Most blogs began a circus of orgiastic, self-congratulatory praise the day they launch which they whip to a peak each December with their best-of lists. I’ve been decent enough to wait until the end of the final day of the year to begin mine.

Here are the ten most vital posts I’ve made in 2005, listed alphabetically and chosen by me. If you’re new to SugarBank – start here.

• An Open Letter to Google RE: Online Payments – taught me just how many people outside porn read Sugarbank
• A Silly Idea? – turns out, it wasn’t
• Be a Playmate: How to Get Into Playboy Magazine – because a Playboy photographer told me he now shows it to wanabe centerfolds
• Boils, Blindness and other Blarney - 9 Anti-Porn Myths Debunked – my most talked about post this year
• Finding Blog Bucks When Ads Suck? – a conversation starter
• Fuck Google – I predict that in a years time this will be the technorati’s default position
• Hookers vs. Harvard MBA’s – the post which started this all
• How to Make a Professional (Amateur) Porn Film #8 – Selling – because everyone loves the graphic
• Podnography #17 – Coed strippers, Wikipedia and Katie’s big O – my most popular podcast to date
• The Death of SuicideGirls – needed to be said

Kudos to The Observer for this stunningly well thought-through column on sex and prostitution, inspired by the British Government’s impending move to ‘crack down’ on sex work.

Quote: “…(If prostitution blighted communities) human civilisation would have collapsed thousands of years ago.”

Read the article here

As I write this I realize that ‘How can I look like a porn star?’ is a question as validly answered with ‘Get fucked on camera’ as anything else, but what this post is about is the oft-neglected art of make-up.

In an age of PhotoShop (and whatever the software’s called that removed the wrinkles from Naomi Watts’ neck in King Kong) a lot of people have conned themselves into thinking any blemishes they photograph can be fixed ‘in the mix’. It’s an appealing idea (somewhere between ‘Chocolate air’ and ‘Downloadable pussy’ in my book) but not a reality. Digital make-up is harder and more expensive to apply than the real stuff. While removing a zit from a scan is easy, applying eye-shadow, without making the person you’re re-touching look like plastic (which is only okay if that’s what they’re made of) is extremely difficult.

I’m not a make-up expert (I’m not even that great a dancer… hang on, that’s a mistake - I am a great dancer, they call me ‘Snakehips’) but experts I know (all too shy to be named, all currently working in Hollywood) have told me a few simple tips you can use to improve your looks, or those of anyone you shoot. Ugly’s genetic but fugly’s a choice, just say no.

• Foundation - Use a primer before you apply foundation, it’ll last longer.
• Eyeliner - The key to glamour. Stick to the rules of light and dark, choosing a color that suits your clothing (not matches unless you want to look like a twelve year old Japanese fashion victim). Line the upper and lower lashes and gently highlight the brow-bone.
• Eyeshadow - The darker it is, and the further away from the eye you blend, the more dramatic the effect. Try not to look punched.
• Mascara - waterproof is the way to go if you want to avoid that ‘crying teenager’ look when sweaty.
• Eyebrows - Comb them upwards and then use a pencil, as if you’re trying to draw on more hairs, to add definition.
• Lips - The younger the woman, the darker the red that’ll work. If you have a large nose, big chin or are over 30 choose a lighter shade, bright red lips will highlight your hideous physical ugliness. Blondes suit pinky red, brunettes can wear almost anything (you can see this for yourself when you cut through a blonde - the inside’s all pinky red).
• Skin - get a ‘glow’ by using highlighting products that reflect light away from the face. Moist formulations and illuminating cream blushers in pink or peach work well.
• Nails - to avoid looking like a tacky slut (always a problem when shooting double-anal) go for a classic screen-siren look, red with the cuticle tips left clear. Orange/red, scarlet and burgundy also work for this effect.
• Hair - should compliment the face, not overpower it. Less is more. Once it’s washed and conditioned, blast it with freezing cold water - it closes the cuticles, keeps the curls in place and leaves it soft.

Now I’m off to kill animals, urinate in public and otherwise reclaim my manliness.

The other type of porn industry research.

