“Perhaps you’re a man who grabs life by the cuff. You live life your way. And it shows…in the clothes you wear…in the women you love…and in the car you drive The Subaru GL Coupe is waiting for you. Sleek. Agile. The sculptured lines of the one piece body invite you in. With front wheel drive she’s different. A step ahead of the others. Go to her. Let her cradle you in the softness of her highback reclining bucket seats. Surround yourself with the lushness of her interior appointments. The GL Coupe is ready. Now. Turn her on. Lead her to the open road. This is where the Subaru GL Coupe wants to be. Unleash the relentless power of her 1400cc quadrozontal engine. Control the Coupe’s every movement — her every twist and turn — as you take hold of her rack and pinion steering. She’ll make it smooth with her four wheel independent suspension. She’ll carry you away as she peaks to the red line of her tach. The Subaru GL Coupe is yours. Waiting for you. And one more good thing, she costs so little to keep happy.”
While many wonder about the manner in which porn’s marketed, and it’s assumptions about how we perceive women, it’s worth remembering that in 1973 ‘women taming’ wasn’t even considered funny.
Taylor Lane Typography (who probably didn’t inspire Taylor Rain to choose her moniker - but let’s not underestimate her, it’s possible) produced a calendar in 2005 which combined type, sex and cleverness to increase turnover by 25%
Sex + Clever sells. Who’s going to tell the pornographers?
The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them.
This Week’s Picks Me, Her, and Him 3 (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)
“But as sexually satisfied as he kept Kendall — or as satisfied as one man could — she was yearning for another kind of action.”
Polyamory vs. Polyfuckery (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)
“I admire Rachel’s altruism, despite her saying it’s a practical matter of what it takes to get her wet.”
A is for Abandon (http://redvelvetropeburn.com)
“The hands pressed into her lower back and she wanted to ask Him if He had felt them but her orgasm overtook her and she lost all conscious thought for a few moments.”
When I’m not apologizing, traveling or blogging I spend my time trying to spot the trends which make my input worth putting me on a plane for, giving me the opportunity to mess up and then blog about.
As YouTube gets crushed under a weight of nearly-nude pornography (which isn’t a conceptual pile-up if you acknowledge porn’s defined as anything designed to arouse) I’m noticing an increasing abercrombieandfitchification (real word) in the world of porn photography.
Finger Bang, is a good example. A tiny hardback book, designed to arouse and amuse, it looks like porn made by people with some talent and no knowledge of Sydnee Steele, Jenna J or Buttman. More refreshingly it’s hasn’t sailed up the dead-end alley represented by ‘alt’ porn, trapped inside a gallery of its own cliches and crushed creatively by ‘alt’er than thou’ posturing.
The cleverest trick of all this ‘2nd Wave’ porn? Convincing people it’s not porn at all…
The debateaboutrevenues in the adult industry is everywhere and Christ-on-a-dildo is it wrong. Too many smart people with too little experience of major adult websites are dismissing the value of the internet.
Newspaper hacks can’t do much better. Websites, as private concerns, don’t publish books and are thus impervious to journalist driven forensic accounting. Given the big companies aversion to being investigated by the tax authorities (though I’ve watched it happen to zero effect - my porn guys are the good guys) the only people able to honestly discuss the income of the web-industry are insiders who’ve seen the books and even one of those isn’t enough.
To asses the web business you have to know about the workings of more than one company, and the only people fitting that description have been inside the handful of billing companies which handle transaction processing for the big websites. Your ideal informant has worked within a major billing company and has had board level access to companies on every side of the online adult industry, content sites, TGP and video-chat.
That’d be me then.
Forbes are quoting Playboy (which is like interviewing Huell Howser for a piece on ‘The best paid people on TV’) and everyone else has assumed the video retail industry is the bulk of modern porn because they don’t know any better. I do. As someone who’s seen the subscriber and revenue numbers for more of the major adult companies than any-one else writing on the subject, I can tell you that there are billions missing from the current debate.
Allow me to break it down:
The average tier-1 adult website charges $20 a month and has 20-40K subscribers. That’s $400k a month per site, or $4.8M a year, and a conservative estimate puts the number of sites on that level world wide at 100. That’s $500M a year of business without looking at the talented amateurs, the top tier of whom are also clearing $1M per anum and who number in the hundreds.
