CRAIG
I was wondering if you were any closer to sending those copies of The Contortionist’s Handbook
SAM
Dude - I have been totally slack about this. I’m in Latvia, the books are at my place in LA and it’s all more complicated than it should be. Don’t worry, a friend of mine has been packing them up this weekend and they’re ready to go!
CRAIG
That’s great. Do you want me to write something for the site?
SAM
That would rock. Send me something.
CRAIG
How about this?
“Dear SugarBank Readers,
Sam, a close ‘guy-I-know’ of mine, has finally pulled his finger out of his ass far enough to use its moist end to seal a few padded envelopes. I’m pleased to announce you’re finally going to get your hands on a copy of my first book, The Contortionist’s Handbook, I’m just sorry I can’t do anything about the envelope it’s being mailed in smelling of poo. Just thinking about it is making me gag a little.
Sam tells me books are en-route to bloggers in:
- Aloha, OR 97007
- Auburn, AL 36830
- Aurora, IL 60505
- Birmingham, AL 35235
- Crystal Lake, IL 60014
- Grover Beach, CA 93433
- Kihei, HI 96753
- Mancelona, MI 49659
- Morgantown, Wv. 26501
- Normal, IL 61761
- Omaha, NE 68106
- Pearl City, HI 96782-2145
- Phoenix, AZ 85016
- Rockford, IL 61103
- Snellville, GA 30078
- St. Catharines, Ontario L2N 1W4
Which leave nine books to find homes for. Want one? Let same know where to send it.
My book’s a lot better written, edited and laid out than Sam’s blog so, if you enjoy this thrown-together shit, feel free to call me Shakespeare,
Sincerely,
Craig ‘My second novel Dermaphoria
Is that the kind of thing you’re looking for?
SAM
That’s it?
CRAIG
I’m joking idiot.
SAM
I’M POSTING IT NOW! THAT IS FUCKING AWSOME!!!
Aloha that would be me (in about the most un-Hawaiian place there is)! Commence happy-dance…
I see my area code. Rock.
Yay! I’m psyched. The book should get here right about the time I run out of netflix movies.
I’m excited too - give it about 7-10 days, we’re rocking the media mail…
how does the whole book thing work?
Red Velvet - email me your address and your blog URL, get a book and promise to read it. Simple eh?
lol sound simple enough, i’ll email you in a few moments