I am going to talk penis.
(Ladies stay with me, there is gold here for you too (as always my truffles, I kiss you)
My friends think I’m obsessed with the size of my dick. They note that I can’t let a reference to penis size pass without mentioning my own love-club (they should try living with the stares for just one day). They say it’s insecurity and that I’m probably hung like a hamster (they are so wrong. I once dated a fishmongers daughter, she told me she’d seen smaller salmon).
I was thinking about my love-missile today (it was a crowded coffee-shop and I was worried someone might put their chair on it) and a friend mentioned a recent documentary about a man with a thirteen and a half inch cock - the largest on record (and his record will stand, I refuse to be measured like a freak). Of course in the jizz bizz we’re told that every other male performer has a ten-incher, but if six inches is average, are there really so many men like me, walking around with a double portion?
To work this out without going on a bathhouse tour of Europe, I decided to plot the range of human height (ignoring the 27 inchers because people that small are evil) against the range of human schlong size - from 1 inch (a condition known as ‘mico-penis’), through to the mortar-like thirteen-inchers (which during times of war are classified as naval guns - fact)
Here’s what I found (click to enlarge - gently, you don’t want it to go off in your hair):
Someone call Nature.
If my calculations are correct (and let’s try to remember who did them and just assume they are) , and eight inch cock is as unusual on the bell-curve of human stature as a 6′7″ man. Ten inches makes you as rare a human being as Yao Ming.
Ladies, next time you’re online and a guy mentions his nine-incher try to remember that’s as likely as him being 7′ tall. Guys take heart, ‘a bit bigger than average’ is just 6.5 inches (and I’ll admit to having six and a half myself - but width isn’t everything).
Of course my research also means that if you ever have to discuss your size you can now say “If that bad-boy was human, he’d stand 6′5″ in bare feet” and bask in the awed silence.
I have stop writing, I have blown my own mind.
Given your size I am sure you could blow something else of yours.
Seska - I… um… er… Damnit
I’ve always felt I was too tall, now I know why.
Sam, you are so cute when you get saucy.
Hmm… if I were a penis, I’d be 5″.
Stop laughing at me. It’s how you use it.
Sam, I don’t know whether to start calling you Tripod or brag about the height of my strap-on…
I’ll never know where I stand on the bell curve- every time I get excited, I faint from lack of blood.
In any case, good job Kinse… Sam. You just decimated the whole of pornography.
Also, what’s this cm shit? It completely fucked me up. We didn’t dump all ya’ll’s tea in a harbor to be forced to think in metrics.
(comes to from faint)
huh?
Now way, man, I’m 5′6 and a full 6.5 or 7 inches, depending on the day. http://www.furrygirl.com/images/strapon.jpg & http://www.furrygirl.com/images/pre-14.jpg respectively.
Okay, it seems accurate, but I can only speak for myself.
zero - Try the LPSG, they welcome us there http://www.lpsg.org
Viviane - Don’t make me come over there…
Sabrina - “The lady doth protest too much, methinks”?
In a home for sick sheep, there are four level of compassion.
Tony - but if you were a tree right, what kind of tree would you be? (what are we talking about now? I’m just trying to keep up)
I would be an elm. (I never get anywhere with Peggy when I start talking about Bell curves.)
I know it’s not intended to be a direct graph, but I dated a 6′4″ guy once and, interestingly…
(P.S.: Thanks for not helping me get a job in porn because now I’m working for 20th Century Fox. Which is arguably less moral, but it pays better and my mom can tell her friends about it, so… so there!)
Holly - allow me to clarify that I warned you against the negative repercussions of porn involvement which you considered, else it sounds as if I put a bomb under your career. As for mr 6′4″ are we talking about the big man or the little man? (N.B. this graph’s not intended to draw a line between height and size, but is supposed to draw attention to the relative bell curves - by book will be called ‘The Bell End Curve’.
Sam…I couldn’t help but laugh very loudly as I was reading this. My husband thought I was insane. He could be right! *wink*
Now…I KNOW for certain that this chart is ALL WRONG!!!
My EX-husband is 6′2″ tall and his friend down below is much smaller than that of 7 to 7 1/2 inches! As a matter of fact, he would be about a foot shorter if men were measured by dick size!
My current husband, on the other hand just barely reaches 5′7″. If he were measured by dick size, he’d be a FEW inches taller. He falls into the normal range of 6 to 6 1/2 inches.
So…just from my own personal “scientific study”, this chart is by no means accurate.
I wonder though…should I email this to my ex???
Barbie - you’re missing the point of the graph. I’m not making any comparison between a guy’s height and his penis size. I’m saying big dicks are as rare as tall guys. You know as many guys with 8 inch dicks as you do guys who are 6′7″ - but they’re not the same guys. Height and cock size are not related but their distribution should be. Clear as mud right…?