Video-chat sites (iFriends, IMLive, CamContacts, LiveJasmin etc) charge an average of $1.50 a minute and the biggest players have an an average total take of about $150 a minute. That’s $216K a day which, even when split 50/50 with chat-hosts and minus running costs provide $100K a day, or $3M a month (yes, there are the costs of running an affiliate program to factor in, but I’m being conservative in my other assumptions and accounting for that expense by underestimating in other areas. E.g. Most companies don’t split 50/50 with chathosts, and 100 active conversations at $1.50 a minute is less than the big guys are averaging - most of them handling fewer chats but at significantly greater average revenue). There are roughly 10 sites of that size and, though the drop-off is sharp, the top 3 are all making over $100M a year and the #1 player is bringing in well over $300M. These figures are not guesses and the top 10 live video-chat sites thus represent over $1B in revenue.
More philosophically, can our definition of ‘porn’ remain rational while including Playboy and excluding Nuts and Loaded, while all three publish identical photos with identical intentions. If porn is defined by content, not the press releases put out by fearful publishers, we should include everything that’s designed as sexual entertainment and include NN (nearly nude) sites too (tell me this nudity-free site isn’t porn). ‘Demi-porn’ is a growing sector which isn’t being counted by anyone but which can only be left out of industry discussions using the same blinkers the video guys use to ignore the web.
Jenna Jameson doesn’t make as much hard-cash as some of the biggest amateurs in Canada and she’s at the top of the performer tree (though she performs so little it’s get-ting hard to put her in that category). Though the average porn-performer makes more than the average adult webmaster, there are just a few hundred working adult performers on the planet, there are tens of thousands of webmasters. Sites you’ve never heard of are making $1M a month and many more in the $10-$100K range operate completely under the radar. No one who understands the difference between gross and net would rather own Vivid Pictures than The Hun because in porn a sole-trader with a PC and a basement can easily out-perform a corporation with product in every adult store in America.
Yes, the porn industry’s smaller than the $10-12B so often bandied about and enthusiastically swatted down, but video, TV and cable are just the public face of a very private enterprise. The global internet business is worth billions, even if estimates are limited to the conservative back-of-the-envelope sketches presented here. Factoring in the long-tail and demi-porn you’d have to double those estimates. Suddenly those ridiculous numbers don’t look as off as some are suggesting - and the web looks a hell of a lot bigger than the video market. Amazingly, in 2006, this seems to be news.
This trailer… has all the hot group-sex, Milla Jovovich, cum as face cream action you could ask for.
The ‘original’ movie version of Caligula, written by Gore Vidal, was famous for being funded by Penthouse owner Bob Guccione. He assembled a crew of 1st rate actors, shot the movie, and then inserted scenes of hard-core porn designed to ‘punch it up’ in the editing room. Classic, and worth seeig for Helen Mirren’s breasts alone.
This trailer, which seems attached to a remake, is actually an art piece made for the 2005 Biennale di Venezia (Venice Biennale) and has all the hot group-sex, Milla Jovovich, cum as face cream action you could ask for.
Don’t panic. The art’s pretty odourless and the porn in this parody’s intact.
PS. Please stop sending this to me. Send me other stuff instead.
Last year I, and my penis, fell in love with Tuuli.
I didn’t know this diplomats daughter, raised in Russia, was also Rankin’s muse at the time, but she did do enough to the normally calm environs of my underwear to prompt me to post these photos of her having sex from Arena. Pure demi-porn.
Today I received a copy of ‘Tuulitastic‘ - a “photographic love letter” to the woman Rankin can’t stop shooting. If you have ever thought a blonde was attactive this book will turn your mind to shit. It’s like being inside Brian de Palma’s head after it’s been filled with fembots and flashlights.
Every time I look at this book I want to shoot Tuuli’s face too. Rankin’s a lucky boy.
Bondage and sex in American porn don’t mix. Juries are traditionally wary of BDSM because restraint makes consent hard to gauge but producers are pushing the boundaries, and scenes of sex and bondage which have until recently been limited to the web (where everyone’s stupid/ignorant/offshore) are now making it onto DVD.
The Mitsubishi Evo IX is the best value performance car you can buy. Capable of getting to sixty miles-an-hour in less than five seconds, using a 2 litre engine, with four passengers, for $30,000. Logic dictates that anyone with a brain would choose the fuel efficient, four-door Mitsubishi over a twice as expensive, two-door, single passenger Porsche 911 which accelerates no faster. They don’t. Porsche is the most profitable car company in the world and Mitsubishi drivers secretly wish they could drive Porsches.
