When I started this blog I dreamed that by combining my unique experience across the entertainment industry, with a belief in unfettered sexuality and a love of hot bodies I could create a unique intersection of opinion and sex-positive entertainment.
So this morning I got an email from a woman who’s trying to replace her favorite dildo (pictured).
She writes:
“This is my “toy” and it is getting a bit worn. Don’t remember where I got it. There is a logo on the bottom that looks like a star with a string of lettering.”
Of course she came to the right place, my dildo knowledge is unmatched by any man outside West Hollywood. Finally, an opponent worthy of me. Watson, fetch my pipe.
Cross-checking this image with the ‘International Ass-Rammers’ database in Switzerland drew a blank, and spectral analysis of the photo reveals a plastic composition too widely used to track down any more specifically than - China. My atomic force microscope does offer some hope. At 100,000x magnification I see letters embedded in the center of the device which read “So dark the con of man.”
Any ideas?
I’m sure the sender of this email will grace me with an answer to the question “Where exactly do you stick that anyway” which I will share with you if we manage to replace it.
Damn that was a funny post.
Sam you’re such a trooper. Helping women in need of an orgasm fix.
Vix - Anything I can do to help the ladies…
If she doesn’t find an exact match, Tantus Silicone makes many wonderful things, and the lifespan on silicone is much longer than jelly, so if she finds true love again, it will stick around longer.
http://tantusinc.com/plugs.php
I had a cheap shitty Doc Johnson dildo with a base just like that one, though. It ended up chemically melting into another cheap shitty toy and ruining the cool box I stores my sex toys in.
Furry - Excellent stuff. I’m sure she’ll understand you’re using ‘cheap, shitty’ in it’s technical sense