A sex podcast presented by: Sam Sugar

Podnography #10.mp3 (128kbps - 51 MB) or (48kbps -19 MB)

(show notes (.pdf))

Podnography #10 includes:

The Week at Fleshbot

• Foot fetishes courtesy of Serafina (no - not the Latvian Witch)
• Pornographic Japanese office supply store, which simply had to exist, does
• Alt porn it’s okay to like for Suicide Girl refugees
• Burlesque performances captured on camera because stripping + French accent = art
• Union of one, Gram enters the world of porn character acting

Review

• Podcast - Open Source Sex

Music

• ‘Misty Rowe’ by Young Heart Attack

Interview

• Tera Patrick (pictured), adult movie superstar.

Guest Segment

• Dancing With Myself by Lumpesse

Contact Sam: Email podnography@gmail.com, or phone (310) 933-5993.

Subscribe to Podnography

(Podnography respects copyright. All content property of Sam Sugar, or used with permission)

Going Daily - text
(talkingdirty.blogspot.com)

Helpful Tips for National Porn Sunday - text
(mskitka.com)

Podnography #10 - Tera Patrick, Violet Blue and Foot Fetishes - podcast
(podnography.com)

Shock the Piggy! - text
(domesticdeviance.blogspot.com)

The Death of Suicide Girls - text
(sugarbank.com)

The jury is out on thongs - text
(lumpesse.com)

We’re Pleased To Say… - photo, text
(cointhiancouple.blogspot.com)

Join the bloggasm

Sometimes I worry that I’m not giving you readers enough of my unedited, stream-of-consciousness rambling. A lot of other bloggers feel the same and are helping out (and helping the whole planet if you think about it) by inviting me onto their blogs and podcasts, to regurgitate stuff thirteen year old Wizards tell me while I’m playing World of Warcraft.

The Movie Blog (don’t know what they blog about specifically - sorry) asked me a few questions about the new DVD formats for their podcast.

It’s been a big week. Since I mentioned networking last Sunday AOL has bought Weblogs Inc and Verisign has bought Weblogs.com. If you ever doubted that Fortune 500 CEO’s read SugarBank…

Since then I’ve spoken to business people who I didn’t know were reading this blog (hang loose G.W. - see you in Crawford), and refinded my ideas about networking. As it’s Sunday - which is members only day at SugarBank - let me share the principles I’d build a network around (borrowed from Ninja movies mostly). 

Making money’s okay
(A Ninja kills for pay)
Blogs that make money (the vast majority of those anyone cares about) need not be any less ‘authentic’ or ‘friendly’ than ‘hobby-blogs’. When it comes to sex, some people assume earning an income can’t sit comfortably with honesty and a ‘homemade’ aesthetic. That’s not only false, but the web ‘amateur’ niche is built around people making an income from their activities.

Making money’s not the point
(A Ninja kills for honor)
If building a network is about making people pay for what once was free it won’t fly. If revenue is used to make blogs better, by letting writers focus on writing. giving them a larger audience to write for and raising their profile in the fields they write about - it’ll work. Advertising serves the blogs, not vice-versa. Making money should not be done in a way that upsets, frustrates or excludes readers.

Teams always beat individuals
(A gang of Ninja’s can kill any number of non-Ninjas)
If you’re writing original material, making even two quality posts a day is a Herculean effort.  The blog networks have addressed this problem by employing teams of writers, who can collectively produce up to 40 posts a day. These teams produce the big blogs needed to anchor and feed every successful network.

In my view, the next logical step beyond an editorial team, is a community blog to its readers - which retains editorial bloggers for the quality and focus they provide. This hybrid model, a cross between community blogs (like Metafiler) and edited blogs (like Boing Boing), is currently (kinda/almost) in use at Fark.

Covering the world of sex this way is particularly natural, making it easy for people to anonymously share things they find appealing, and providing a space for bloggers to tell the world-beyond-their-blog what they’re saying. It also enables people who don’t want to run a blog, to publish their thoughts and be read - the very essence of online community.

All blogs are equal, some are more equal than others
(Batman is a Ninja who kills Ninjas, but Ninjas cannot kill Batman)
Traditional networks are ‘flat’, either aggregating blogs owned by a single entitiy, or linking blogs run by individuals - seldom both.  I see an advantage to combining the two approaches, allowing tight integration for bloggers who want the support and readers that can bring, while leaving the door open to more established blogs who want to be part of a community, but are strong enough to thrive without full access to network support. In the world of sex-sites, where the distance between readerships blog-to-blog can be galaxian (I made that word up and it’s a goody), this flexibility could make networking across the gaps possible.