Jesus PhoneApple’s iPhone, the most anticipated product in consumer electronics history, will change how people use the web and in the six months between today and the time it lands in shops we’ll have to remake our websites in anticipation of the shift. If anyone doubts Apple’s ability to sell a $600 phone/PDA/internet device ask yourself if the Apple brand is a Porsche or a Mitsubishi. Cost is not a factor, desirability is everything.
People like me, who’ve resisted the key-laden horror of Blackberry’s, and who are too grown-up to use a sidekick (anything used by Paris Hilton is off the ‘cool’ roll-call forever) now have another option. Apple are pretending they’re selling a phone, though it’s obvious making calls is the least of iPhone’s abilities. It’s a personal media player (iPod) which ships with the highest resolution seen ever seen on a mainstream device. With 480×320 pixels of resolution it matches DVD and given it’s small size will look better than DVD ever did. Everything a Blackberry does, iPhone does too, and better than anything, it allows users to surf the web without recourse to special formats, lost images or geekery.
Apple have also defined how people will get media into their pocket. Instead of messing around with wireless downloads the iPhone will leech media from your computer though iTunes. They understand that even if we could download media to our phones over a super-fast wireless connection we’d want to view it on our other devices so why not download it using the most appropriate device in the house - a computer - and share it with all our other devices as desired. Wireless data transfer is saved for information we need on the move like email.
For website owners iPhone means making sites that play nice on a 480 pixel screen (despite iPhone’s ability to manage larger screens why make it any harder than necessary?) and making media easy to get into iTunes via RSS. It’s not the only way to do things but Apple have a track record, the best marketing on the planet and products people lust after. Even if you think Apple borg are Kool-Aid-and-Nike toting imbeciles, their numbers are growing and Apple’s selling more music than Amazon.
“The iPhone breaks two basic axioms of consumer technology. One, when you take an application and put it on a phone, that application must be reduced to a crippled and annoying version of itself. Two, when you take two devices—such as an iPod and a phone—and squish them into one, both devices must necessarily become lamer versions of themselves. The iPhone is a phone, an iPod, and a mini-Internet computer all at once, and contrary to Newton—who knew a thing or two about apples—they all occupy the same space at the same time, but without taking a hit in performance. In a way iPhone is the wrong name for it. It’s a handheld computing platform that just happens to contain a phone.”
Del.icio.us, the spike heeled bitch-mother of social bookmarking sites, is by virtue of its construction, naturally resistant to spam. Anyone reading its RSS feeds can be sure they’re seeing a reasonable snapshot of what’s grabbing the attention of blog readers making it a uniquely valuable source of metadata.
We need a small team of experts for a project I’m working on. It’s not adult (I know - sad huh?) and there is equity on the table for the right people. A full-time commitment will be needed for at least 8-weeks, potentially leading to a more permanent position. Skills that pay the bills should be evident, though flashy resumes are less valuable than mad-skills and the right attitude.
The work involves implementing a web application that draws on a lot of current buzz-word friendly ideas in a novel way. We are trying to do something cool and if you’re the kind of person who’s always thinking of smarter, leaner ways to do things we’d like to hear from you. Yes it’s social, yes it’s video, no it’s not just another ‘rate this clip’ site.
We need at least one Flash developer with a good understanding of video (you should be able to do YouTube type stuff but, and I can’t overstress this, the job is not a YouTube clone) and we also need people capable of building a content management system. Finally a technically oriented designer/programmer who can generate standards compliant CSS/HTML as easily as breathing and who has a good grounding in AJAX will complete the gang (please note, designers who can’t produce data/user driven AJAX sites are lovely people but not right for this job - this isn’t about building pretty homepages).
Send cover letters and resumes to my email. Please let me know what you can do and provide links to examples of your work. Further detail will be provided on receipt of a signed non-disclosure agreement.
Applications from development teams are welcome, and please note this is an opportunity that’s being advertised in a number of other locations. Good luck.
However, if you’d like to see what it took Michelle Manhart to get ‘relieved of her duties’ I can help. I warn you, it’s dull.
(links removed at the request of Tatyana Cherkashina @ Playboy citing the DCMA)
Amazingly the press still pretends people in this position are surprised when they’re reprimanded thus feeding Playboy, and its models, the publicity they hoping for.
