Apparently I’m at war. It must be like the war in Iraq because, even though I’m reading about it, it doesn’t actually feel as if anything’s changed.
As far as I’m aware my first attack (I think I’m America in this and they’re Iraq) was posting this blog network invite. I seem to have hurt someone’s feelings (I think I’ve virtually bombed his Mosque) and am being chewed out in public (which is a bit like him going on Aljazeera and showing footage of me driving tanks into houses).
My next crime was publishing his Google email address (taking female prisoners?) and this has apparently resulted in a deluge of spam and hate-mail. I’m not sure who’s sending the spam, I publish my email address all over this blog and Gmail catches 100% of my spam 99.9% of the time - which is why I use it. I don’t know who sends hate-mail (it’s so Southern Baptist/PETA) but I doubt anyone reading this blog cares enough to take the time to do something so ineffective. Besides, how can you write hate-mail about a job offer?
My final crime (the Abu Ghraib of this network war - I’m Private English) was to remove the email addresses too slowly in response to requests from the author. I’ll admit it took a few emails, but that was because:
- I didn’t realize the guy emailing me wanted me to remove every email on the page, so I started with one. He then emailed me from more than one address and I got really confused about who was asking for what.
- I didn’t think that any harm could come to a network head by having their email address on display. I still don’t.
- I wanted to signify the email (which I received from multiple sources in a couple of hours) was genuine.
Despite all that I did exactly what I was asked to (for a stranger) because I’m nice clearly a total bastard.
So I’ve now learnt I am an aggressor, with violently expansionist policies, who must be stopped from raping the bloggosphere. You know what’s fucking scary? I didn’t even know I was doing it.
Anyway - I’ve decided to declare peace in this war (which I didn’t know I was in), sign a treaty and rebuild everything to really high standards. No-bid contracts will not be awarded, and I aim to be out of the occupied territory in about a week. Israel is secure, Palestine is free, and in Ireland, U2 are over at Ian Paisley’s house just kicking it. That was easier than I thought overall.
Happy Sunday Cowboy - war is over.
PS. If anyone else wants to involve me in a ‘war’ then please let me know in advance so I can buy bullets and wake up my ninjas.
PPS. I won’t to go to ‘war’ over blog networks because having more good ones is good for everyone, and because it’s freakishly, terribly, lame.
You didn’t realize that he wanted you to remove ALL email address references? What the fuck good would it do to remove only one?
Chris, now you put it that way I see your point. I mean, if I don’t edit the content of my blog as soon as someone emails and tells me to, what kind of fucker am I? Thanks for helping me to understand. YOU RULE!
Sigh, this is so silly. Am I in the coalition of the willing just for forwarding you the email, if so can I be a non-lame country? How about Turkey? I was hoping this sort of petty, icky stuff wouldn’t enter the lovely sexblogospheregalaxyland. . . you know, because we all get laid and are in good moods because of it.
Ellie you can be Turkey. That’s a pretty sweet Islamic democracy. I was so going to be Turkey before they made me be America. Damn. I’m going to be Turkey next time for realzzz… AND YOU KNOW THAT!
You can be Turkey as long as I can be the kinky nun. . . Wait, I think I’m getting my next times confused. . .
Where’s the turkey? Ouch! Okay - found it.
Burn the fields! Raze the cities! Poison the wells! Salt the ashes! Dash the babies on the rocks!
If you’re going to fight a war, there’s no sense letting things only half-done. Get biblical!
You know, it is kind of silly… Imagine if Sam had launched a network of pay-sites. Would Cowboy have come around saying that it was his idea to aggregate porn on the web? If so, he’d have plenty of cajones but I think it’s the other half of the equation most people search for…
I like rooting for the underdog in most fights, but it’s hard to do that when the underdog comes across as rabid and snaps at the neighbors. I’m sure Cowboy will do fine when he gets around to actually building something instead of sniping at other people. Lots of people enjoy reading blogs that specialize in the tempest in a teapot model. Me, I’ll stick with Sam.