Liz Longhurst, whose daughter was strangled to death by Graham Coutts a musician with a fetish for images of violent porn, has convinced the UK government to announce a plan to ban violent porn.

Unusually for a porn story the media has got the facts entirely wrong. There is no ban, and not even a bill. Just a decision to move forward after a period of consultation. When a bill is written it will be brought before parliament and voted on, but until then nothing changes. Supporters of the move are suggesting a line will be drawn between ‘art’ and ‘porn’ which allows ‘legitimate’ films which involve violent sexual images to be distributed. How this will be done remains a mystery.

It’s another example of bad laws being written to fill holes in the porn business which could be filled with performer protection. Murder is already illegal - we don’t need any new laws to put creeps like Coutts in prison. Grevious Boddily Harm (GBH) is likewise outlawed (in the US you’d call it assault) and if performers had better protection we could stop it from happening on camera in the name of ‘entertainment’. The idea Coutts might not have killed had he not seen violent porn is post hoc in the extreme. The Marquis de Sade managed to crank out dark fantasies without TV, film, or the internet.

In a magical world (where I run things, tights are outlawed and Anita Dark says yes when I invite her to my room for a whopper with cheese) there would be more reason in this debate. Of course a segment of the BDSM crowd are pretty sick individuals acting out their fantasies as far as other people are prepared to let them go; but we can only make sane laws, which do a job of protecting people, if we recognize the difference between simulated and real events, the rights of performers to work safely which assures viewers what they’re watching isn’t actually dangerous, and the insanity of saying some things are fine to do in private but illegal to watch in public.

“She’ll be really hot once she hits bottom and cleans up” - Kami Andrews

Kami is porn’s resident comic prodigy. If you haven’t enjoyed her wit, check out this gallery of quotes and be humbled. A mind like that makes her about the most datable woman in porn. (Kyla, you know you’re special - we’ll always have our thing.)

If you like your production values high, your contract stars blonde, your islands Tera Patrick free and your trailers hi-def you’ll enjoy the new Island Fever 4 website.

I still think Jana Cova’s a Bugatti to Jesse Jane’s ex-rental Ford Mustang but regardless of your opinion, there’s plenty of both here. I always thought island fever meant malaria, apparently, it’s also code for beach-bound-artcore-fuckfest. See - porn IS educational.

Get your high-Def trailer goodness here.

A few months ago, I wrote a number of posts about traffic trading which led to a Wordpress plugin called BLT. The plugin does almost everything I want it to but still doesn’t produce the kind of returns traditional adult-industry traffic-trades do and after a little Percocet and about half a bottle of Grey Goose much thought I still can’t work out why.

The most efficient machines for moving people around the internet are porn sites but their utility comes at a price. Via the diamond bladed capitalism of the jizz bizz, the easiest way to do something is always the best way to do something even when it’s clearly the wrong way to do something. Hence for pornsters, traffic-trading means redirecting links from where they’re supposed to go to where you want them to. Instead of wondering how to construct a link which lures people into visiting ‘The Star Trek Porn Blog’ (and if you want to see that, kill yourself now), you simply put up a link to something like, ‘Jessica Alba’s Well-Greased Naughty Pillows’ which you know people want to see, and send your suckers to the phaser-porn when they click through anyway.

It’s a stunt which is partly responsible for earning adult sites their deservedly bad reputation as the sinkholes of the internet.

BLT was my solution (start the awe-inspiring music now, read on in ‘Coming to a theatre near you this summer…’ voice)

BLT allows anyone to trade traffic but doesn’t redirect users without their consent. There is no ’skim’ in the traditional sense, it just display’s links from sites who send visitors and ignores those who don’t. It can display links from traders in order of the volume of visitors they send in a specific time period (as I do currently), or simply according to who most recently sent a click. In that way anyone using the plugin can be sure they’re not promoting sites which aren’t promoting them, and the people who trade most actively are rewarded with greater exposure. As only working links are displayed, you never have to worry that a traffic trader’s not holding up their end of the deal.

