Of the three ways to guarantee you’re going to get laid (ether, rohypnol and chocolate) chocolate is both the cheapest and most legal to administer.
Normally when I want to impress I make do with a selection of M&M’s with the printing rubbed off and throw into an old box from Jean-Paul Hevin. Now thanks to Giraudi, I have a better option.
After living so long in the US, when I saw this box in my local fromagerie I did a bad-movie style double take.
Forgoing the hearts and flowers most chocolatiers use to express carnality, Giraudi’s gone straight to the world’s oldest sex-manual and sculpted explicit three-ways, spit-roasts, wheelbarrows and other stuff I don’t have the vocabulary for and created tiny edible sex tableaus.
In the shop I bought these in, they were also selling the tablets separately, allowing cheaper more creative lovers to fine-tune their suggestions based on the prevailing mood (Does she look ready for… ah, yes… the half-twist-upright-sixty-nine. Open wide my darling.)
Forgive the poor photography. Chocolate melts faster than a fratboys erection under lights and the Giraudi website’s got even worse shots than this. I was so turned on looking at little candy people fuck I found it hard to concentrate.
Click to enlarge
When you put these chocolates in front of your date, it’s clear someone’s about to get fucked. At about £13 – $26 – for eight 2 inch tablets it’s probably your accountant.
(submitted by Randy Watson)
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I have to say, chocolate, flowers et al, have little effect on me: I’m not particularly bowled over by them.
This chocolate however, would definitely impress me were I to be given some. At the very least, it deserves a good licking, I think. And the chocolate too.
I like chocolate, and I know some people that love the chocolate as well. Hell, I think I can know several female women that would LOVE to receive this as a gift. Hmmmmmmm….
Girl – I’ve noted that and when I see you will come prepared.
Chris – I’ll be taking orders until Valentines day. My usual commission of course…
WOW!
Porn in my chocolate, I don’t know if I can handle that!
A pox on V-Day, Sam. If it were a physical manifestation, I’d kick it in the taco.
Shay – Handle it. You’ll get used to the weight.
Chris – Harsh man. V-day’s good when you’re copying the positions on sexual chocolate.
Bah.
Chris – Or go here, if you’re anti-VD like me:
http://www.meish.org/vd/