As for the military - Playboy hot training officers seems more like a recruiting tool than a cause of concern to me.
(NB: I know plastic surgery’s free to those who serve but are those falsies the best the Army can do? They look like cheap hamburger two pool balls in baloney socks)
Kirk Johnson has been revealad as the man behind the stomach-showing, email this to your friends, ‘Goatse’ image beloved of Shasty McNasty fans everywhere.
An unknown investigator, who we have to assumes a devotee of anal stretching, has managed to match the mole on Johnson’s mangina to that seen in the famous image solving one of the internet’s least troubling mysteries.
I’d link to the original goatse, if that could be done without looking at it. As it can’t, just Google it and steel yourself but you’ve seen it already so why go through that all again?
Looking at modern porn it’s obvious that a lot of people behind the camera think goatse-like images - gapes - are sexy. Maybe Kirk Johnson’s about to become a big, bright, shining, star…
Aside from 40yrs being a sentence more fitting for someone who kill kids than one who shows them tits, where is there any evidence of harm? Admittedly, I wouldn’t want the girl I bought from Ukrainian gypsies who lives in my garage to see websites which might corrupt her, like stuff on lock-picking or nutrition, but I couldn’t justify charging someone who did as a criminal. The kids involved in this, seventh graders (12-13 years old) are probably interested in nothing more than why their nipples ache and where that hair comes from.
The teacher’s story sounds like a combination of lies and idiocy in an unknown proportion but forty years inside is a very high price to pay for stupidity.
In Episode 16 of “The Skeptics Guide to the Universe” Glenn G. Sparks, professor of communication at Purdue University discusses his detailed studies of violence in movies. He has found:
Watching violence increases violent behavior in viewers
Watching violence does not have a cathartic effect on viewers
Violent films aren’t enjoyed more than non-violent ones
The intensity of an emotion experienced while watching a movie is a direct function of the the emotion which precedes it, regardless of whether the emotions are similar in tone. I.e. the adrenaline released while watching violence enhances the emotions stirred by what follows it, whatever that might be, supporting the old adage, Fear - Death = Fun.
Assuming he’s right, does this affect the way anyone thinks about the ethics of violent pornography?
As Strauss’s pick-up book sold-out and devolved into a cheesy love story, this document suggests (How to Make Money Like a Porn Star) is mired in conventional negativity
Neil Strauss, author of the pick-up guide ‘The Game‘, made his bones as a journalist and ghost author. For jizz-bizz followers he’s known as the guy who turned Jenna’s ‘…like, you-know, it was totally kinda…’ verbalizing into ‘How to Make Love Like a Porn Star ‘ for Regan Books in 2004.
Jenna’s book was controversial - at least before Regan Books head honcho Judith Regan tried to publish OJ’s ‘If I did it’ and then accused ‘the jews’ of ganging up on her, actions which ended her company.
‘How to Make Money Like a Porn Star‘ was Neil ‘Jew’ Strauss’s follow-up, a Jenna free graphic novel he felt qualified to write after his time on the wet-end of the porn industry.
‘Claudia’s Activity Book’ is a bizarre eight-page PDF produced as part of the marketing campaign for the title which I got sent this morning. It’s supposed to give potential readers a flavor of the book but makes it look as if Strauss was incapable of finding anything in porn not already believed by O’Reilly fans.
It’s the funniest thing I’ve seen today.
(Click image to enlarge ~ 780k)
As Strauss’s pick-up book sold-out and devolved into a cheesy love story, this document suggests HTMMLAPS is mired in conventional negativity (I guess I’ll never know because I don’t plan on paying for it). Anti-porn cliche from Jenna Jameson’s ghost author? As ironic as rain on your wedding day (or a free ride when you’ve already paid). Do you think she’s read it?
(Check out the Publisher’s Weekly review for an evisceration of the book worthy of Vlad the Impaler)
$10,000 breasts are worth $10,000 because they look free.
For all who claimed my criticism of Michelle Manhands Manhart’s tits was unfair, I present a pair of celebrity pair of breasts which, though connected to a woman who would couldn’t coax a dishonorable discharge from my soldier given the assistance of her mouth and mother, are a glorious example of the surgeon’s art.
$10,000 breasts are worth $10,000 because they look free.
The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as voted for by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #63? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.