No sell-out
(If you offer a guy a bribe, and he’s a Ninja, he’ll come back later in his Ninja clothes and teach you respect Kung-Fu style)
Many businesses only exist to attract a wealthy buyer in the mid-term. As the world realizes we’re now in the second internet bubble, the number of companies trying to stretch a thin idea in the hope of a quick return is rising daily. Blog networks are a huge part of the problem, but a sex-blog network won’t be.

A buyout is extremely unlikely (there are too few public companies comfortable enough to buy into sex), which means any sex-blog network has to be built with a future in mind, from a base which doesn’t require a big advertising budget or venture capital, and can only be considered a success if it works for its members and readers (unlike mainstream companies which are a ’success’ when they’re sold to a competitor). Sex-blog networking has to be done right.

So there you have it. Sex-blog networking the Sugar way. Continue to email me if you’re excited and thanks to all those who have - it’s been fun. Making this work requires plenty of sex-blog ninjas (SugarNinjas in ivory silk ninja costumes - so foxy.)

Whatever the subject of a pod, or video, cast, music is part of the polish which helps make things sound professional. The problem is, with every piece of recorded music in the Western world owned by one of five companies, staying legal is a problem. However tempting it is to drop a few bars of ‘Girls on Film’ into your show, it can get you barred from iTunes and perhaps worse, reveal that you’re a cheesy bastard.

You can make your own music with GarageBand (if you’re a Mac User… God knows what if you’re on a PC. They don’t come with music software. A paper and comb?) but let’s face it - if you had musical talent you’d be in a band. Ergo - you will only embarrass yourself, and need to rely on professionals for your tunes. Assuming you don’t have any money to pay a composer (even one who’s also a barman and you found on Craigslist) where can you go?

• Archive.org - this website is a vast repository of public domain works (not everything there is in the public domain, so be careful). You can download public domain media from any decade and use it how you like. Unfortunately, everyone in podcasting knows about Archive.org so finding clips no one else has used is getting difficult.
• MP3 Blogs - A few of these exist, sharing music which they’ve already cleared with record companies for online distribution. It’s a little grey but, if the blog’s distributing the music with permission, and you’re doing the same in your podcast, you’re actually helping the record company in its distribution and no one’s going to be upset. Of course, this is only true if the blog is being run legitimately. These ones are: Fluxblog, Music (for Robots), Molly O’Poverty’s Guide to (mostly) free music and SissorKick. Staccato is a podcast which does the same thing. Again be careful - if the blog only has rights to share the songs for a limited time, you’ll also have to abide by those rules to stay legal.
• Record Companies - Some forward thinking record companies, notably Sub Pop, have started making music available online, for free, as a promotional tool (Genius! Just like radio 80 years ago!) Sub Pop offer a great selection (kids I remember this band called Nirvana from before you were born…) If you know when you plan to use it, you could probably get away with using one of iTunes ‘Free music Tuesday’ songs, if you only make it available in the same week they post it.
• Pro Music Mags - For anyone reading this and yawning, this is where you wake up. British magazines have been giving away CD’s (and now DVD’s) for over a decade. On pro music magazines these discs contains samples, songs (which you probably can’t use) and loops. The loops, normally ranging from 4-32 bars, are professionally composed and played chunks of music, aimed at DJ’s and composers. They’re perfect music beds for podcasts, legal to use, and right now - I seem to be the only person who’s gone public about them. When loops are sold to musicians the prices start at hundreds of dollars, rising to cars and planes if you want Pharrell to do his thing. For the cost of a magazine (about $8) you can pick up a few royalty free loops for your show that will sound better than most un-signed bands, and won’t be as ubiquitous as the best Creative Commons stuff. Titles to look for are Future Music, Computer Music and Sound on Sound (Sound on Sound doesn’t have a DVD every issue though.)

(NB: If you want to help victims of Hurricane Katrina, SpectraSonics are selling 50 downloadable drum loops for $25 and donating all their profit to Habitat.org, who are rebuilding homes for victims.)

Making a porn movie with the intention of selling it requires more than a camcorder, Paris Hilton’s phone number and limitless supplies of gak (also known as snow, blow or charlie - only joking, drugs are for fools kids. Just. Say. No.)

