A few days ago the devil children over at SEOBlackHat.com notified me of a new kind of Google-dance. Normally the #1 search engine targets the latest exploits when it reorganizes its index, causing webmasters to sweat and wait to see if their pages will rise or fall in the new order. This time Google took a far larger step - removing explicit sexual content from listings en masse.

The arguments for doing it in cases are strong. Most people typing ‘Sex’ into Google probably don’t want porn and Google’s in the business of giving us what we want. Converesly though people typing ‘blowjob’ into Google probably do want porn and Google’s serving no-one but the people who think Mel Gibson’s a genius (and that seven Jews control world banking) by ’sanitizing’ our smutty searches.

The effects of Google’s pogrom have been dramatic. My own website - TGP.com - moved from being the #1 result for the search term ‘TGP’ to being completely absent over the weekend and is now - curiously - back atop the results. Perhaps as my domain is my search term Google are wary of leaving FUBAR.com out of a list of to-hits for FUBAR. Perhaps they’ve worked out that no-one searches for TGP who isn’t trying to find hotdog and donut shots. Whatever the reason larger TGP’s than mine are still missing from the first page and that has to hurt.

Overall search results on sex terms are all far less porn dominated than they were a week ago while Google ads remained tied to search terms as they always were. A cynic might suggest Google was trying to make pornographers pay for decent search placement rather than getting it in return for relevancy like the rest of the universe. Do I look that cynical?

Don’t be evil? Jury’s still out…

Reeling from the changes? I’ll start talk about marketing 2007 style, i.e. without reliance on Google - later this week. In the interim, read this…

Yesterday I highlighted Google’s decision to filter adult searches while allowing adult advertising to remain prominent - pressuring adult businesses to pay for the search rankings other sites obtain without charge.

Today TGP.com - my other blog - lost it’s #1 spot for the term ‘TGP’ and is now nowhere to be found in the top 100 pages.

Coincidence?

Please help me make some noise about this. Google’s Putinesque approach to criticism is something they deserve to be ashamed of.

First they came for the guys shooting DVDA, then they came for the money shots…

This best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Want in Sugasm #57? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

This Week’s Picks
Same Time Next Year (http://nocloudnine.blogspot.com)
“She nodded again, grabbing the doorframe as she pushed against the finger.”

Fuck me- it’s friday. (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)
“I won’t pretend to be coy- because I know what I want.”

Sexual Things You Don’t Know About Me (http://www.taratainton.com)
“My own erotic inner self has been piqued these last few days by a wonderful fantasy; maybe I can help pique yours by sharing.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Happy Thanksgiving (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice
Fast and Furious (http://edinerotica.blogspot.com)

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When the Goog added satellite imagery to it’s mapping service my first thought was the chances it offered to look at tiny pixilated tits in places I’d never visited, but my call for submissions of space porn failed to produce any hits. I’m therefore thrilled to discover that over at Googlesightseeing.com they’ve managed to compile a list of the ten hottest pieces of poontang visible from space.

The next step is obvious. We must make a satellite porn movie.

It’ll be cheap to do. The camera’s are paid for by the government and we can legally put a thank-you note to NASA and the CIA in the credits. I’ve handled the title too. It’s either going to be ‘Through the Keyhole’ (as the birds with the cameras are called Keyhole satellites), or ‘Asstronauts’ - which might be too consise to overlook.

Anyone can be in the movie. All you need to do is get naked somewhere public while doing something pornographic. If you can stand at the tip of a 30ft paper arrow I’d appreciate it. The tricky bit’s waiting to have your photo taken. I don’t know when the satellites are overhead so it might be easiest to wait a full 12 hrs to make sure you’re visible. Don’t move, we don’t want you to look blurry. Email me your location and I’ll download you.

The following day go to the same place, move a couple of inches, and wait to take another photo. Over the course of a few months we can compile a stop-motion record of your exploits shot entirely from space.

We’ll sell a million.

Don’t worry about being seen while you’re ‘acting’. If a neighbour asks why you’re bent double on the roof with your but cheeks pulled apart, the honest answer, ‘I’m waiting for a satellite to flyover’ should end any debate.

Who’s in?

(N.B. Google baiting’s like picking at a scab for me. Painful but oh so satisfying. I should have learned from Miranda Hutchinson-Foot who picked a scab off my knee - without mentioning it to me - back in 2nd grade. All the fun, none of the pain.)

PS. I mean it. Let’s make a movie! We can do the show right here…