It’s smart and fair and means I can guarantee anyone who clicks on a tiny picture of a hot ass at SugarBank is going to get a significantly larger picture of a hot ass as their reward. Why isn’t it working?

I expected hundreds of sites to want to trade but today there are 19 who are active and trading and about 40 who’ve signed up but either never posted a link back or never sent a click. Assuming everyone online wants greater exposure - what kind of traffic trade would you find too compelling to ignore? If BLT’s not doing it for you why haven’t you signed up? Is it a lack of understanding about how the system works or something else? Is my description of how the trade works just too complex? I have no idea but I want to fix it. Unless blogs can trade traffic without dishonesty, or the craziness of a static links list filled with dead and unproductive links - one of the greatest tools of web-mastering won’t be available to bloggers. (My great tool is available by appointment - ba, BOOM!)

If you owned SugarBank and wanted to be able to promote 100 or more blogs and sites without being exploited or annoying your readers what would you do?

Educate me. I’m listening.

With today’s news about Steve ‘The Crocodile Hunter’ Irwin, the world is learning to cope with the shockingly predictable death of a man who taunted dangerous animals for shits and giggles and then got fucked by a stingray.

I’m not denying it’s sad but it’s hard to be surprised. It’s like ‘discovering’ Kate Moss does coke or that Mel Gibson thinks the world’s controlled by seven Jewish bankers - you can work this stuff out if you open your eyes and think about how these people behave. Or stalk them - that tells you everything.

Given todays news I predict we’ll see the following headline at AVN sometime soon:

MILF Hunter, Mortally Wounded On Set
Today the adult industry was shocked to learn of Shawn ‘The MILF Hunter’ Rees death while filming a ’soccer mom’ for his website.

“Booty and Boobies” award winner Sarah Jay (29), a normally docile porn performer, reacted badly to being asked to portray a 45 year old mother of college age children who’d never been nude on camera. Rees misjudged the effect of his repeated requests to ‘See them old titties’ and, almost without warning according to witnesses, was stabbed through the nuts with a stiletto during a reverse cowgirl.

Rees, well known for single-handedly re-branding the ‘older women’ niche ‘MILF’ following the popularization of the phrase in the movie ‘American Pie’ will be buried in a T-shaped coffin in accordance with his wishes.

The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them.

This Week’s Picks
Foreplaying pool (http://gentlygently.blogspot.com)
“‘What say we make this interesting,’ I began while circling the table looking at the available shots, ‘If I win, I get a kiss.’”

All Tied up (part 6): The End (http://dirtyandthirty.blogspot.com)
“To cut a very long story short (well, not quite that short), the evening finished with me cumming all over Thirty’s beautiful body.”

Tableau of sensuality (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
“Use your other hand to explore further South… tickle that sensitive area around my navel… stroke the silkiness a little further below… and then you’ll find that silky soon becomes slick, plump and moist.”

Me
Fred Wilson, Venture Capital and Pornography (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice
Sexbit - Fundraiser (http://www.seskuality.com)

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

“How do I know pornography depraves and corrupts? It depraves and corrupts me” - Malcolm Muggeridge

Between the worlds of porn and art lies a middle-ground of high-quality erotic content which is thoughtful enough to hang in galleries and direct enough to masturbate over. Dave Naz’s new(ish) book ‘Fresh: Girls of Seduction‘ is the latest addition to this intellismut cannon.

Naz’s previous books Lust Circus (2002), Panties (2003) and Legs (2004) established the themes he continues to explore in Fresh. Where less skilled stylists wallow is the authenticity of seediness, Naz has always managed to make viewers feel as if they’re looking at pictures from a road-trip taken with girlfriends they’ve not yet met. His style, young models, shot in natural light, looking wanton, has managed to balance the evidence of youth - spontaneity, broad smiles and freshly scrubbed skin - with adult bodies, situations and humor. You always know his models are playing with their youth, not trying to sell it to you, and the lack of artifice in his photographs feels natural given their intimacy.

