Samuel L. Jackson, some punk.
The movie of the year - and perhaps next year too - is ‘Snakes on A Plane‘. That’s not an opinion. If you don’t want to see a movie with Samuel L. Jackson and snakes and terrorists and guns on a motherfucking plane you’re crazy.
I’ve actually got a hard-on just thinking about it.
The last ‘black dude fucks up the terrorists shit on a plane’ was all-time-great ‘Passenger 57‘. At the time I thought it would never be surpassed. You only get a line like “Always bet on black!” once in a lifetime. Teamed with a fast zoom? Get the fuck out of here.
However ‘Snakes on a Plane’ might just do it. Not only have the producers realized that as soon as you put Samuel Jackson in a leather coat and give him a gun you’ve secured the attention of every man on the planet, they also seem to have embraced the opportunity to have snakes crawl up the pants of scared white guys who Jackson’s going to kill later.
JACKSON
Is that a motherfucking snake in your cords or are you just fruity and into cops?SCARED WHITE GUY
Help me… please help me…JACKSON
STOP CRYING BITCH OR I WILL SHOOT YOUR FUCKING DICK OFF!
I’m imploring the porn industry to not try and spoof this. There’s nowhere to go. There is a character called ‘iPod girl’. They re-shot the movie to bring the rating up from PG-13 to R. It is going to be perfect.
STEWARDESS
Oh my G… Is that a…JACKSON
No, no, no! They’re all dead now. It’s just the way my pants fit.
I can’t wait.
“Not only have the producers realized that as soon as you put Samuel Jackson in a leather coat and give him a gun you’ve secured the attention of every man on the planet,”
Funny, I thought you were going to say “every woman on the planet” and I was going to agree with you. Heh.
You made up those lines, didn’t you?
Didn’t you?
Oh my…
I totally want to see this. Of course, now when I watch Snakes on a Plane, every time Samuel L. Jackson appears in a scene I’ll wind up thinking about your (disturbing) hard-on.
As in, instead of his. Not fair!
Seriously, nothing says summer movie like snakes, terrorists, and guns. Or was that summer vacation?
I saw the trailer to this yesterday. All I can say… is wow. Oh, I can also say/ask “Why?”… but I might not be able to handle the truth of it. By all that’s (un)holy, I certainly hope this is a comedy.
Since I first heard of this movie I’ve been using “Snakes on a Plane!” as a curse word or as… heck it just really works. Try it.
“Snakes on a Plane! I can’t believe you are that stupid!!”
“Snakes on a Plane! Is it freaking cold out today!”
“What do you mean no bonus this year? Snakes on a Plane!”
See? Fun for everyone. Hehe
I’m am so glad y’all are with me (did you catch the y’all - I’m trying a little Southern Fried thing). SOAP is going to ROCK.
I’m going to see it at one of the ‘Arclight Hollywood’s’ ‘Over-21′ screenings.
I will go to LA for this. SOAP is an event. I suggest we all fly in and make it a party.
Do you think Jackson will roundhouse a Cobra in this thing? God damn I hope so.
My God.
I always thought that was a joke.
My heart just grew three sizes.
Sam, “y’all” is singular. The plural (which I believe you wanted) is “all y’all.”
It’s my favorite non-gender-specific pronoun. I love using redneck speech to be politically correct. heh.
I concur with BadAss. It is indeed “all ya’ll/y’all”. It peppers my conversations, right along with accidentally saying “aahce tea” instead of “iyce tea”. It’s one of those really great words, right up there with “cornucopia” and “fajitas”.
Mia, BA - I stand corrected. All ya’ll mighty clear on that. Er… Pardner.
Hi Sam,
I have a couple of friends in LA who love Snakes On A Plane, too. So much so that they made their own (short) version of the film!
Check it out at: http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2701810
Interesting story about SOAP:
http://tinyurl.com/z4hm7
Wot, are you part of the viral campaign or something?
Viviane - how could you even suggest that? I’m a marketing guy, whose friend owns ‘Tagworld.com’ and I’m talking about the biggest viral internet hit since Blair Witch in public. Coincidences happen
Thanks for the link by the way (and for the record I have nothing to do with SOAP - just a fan).
No way in heck is “y’all” singular! It is the contraction of “you” and “all”, hence, “y’all”. “All y’all” is used for added effect, like a little extra sugar in your sweet tea.
Southern Sugar Babe - I appreciate the correction of the correction. Let’s just call a spade a spade and admit that this is pigeon English. Debating its grammar is as pointless as trying to explain fair-trade to agribusiness.
Ok, now that’s an effing quote tracker:
http://snakesonaplane.ning.com/index.php