Love porn and like mediocre buffet food? Turned on by fake-tan and sequins? Ready to spend $240 on a ticket? Yes? You can now invest in tickets for this year’s AVN awards show.
Have fun predicting the winners based on the number of advertising pages bought in the past year’s AVN magazine. Wonder at the Jabba/Gorgon looks of the average porn magazine editor. Enjoy the wit and wisdom of host Jessica Drake as she makes in-references which make sense only to porn-hounds and bloggers. You’ll have the time of your life.
I might not be there (they might not let me in after this), but to be fair, this year may be different. If the Playboy deal’s been announced perhaps Hef’ll make an appearance and bring that layer of Octogenarian charm only he can. Even though that’d mark a serious turn-around from a guy who maintains Playboy’s not porn. Won’t stop them shooting the show for Playboy TV of course…
Let’s hope they redesign the gongs to look less like Belladonna’s tattoo. Or glass bricks. I suggest a remote control with a single massive ‘Fast Forward’ button. Am I jaded?
Otherwise expect a no-name rap/rock musical interlude, a comic who thinks ‘CUNT!’ is a universally applicable punchline and people who look like their photoshopped-boxshot versions parents. Good times.
I attended last year. Your description is right on - though I really liked last year’s rock band (One reason being they are from Canada like moi). I danced around in my very tasteful (yet very sexy) gown knowing that no one would even notice given all the booze (and other stuff).
Though the best part of the night was the non existent line up to the ladies room. The dudes were not so lucky. One guy tried to pay $100 to switch places with the first guy in line. The bouncer did not let him. The porn biz really is a sausage fest.
Seska - your dancing had to be THE higlight. There’s a real lack of humor in the jizz-bizz. If I had a chance to run ‘The stickies’ I’d make sure no one too it too seriously. They try to be the Oscars when the MTV Movie awards are a much better model. More “This is all pretty stupid but it’s fun”, less “Ruben Sturman Award for Services to Porn”. How about a montage of ‘Those who failed to get it up on set in the past year’. Okay - it’s clear why I don’t have the job…