Fresh pushes harder. From Mat Gleason’s ‘Lolita’ themed introduction on, readers are left without the comforting visual props which provide clues to the models adulthood. The poses they take up are often clumsy, their lingerie would be best described as underwear, and their bodies are either shaved pre-pubescently bare or left natural enough to suggest they’re not yet confident with a razor.

Despite recognizing a great number of the models, and knowing then as adult women, Naz’s unaffected presentation can be shocking. By shooting young women as they are, Naz doesn’t allow us to see them as the knowing, insatiable vixens most porn tries to convince us to believe in. They look like our sisters, daughters and friends, and while some images arouse lust others stir parental instincts and challenge us enjoy their sexuality while forced to look at young people, not sex icons.

It’s a clever trick. Naz forces us to think about the difference between age and innocence and to recognize the two don’t always march in step. He knows the easiest way to heighten the senses is to spice them with adrenaline and has produced a book it’s hard to browse without feeling the occasional wave of discomfort. It’s all the better for it.

A few days ago a friend of mine was telling me about his new girlfriend, a sexual athlete who’s given him what he’s always wanted and is now scaring the crap out of him.

“She licked my asshole like it was a tootsie-pop,” he said.

“Okay,” I replied.

“Then she stuck her finger up it.”

“Alright. I hope you wiped properly.”

“Yeah, she’d licked it the last time we got together so I made extra sure.”

“Wise.”

“Then she tried to stick another finger up there.”

“Dude, you were about to get fucked.”

“I know. I told her we should move on.”

“Did you kick in her backdoor? I think she would have dug it.”

“No. I kept it pretty English.”

Then he got to the good bit. Apparently this girl ejaculates. Buckets. He said when they did it standing up he almost fell over.

“I don’t care what you say Sam. It’s not pee. That shit’s slippery and I swear there was about half a litre.”

“It’s not pee as we know it but it’s coming out of her bladder. If she was catheterized and she came I guarantee she’d fill the bag every time.”

“I don’t believe you. It happened even when she’d been to the bathroom just before.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ve read it’s fluid that doesn’t normally get expelled, like the air in the bottom of your lungs. That’s why it doesn’t look like pee and why it’s got less urea in it. Call it bladder-water if you like.”

“Whatever you say. Anyway she doesn’t do it anymore. She found it embarrassing and went to see the doctor.”

“And?”

“He gave her exercises to do and it stopped.”

Wow. While some argue ejaculation is the ultimate indicator of female pleasure (a wholly suspect concept, would anyone claim women who scream have better sex than those who don’t?) in the UK some doctors are telling women who ‘ejaculate’ that stronger kegels are the answer and it appears to work.

What I really want to know is will their ever be a porn movie called ‘Orgasmic Incontinence?’

Post over. Please feel free to go mental in the comments.

PS. I know ‘kick in her backdoor’ is a violent and nasty metaphor - that’s why it’s funny to watch people’s eyebrows when I say it.

PPS. Anyway, my foot won’t fit, I’ve tried it.

Thanks for being such an odd bunch of freaks. I mean here I am writing post after post about violence in porn and someone - who shall remain nameless for their own benefit - sends me a link that they clearly think is pertinent and I clearly think is hatstand. It’s totally irrelevant but hey - there are tits in it and it’s worth sharing.

MovieBadGirls.com

The web-design’s strictly 20th century but those who persevere will find a range of violent sexual images designed to appeal to people who like the idea of a woman who might kill them at any moment. Most of it’s neither nude or particularly graphic yet it’s all strangely pornographic. Enjoy it if you dare - explain what I’m missing if you find some hidden violence in porn angle.

(image courtesy of PrincessCameron.com who should wear a bra more often because she’s only nineteen and those apples are already heading for her shoes.)