Figures detailing the size and shape of the jizz bizz are always fun to look at. They tend towards the overoptimistic, whomever’s behind them.

Analysts (Wall Street’s so-called experts) exaggerate because a lack of publicly listed companies makes researching (or using Google to read shareholder statements as I like to call it) useless. They extrapolate the few companies they have real data on, normally Vivid, Playboy and Private, and then guess at how much bigger than average these giants are. They guess wrong and their supposedly conservative estimates are always too large.

Industry professionals exaggerate sales based on a desire to seem like a bigger fish than they are. If you believed every CEO’s numbers the planet’s economy would be entirely porn based.

The Christian-Right exaggerate, because the bigger they can make the business seem, the easier it is to reverse reality and take the role of David against an imagined jizz bizz Goliath. In truth the churches have vastly more wealth, people, power and influence than pornographers.

This hasn’t stopped AVN, the industry’s leading magazine, from attempting to compile some data on what’s actually going on. Clearly their research isn’t independent, but they have referred to reports by Jupiter, Forbes, The New York Times and others which, assuming a modicum of honesty, should make these numbers as good as anyone else’s.

Highlights:

• 1B adult VHS/DVDs were sold in 2005
• 35% (the largest portion) of adult website viewers earn over $75K per anum
• 35-44 is the median age of adult website viewers
• 40% of online video-on-demand is adult
• 55% of hotel video-on-demand is adult
• 45M unique visitors are recorded by adult websites each month
• 13,588 hardcore video titles were released in 2005
• 90% of adult video sales are on DVD
• $700M worth of mobile adult content was sold worldwide in 2005
• $12.6B - is the value of the US adult market in 2005
• $4.8B (34%) - US adult video sales and rentals in 2005
• $1B (8%) - US adult magazine sales in 2005
• $800M (6%) - US adult cable pay-per-view sales in 2005
• $2.5B (20%) - US adult internet sales in 2005
• $500M (4%) - US adult hotel room video-on-demand sales in 2005
• $35M (<1%) - US adult mobile content sales in 2005
• $1.5B (12%) - US adult novelty sales in 2005
• $2.1B (16%) - US exotic dance club sales in 2005

Surprisingly, based on these numbers, the magazine industry is still significant, toys are surprisingly huge and the internet’s now bigger than the club industry. What does that mean for you? Argue among yourselves…

Download the data in full here (3MB .pdf) and here (2MB .pdf)

This post, and the next few, will make more sense when I tell you more about Internext, the Adult Entertainment Expo. It’s easy to drink a lot and then find yourself with a bunch of people you hardly know, talking about other people you know even less, in a stripclub.

It’s great.

While I sleep - enjoy this review of ‘The Contortionist’s Handbook’.

Another goody. If you’re a blogger and you haven’t yet read it let me know - I’ve got a few extra copies to share.

Yesterday I spoke on a blogging/podcasting panel at Internext. Though I was working from the same notes I’d used for the presentation I gave at the International Players Ball called ‘Treat your lady right’, the other panelists made some excellent points.

Most useful of all was an answer to the ‘How do I get linked from Fleshbot’ question I’m asked all the time. Here’s what you missed:

• Jonno (Fleshbot’s editor) has to make 12 sexually themed posts a day to satisfy his contract. That’s not easy. It means hes desperate to find high-quality stuff to link to and welcomes good submissions.
• High-quality means original. If you’re re-posting something you found elsewhere your chances of getting picked up are very slim.
• High-quality also means high-value. Lots of big pictures or a nice chunk of video are exactly what he wants. If it’s text, make it short, sweet, funny and brilliant (then add an original picture because every post at Fleshbot has to have one).
• Don’t use Flash or frames to present your content, they make it hard to link to.
• Make sure you’re able to pay for the bandwidth you’ll use if you make it in. A Fleshbot link can send a significant chunk of 200,000 people a day in your direction.
• Send your items (not your blog URL, but the specific post you’re submitting) to tips@fleshbot.com

This advice also holds true for getting linked from Wired’s sex blog Sex Drive and just about any of the other big blogs. Good luck (though if you do what’s been suggested you won’t need that much of it)

The 2006 Bloggies are now accepting nominations. Though anything that highlights great blogs is valuable, can the Bloggies really claim to represent the ‘best’, when only the blogs which receive the most votes make the shortlist?