This Week’s Picks Slut (http://lafillemariee.blogspot.com)
“I fucked one man at the request of another, in exactly the way asked for. Then I reported what happened to the one who requested it.”
When Clients Look Like Relatives (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)
“I walked out the door, saw a man standing there and almost puked.”
Low Class Stripper? Classism and society’s view of adult entertainment (http://fullfrontalpolitics.com)
“For a lot of women sex work is a last-ditch option, something we all consider in the back of our minds when we’re growing up; we ask ourselves once or twice, if we needed the money, would we strip?”
I’d skin my parents and turn their hides into luggage if I thought it’d get me into to Angie’s tattooed peach-fish.
This isn’t about to become a boob-log (okay, it might) but it is relevant, when discussing breast augmentation and other body mods (and implants are a body modification, just like splitting your tongue), to know the difference between real and fake.
A lot of people think Angelina Jolie has a big, plump, possibly plastic, pair of milkers. By the end of this post you’ll know she doesn’t and be able to amaze friends at dinner parties.
Make no mistake, I’d skin my parents and turn their hides into luggage if I thought it’d get me into to Angie’s tattooed peach-fish. She’s stunning. Even covered in body-art tributes to penis that isn’t mine and with a flock of Technicolor orphans in tow. I like her. A lot. In a pretty basic way.
Clockwise from top left, ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’, ‘Original Sin’, ‘Gia’ and ‘Fuck me I married a corpse’.
Please note that, though not flat chested, Ms. Jolie’s dugs have the heft and droop of natural breasts which have spent many hours unsupported.
The question of their naturalness is answered and betrayed by the ‘pancake effect’, the way her ‘happy taps’ disappear when she’s on her back. While natural breasts roll off to the side of a woman’s chest, falsies move up towards their owners shoulders. Angelina’s fall sideways and I put it to you, those tits are not saline.
In support of my first opinion I offer you Gia, her first big role (lower left hand corner), where we can see her ‘opinions’ have already been affected by gravity and droop when unsupported. Evidence she’s done nothing to change this ‘national geographic’ look is evident in the first frame, taken a decade later from ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith’, where her jubblies compressibility (or fun-i-ness) is demonstrated by the way they submit to her corset. Were they ‘Transformers’, of silicone or saline, she would be forced to lace her corset less tightly, and if she did not, the hard line marking the edge of an implant would be visible under pressure.
Ladies and gentleman - there is no way this ladies breasts can be anything but flesh and blood and with that I end my presentation. I also suggest these same anylitic techniques can be used to determine the realness of any onscreen ‘bouncers’ you happen across. Questions?
I’d like to take a look at Joost but don’t want to wait. Could someone with access send me an invite? It’d make my day. I’ll blog on it too and you know that’s gonna be entertaining…
One of the least publicized aspects of the Adult Entertainment Expo was a live domain auction, in conjunction with Moniker. The results are in and I’m surprised.
I fully expected to write a piece explaining that domains are worth less than marketing and the days of big-money for URL’s was over.
I was wrong. Crap like ‘Clitoralpumps.com’ (they make those!?) made $600 and surreal-bad-sex-nightmare domain ‘Emergencyclinic.com’ went for $11,000.
The real shock was at the top end of the spectrum. Nine domains made over $50,000 and four broke the $100,000 mark. Amazing in a market where every professional I know would say that the idea’s more important than the name. You live and learn…
Given all the tit-talk this week it makes sense to link to this comprehensive history of the bra posted by the newly reinvigorated (again) Radar magazine. Throughly spankable educational.
I’m a big fan of softcore porn and a watcher of the phenomenon I’ve been referring to as demi-porn, the nudity-free sex material designed to be ‘legal’ on mainstream websites and social networks.
Demi-porn (which needs a better name, ‘aircore pornography’?) Aircore is as close to reality as porn gets. We all experience our first unwanted stiffies in response to a cuddle, jiggle or glimpse of underwear and even as adults, outside strip-clubs and swingers events, the people we meet who turn us on usually do so without displaying their genitals.
While hardcore porn is foreplay for people who think like Bonobos, aircore feels real. It’s a visual flirtation which is hard to pull off without great photography, stunning models and a stockpile of ideas that goes beyond woman-licking-ice-cream-cone and ensures the softest porn is invariably the best looking.
Then there’s the downside.