That’s not to say making porn is difficult - a fact more obvious when you’ve spoken to a couple of porn’s more successful auteurs - but if you don’t plan before you start, you’ll have more than disappearing erections, PCR-DNA tests and sand in the AstroGlide to worry about.

• You don’t need a plot, and a poorly thought out plot is worse than none at all (e.g. the Da Vinci code hinges on hidden meaning in the words ‘Mona Lisa’, despite Leonardo’s painting not being called that until hundreds of years after his death, making a hidden meaning impossible. Sloppy Mr. Brown, sloppy.) What you do need is an idea - something to make your epic stand out from the five thousand other fuck-clicks currently in production. Don’t start without one - it’ll probably be your title e.g. ‘Pimp My Bride’ - see, it’s easy.
• Shoot what you know. It’s not smart to attempt things on camera you aren’t familiar with. Kink and fetish themes are particularly dangerous - there are few groups of people as frightening, or unforgiving, as angry geeks with hard-ons.
• Make a shot list. Imagine the whole movie in your head and write a list of everything you need to film. This will become your shot list, and by the time you’ve crossed off every item on it, you’ll be able to start editing without discovering you’re missing a crucial sperm juggling sequence.

Sam’s Swollen Tip: Do your homework. Look at what’s selling and note how many performers and scenes movies like yours contain, how long they run, and the kind of shots they use. If you want a movie that’ll sell, you have to know what’s going on in a very active market. Even breaking the rules means knowing them to start with.

Dermaphoria by Craig Clevenger.

(The following post is not porn-related, normal service will be resumed shortly)

I’m a lucky guy. I have a body women fight over, a car people try to buy from me when I stop at the coffee-shop, and a blog which is read than more people than I know (the crucial measure of blogging success.)

I also have a number of very talented friends, among them Craig Clevenger, the guy in my circle I’ll curse at when I’m in my seventies, and the movie of his life comes on my full-imersion, holographic TV for the third time in a week. We’ve all got one.

His new book, ‘Dermaphoria‘, is just out and once read, will become your default gift-choice for the next twelve months (Craig’s first book ‘The Contortionist’s Handbook‘ has filled that role for me since 2002.) Craig’s fans include Chuck ‘Fight Club‘ Palahniuk, Irvine ‘Trainspotting‘ Welsh and the team who put together the movie ‘Donnie Darko’. If you read ‘The Time Traveler’s Wife‘, Craig’s published by the same people. In a nutshell, he’s a shockingly talented writer.

I haven’t read Dermaphoria yet, but Publishers Weekly describe it as “…a sometimes brilliant, heavily stylized novel whose psychedelic prose and labyrinthine story line will enthrall some readers and enrage others.” That’s the perfect review, literature that doesn’t upset anyone is principally published by Hallmark.

Here’s what it says on the back:

“Eric Ashworth awakens in jail, unable to remember how he got there or why. All he does remember is a woman’s name: Desiree.

Bailed out and holed up in a low rent motel, Eric finds the solution to his amnesia in a strange new hallucinogen. By synthesizing the sense of touch, the drug produces a disjointed series of sensations that slowly allow Eric to remember his former life as a clandestine chemist. With steadily increasing doses, Eric reassembles his past at the expense of his grip on the present, and his distinction between truth and fantasy crumbles as his paranoia grows in tandem with his tolerance.”

You want to read it now damnit.

Links to his books at Amazon are below. There’s no affiliate payment stuff going on, I’m just happy to turn you on to a book you’ll love and Craig’s a friend. I know you’ll thank me when you’ve read them.

• Dermaphoria - Craig Clevenger (not about skincare)
• The Contortionists Handbook - Craig Clevenger (not about the circus)

Some of the equipment you’ll need to record your BBW/bukkake movie, titled ‘Nut Butter & Jelly’, is irreplaceable and beyond debate (the camera springs to mind), other stuff will make the difference between an expensive home movie, and an authentic, piss off the Attorney General, porn film.