You can nominate your favorites here. If you’re going to vote for SugarBank I’d suggest the ‘Best New Weblog’ category and thank-you.

The best of the blogs by the bloggers who blog them (this week starting with the letter ‘R’):

• Real? You decide (swelteringcelt.com)
• Reminder of Summer (domequeen.blogspot.com)
• Restraint (curvaceousdee.blogspot.com)
• Riding the Train (ambientstorm.blogspot.com)
• Right Now… (secretbrain.blogspot.com)
• Sanctuary (nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)
• Sitting Behind You (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)
• Snowballed (sexinga.blogspot.com)
• Stimulate Me, Penetrate Me (insatiablemrw.blogspot.com)
• The dancer… (dzerotica.blogspot.com)
• The Girlfriend (radicalvixen.com)
• The Peach On…. First Times (damnjezebel.com)
• Back at Last! (shaysexcolumn.blogspot.com)
• Blind Date (anyonesgirl.blogspot.com)
• Driving Passions (deltaofvenus.blogspot.com)
• Facial pictures… (pornster.blogspot.com)
• Fallen (in lust, love, sex, from grace….) (chaosnoir.blogspot.com)
• Femme de la cuisine (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)
• Girl interrupted……Pt 1 (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com)
• Gonzo interviews Gonzo Vasili K (sexblo.gs)

More Sugasm #16…

Join the Sugasm

(All Sugasm participants must post the 20 Sugasm links above. The following links are optional, but if they are ommited the ‘More Sugasm…’ link above must me included.)

• House of Sedalia (theholidaylife.blogspot.com)
• How to Look Like a Porn Star (sugarbank.com)
• I’m not a smoker I’m a midnight toker (mimredbeard.com)
• Kendra on Abby Winters (iloveabbywinters.com)
• Kitkast Outtakes #1.2 (mskitka.com)
• Lexie and Kristin on Sapphic Erotica (simply-saphicerotica.com)
• Lina and Rita by Morenko on Met-Art (sensualarousalblog.com)
• Looking For That Perfect Pose, Maybe You Can Help? (tirepaddle.com)
• Pallet wrap (mnsss.blogspot.com)

Image courtesy The S-Spot. Links lovingly policed by Sabrina Morgan.

As I’ve been reminded this week, making the most of a trip to Las Vegas is about more than pure cocaine and deniability. The merits of trade-shows are debateable, but if you’re making money in the sex industry you will eventually find yourself in a convention centre, hopefully glad you read this.

• Empty your bag. On your first day you’ll pick up a thousand free magazines, leaflets, business cards and, if you’re lucky, female booth models. They’re heavy and you’ll regret carrying much else.
• Wear comfortable shoes. You’ll walk a couple of miles on the show floor, if your shoes hurt you’ll get pissed off, act like a prick and people will hate you.
• Pack water. Unless $5 bottles of water and $7 hot dogs float your boat, you’ll be glad of having something to eat and drink in your bag.
• Ignore the first hour. The start of the show is about long lines and trying to find people who haven’t yet got out of bed. Pretend it’s not there.
• Ignore the last hour. The last hour is about people going home, packing up shop and getting pissed off that you’re trying to talk to them when they just want to go home. Forget about it.

Why don’t hotels put free toothpaste in their bathrooms?

I arrived back from Vegas a few hours ago, once again having packed with all the care of someone fleeing an earthquake. When I arrived I realized I’d forgotten my toothpaste. As I’ve found in every hotel I can remember being in, from roadside motels to five star pads, the bathroom of my room contained hand soap, shampoo, towels but no toothpaste. Why?

What’s the logic behind giving a guy hand-cream, moisturizer and a sewing kit but not a little Colegate? Seriously, for the business traveler toothpaste, a porn DVD and a packet of condoms would be infinitely more useful than a shower-cap. I’m on the edge of starting a ‘Gideons‘ like organization which leaves care packages in bedside tables for weary travelers with a note, “This toothpaste was left here by a pornographer”.

Then again, people might start to question the flavor.