Aircore porn’s requirement that viewers involve their imaginations, as well as their lubricated digits, makes it as easy for pornographers to sexualize anything and leave the interpretation to us. Nabokov got into trouble for doing it in print after writing ‘Lolita’, a book that’s either a hymn to lusting after little girls or the study of a broken man depending on your perspective.
While softcore and hardcore porn are restricted by law, aircore’s limitlessness makes separating the innocent from the deviant close to impossible. It’s as scary as Nabakov because it asks us all to be our own censor.
Saaya Irie is a Japanese actress, model and ‘gravure idol’ known for her bikini-shots and rabid fanbase. Her rapidly growing popularity online amongst adult men in the UK (typical message-board posting “I’ve got to admit - I’d hit it”) is worrying because Saaya’s 12 years old. Younger even than Lolita, of flesh and blood, and far less artfully exploited.
British men seem to have discovered the niches in foreign cultures which allow greater sexualization of children than the UK and are now exploiting them via the internet. Ironically, the aircore material they’re enjoying is too soft to be affected by laws designed to combat child pornography and, as the law should, challenges us to focus on intent over appearance.
As porn becomes more complex and easier to obtain, how will we manage the gap between ‘acceptable’ sexuality and what some people really want without impinging our freedom to imagine?
Carla Bruni might be the most famousperson you’ve never heard of (not you - you know everything).
She’s an Italian who’s best loved in France for her French language singing career, but she became famous for dating rock stars and modeling.
I’m telling this backwards. She was a supermodel, who dated rock stars and then launched a singing career. Isn’t that so much more predictable? Actually she’s pretty good. Who doesn’t love a breathy chanson? (Just ignore a rumor Donald Trump might have once put his dick in her. She’s heir to a vast tire fortune and who hasn’t thrown a little plasma thinking about a hot chick with unlimited access to cross-ply white-walls?)
Why am I writing about her here? She lovestoget naked and looksgooddoing it. Her second album’s out this month. If Enya’s still part of your shag soundtrack replace it with this and if you don’t score, mess up the cover.
The Register has an interesting piece on a woman’s discovery of her sadomasochistic self in Second Life.
I’ll admit to being a second life virgin, I have enough trouble managing my first one. Putting in the effort to get laid in a virtual environment seems like a waste when I could apply the same skills in public and end the night feeling someone’s earrings tap my thighs.
Given The Register’s usual focus, sample headline ‘FTC green lights BrocData’, this is pretty fruity.
She was fisting me hard, and I thought, this has got to be as painful as childbirth! The pain I imagined danced through me, making me tremble violently, electrifying me, tingling every nerve - a bright, jagged pain that I adored. It was her pain! I loved it with my very heart. I begged her to f*ck me harder still! And then she sneered at me, shouting, “Feel this hand that f*cks and owns your p*ssy! Stronger and harder than any man-c*ck you ever had in your pathetic bi fantasies!”
How late to the party am I? Is Second Life a big part of anyone’s sex-life yet and if so, what’s the appeal?
Recently Jesse Jane’s been talking (NY Times - registration required) about getting corrective surgery to make her implants look less like dead Fraggles under the glare of a high-definition camera (she could also try eating food - it’d make her skull look less knobbly). Sadly for Jesse, the surgeon’s not the answer.
Porn’s problem is the close-up and though HD will make it worse, any camera placed close enough to define pores and body-hair will expose the kind of flaws you usually happily ignore because you’re getting some.
Jesse has more reason to be concerned than most because she works for Digital Playground. Joone her boss is a dedicated gearhead and uses the best equipment he can afford, real HD broadcast cameras, not the camcorder/desklamp rig favored by the gonzo crowd. She’s knows, as does the rest of the industry, the most perfect bodies are found on the youngest performers and is trying to find a way to stay camera-friendly and prolong her career (which is why Nina Hartley’s first HD feature’s going to be a real specialty interest).
The porn lifestyle doesn’t help. Smoking destroys the skin and make-up is clearly visible in HD. Performers fond of both look particularly bad up-close (as you’ll discover at the AEE show) but at least on TV the distances are reasonable, the lighting superb and the angles kind.
Until the jizz bizz has access to the digital vaseline used by the studios to make Kiera Knightly, Sandra Bullock and Cameron Diaz look flawless the best way of preserving porn’s ‘perfect’ illusion in HD is going to be younger performers, midshots and squinting. Meanwhile prepare for a lot of hasty, desperate and pointless surgery followed by a couple of unexpected early retirements.
