créme of the International Burlesque jet set, headlined by the incomparable, world renown ‘Queen of British Burlesque,’ Gwendoline Lamour (www.gwendolinelamour.com). Featuring Fetish cover model and Burlesque beauty from the USA, Angela Ryan AKA ‘The Living Doll’ (www.angelaryan.com), belly dance and Burlesque sweetheart Miss Beeby from Amsterdam, International Burlesque Sensation Cecilia Bravo (www.fluffgirlburlesque.com) from Canada and many more notable Burlesque stars from around the globe. This grandiose gala will be hosted by comedic strip tease artiste from San Francisco USA, The Indra (www.theindra.com) and co-hosted by Vincent Drambuie from Seattle USA. The pinnacle of all showcases, with it’s cavalcade of Burlesque beauties and finery, this International Gala will be one curtain call not to be missed!
(In case you’re wondering what I’m going to do with all that exclusive footage… anyone else miss ‘Podnography’?)
The National Organization of Women thinks Dolce & Gabbana’s new ad’s a little too rapey.
I’m not sure how five gay guys professional mannequins would go about raping an anorexic model but I think it needs explaining.
I can’t help thinking the people who see the ‘rape’ in this ad also think ‘Leon‘ (’The Professional’ if you’re American) is about a pedophile, and keep shouting ‘Who is it?’ at the TV every time this Apple ad comes on.
Sure, the D&G ad’s kinky, if you squint a bit, but rape? Listen, if she didn’t want to be held down she shouldn’t have worn such a short dress.
Remember when fashion advertising didn’t mess around when it came to offending people? Ah, memories…
[ev type="youtube" data="vZVk21Pco-c"][/ev]
TreeHugger’s ‘How to Green Your Sex Life‘ is on the interesting side of ‘batshit-mad’, leaning over the fence, considering making the leap. Vegetarian’s taste better? That chestnut’s straight from a PETA action pack (and I have been a vegetarian for many years so stop writing that fucking email right now).
Greenpeace’s advice to “…ensure S&M paddles are made from sustainably harvested timber,” is my personal favorite. Doms are supposed to ‘tread lightly’ on the planet while laying into subs because the planet can be damaged forever unless we’re careful with it, while people… er… never mind.
Moving on…
We’ve all considered it. You borrow a friend’s phone, take a photo of your biscuits and send it to their entire address book pretending to be the phone’s owner. Hilarity ensues.
Why when a twelve year old steals an eleven year old’s phone, takes a picture of her junk and then sends it to ten people pretending to be the phone’s owner did someone call the police? Why should a kid get labeled as a deviant for a prank in which the only genitalia on display was their own? Who exactly was hurt by this? What ever happened to a telling off?
As for female teachers having sex with 16 year olds - how did that get out of my head and into reality? Anyone mind if I imagine a Cate Blanchett type? Sorry Miss I forgot my homework. Extra credit? How…?
‘m not ashamed to say I rock tighty-whities - if you’re shipping a Henry Moore you strap it down in the truck - and these are possibly the greatest underwear ever made.
Normally I just look for something with the lifting capacity I require with a waistband which doesn’t suggest my self-esteem is linked directly to my underpants (it’s linked directly to what’s in them. I’m a man). That’s why this pair is so life-changing.
When you’re the kind of guy people assume has an elephant in their pants, it gets tiring having to turn your pockets inside out and open your fly in order to prove your point. These bad boys have the picture of an elephant on the front and, in case that’s not enough, real, waggable, ears.
They’re by Intimissi and God-damn are they comfortable. Wearable porn. It’s going to be a lucky night.
(NB: Some people think I shouldn’t be allowed to use money.)
Just before I bought the elephant pants I was in Soho and this bottle called my name.
In the base of the bottle is the figure of a standing man holding a woman, with her legs wrapped around his waist, off the floor. Her hands are thrown over her head because she’s having a good time. I’m pretty sure they’re fucking. Sorry it’s so hard to see but the camera in my phone is an overpriced afterthought.
Loveland (and I’m not talking about the great R. Kelly’s mid-period work) is one of those things that’s too sexually unusual not to be blogged about.
Kind of like R. Kelly’s mid-period work.
The last images I saw from the park focused on the naked women parading around on … fuck, I don’t know… ‘Get naked at Loveland Day’ - I guess. The park, if you’ve not seen it, is stuffed with sexually themed sculpture and models. Some at giant sizes.
The pictures posted here spend a lot more time looking at the weirder exhibits - which is saying something - and it’s making me want to put on my elephant underpants and get over there. It’s telling that free of religiously based puritanism being an adult’s a lot of fun.
Seth Finkelstein "Well, I can’t prove a negative, but it’s hard to see the trademark dispute being treated as any sort of secret or private matter. If it were the cause, Xeni Jardin could just...…" on Violet Blue [more]
B&K "The author, real name Wendi Sullivan, did not warn the actress, it appears, but did brag to friends that she was going to do this. Wendi has pro-bono legal representation, and the actress could not...…" on Violet Blue [more]
Tom B "I would have thought that if it was the full reason Boing Boing took the action they did they’d be public about it as their stance on copyright/etc. seems to be their rallying call. Oh well....…" on Violet Blue [more]
Seth Finkelstein "While for a while I thought the trademark case might indeed be the reason, it doesn’t hold up on further investigation. The “unpublishing” ; took place late July? August?...…" on Violet Blue [more]
rich "I’m confused - why wouldn’t the dissimilar industry clause kick in and allow one Violet Blue who was a writer and another who was a sex performer?…" on Violet Blue [more]