AVN reports MySpace is building tools which will allow parents to identify their children online. While currently kids are anonymous, MySpace is going to remove that right for minors in the name of safety.
I don’t see the smart in this. If tools exist which allow people to identify the real name, age and location of kids on MySpace, guess who’s going to be most interested in using it?
Hasn’t Fox learned anything from the ongoing destruction of all DRM by dedicated hackers? Any tool which can be abused will be. I can’t think of anything likely to cause more harm to vulnerable children than a way of knowing with certainty their personal data.
As for the possibility for parental abuse of access to data assumed private, that’s a whole other Springer Show.
Earlier this month I posted Michelle Manhart’s Playboy set because it was briefly newsworthy and she’s so terribly average looking my ‘can I get into Playboy Sam? I’m a little chunky but I swear I’m going to lose it’ email’s going to skyrocket and I needed to let you guys know, she’s not Playboy material so don’t kid yourselves.
More photos from that set have now surfaced, and as I appear to be the only person who reads this blog who doesn’t think Manhart’s worth standing to attention for, I thought I’d share.
(NB: My original Playboy shots are gone because Playboy called me and were all like, “That’s our magazine and we totally don’t dig you posting those pictures.” and I’m all like, “Dudes, I’m totally promoting you and stuff” and there all like “WE ARE THE FUCKING LAW. CORRECT YOUR SHIT!” and I’m like “Chill bitches, it’s coming down. You’re rude dudes, and the DCMA is bogus,” and I took their crappy stuff down because though they’re not a porn magazine, they totally think the porn’s why people buy their crap and that’s the truth.)
I invented a boob-ray once but to aim it I had to take my trousers off making it impossible to use in public. This is about another type of boob-ray altogether.
Being smart she took a camera crew. Girl’s after my own heart.
On a side note, I’m not sure this is a legitimate use of medical resources but, show me a radiologist and I’ll show you a man who would rather be squeezing a Playmate’s tits between steel sheets than nuking a walking bag-of-cancer who won’t shut-up about not getting any visitors.
In America sex in cars is a rite-of-passage, in the UK it’s a fetish (Google ‘dogging’) and in adulthood it’s a depressing reminder you should have moved out of the basement and got your own place already.
Luckily Dorling Kindersley, yes that Dorling Kindersley - the guys who write kid’s books about dinosaurs - has recently published a guide book packed with advice on how to avoid a gearstick up the ass during an in-car session. Unless you like it like that in which case they’ll tell you how to get it in.
I find in-car sex is best when the car’s stationary and not outside her parents house. Don’t laugh, it’s wasn’t funny.
In Europe General Motors is Opel - except in England where it’s Vauxhall (the old Norse word for ‘box of shit’).
When you make cars no-one wants to buy desperation sends you running to the teat of expensive advertising agencies where copywriters, bored trying to flog your hopeless deathtraps, drink and submit ridiculous proposals in the vain hope a frightened auto-exec will sign off on something edgy.
I know because I’ve done it. Surprisingly, sometimes it works.
This series of ads by McCann Erikson of Frankfurt takes the old ‘this product will get you laid’ message and replaces it with ‘This car will get you doggie, sixty-nine and reverse cowgirl‘.
Who are they trying to sell to? Borat?
NB. I think I’ve spotted a trend with this car sex thing, the world’s gone mad. At the rate things are going soon people will buying wireless phones and meeting folk from the internet in real life!
The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them.
This Week’s Picks Arrogant Penis (http://www.sex-kitten.net)
“When I start to relax, adrift in the warm comfy seas of a powerful orgasm, my body slackening (and lord knows how my face looks), aware of nothing but how fabulous this is and ready to ride the waves into slumber, he doesn’t stop.”
Bewitch Me! (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)
“I’m big enough to pin you down while I move my hands up and down the sides of your body, feeling its contours beneath the black fabrics you so favor.”
Unicorn Sighting, Part II (http://loladavid.wordpress.com)
“There was one man in the very front of the theatre who didn’t give a damn who heard him moan as he came.”
‘ - a “photographic love letter” to the woman Rankin can’t stop shooting. If you have ever thought a blonde was attactive this book will turn your mind to shit. It’s like being inside Brian de Palma’s head after it’s been filled with fembots and flashlights.