Essentials:

• Camera. You can shoot on DV but the industry’s moving to HDV fast and it’s worth jumping on now (let’s hope you have talent who are still sexy with every pore, stretch-mark and gender-reassignment scar on display).
• Releases. Without paperwork proving that everyone on camera is over 18 you’re not making a movie, as much as producing evidence for the prosecution.
• An edit system. In 2005, any simple edit system provides tools Hitchcock would have killed for so, if your production’s not as interesting as ‘North by Northwest’, it’s your fault. On the flipside you have to edit, even if it’s just to remove those cute SNAFU’s (”Dude, is she asleep? She’s totally not moving dude…”) You can learn everything you need to know about editing from ‘The Five C’s of Cinematography‘ - well worth reading.

Technically Non-Essentials But, Trust Me, They’re Necessary:

• Baby Wipes. Good for de-jizzing people and things.
• Lube. Makes for happy fuckers.
• Toys. When woody doesn’t show, they’ll save your day and give you something to shoot.
• Robes/Slippers. Between shots, and during cigarette breaks, people need stuff to wear. If you have clean, fluffy robes for people to slip on you’ll be a very popular director (and save time wasted while people dress and undress).
• Stills Camera. It’ll help on a practical level (e.g. remembering what goes where) and provide the ‘behind-the-scenes’ shots you’ll use for marketing and PR.

Sam’s Swollen Tip: You can get access to professional camera equipment, and someone who knows how to use it, via an ad on Craigslist looking for a news camera operator. Most local news is shot by independent camera operators who own their gear. When they’re not working, their gear sits around, the interest on their loans accumulates, and they dream of making money on the side shooting porn. I’ve never met a camera operator who didn’t ask me if there’s any extra work I can get them, and they’ll do a better job than you ever could yourself.

The most important part of any porn movie is the cast - specifically the women (or men If you’re working the homosexualist/gaysexual tip.) Your cast will determine what happens in your movie, and the kind of success you can expect to have. Anything, however poorly shot, which features Jenna Jameson or Tera Patrick is worth thousands today; if you cast your movie right, the only thing left to worry about is screwing (oh! I’m punning) things up.

• Ladies first. Start by casting your female leads. If that’s your other half make sure you discuss what’s going to happen and what’s expected.  Asking your wife how much she likes the postman three minutes before a scene isn’t going to work. If you’re not working with your partner, a talent agency is going to be easier and quicker than advertising (ads can work but, outside LA, the chances of finding the right sort of people are slim.) Going to an agent gives you more choice, and more protection, than asking members of your AA group.
• Choose men based on reliability. Looks and size are nice (thank you, it’s a gift) but choose male performers for their ability to get wood on demand and keep it for extended periods (unless the theme of your movie is ‘getting toothpaste back into the tube’). If you’re the male talent, expect erectile dysfunction and have a plan B. Plan B can be a sex-toy, another performer or a ’stunt cock’ - i.e. a guy whose reliable cock stands in for yours.
• Get tests. Everyone you shoot needs to be tested for STD’s, even if they’re ‘just’ sharing toys (anyone who comes into contact with body fluids has to be tested and clear). The industry expects performers to pay for their own testing (unless they’re under contract to a studio). Make sure you know what a real test looks like - call the testing center to verify if you don’t. Using condoms is a really smart idea.
• Prep in advance. The camera sees detail you ignore in the heat of the moment, i.e. freshly waxed flesh looks like cold chicken peppered with tiny scabs, and bra’s leave dents in boobs for up to an hour after they’ve been removed. Speak to your performers so they can wax a couple of days before the shoot, and arrive for work braless. If guys are going to shave, make sure they have adequate time to heal/get stitches. Few people outside porn spend much time staring at their exposed ass - ensure everyone checks their airlock for Klingons.
• Confirm ID. Traci Lords had a real passport which showed a fake age, there’s nothing you can do about that, you will go to jail however if you accept a third generation Xerox of a video-rental card as proof-of-age. Insist on originals and check carefully, any mistakes made will be your problem. Don’t even take a test shot until you’re sure the ID’s good, and remember that in the US today, it’s effectively illegal to shoot anyone who doesn’t have a US ID (i.e. a foreign passport won’t work). Take a picture of each performer with their ID so you can prove they gave it to you.

Sam’s Swollen Tip: Whatever your plans, make sure everyone you cast knows what you plan to shoot and has agreed to it. You’ll be surprised at what people are sensitive about (the standing joke in porn concerns how much pickier people are about who they kiss than who they screw). If your plans and your cast don’t mesh, change something before you’re on location wasting time and money.

A sex podcast presented by: Sam Sugar

Podnography #11.mp3 (128kbps - 55 MB) or (48kbps - 21 MB)

(show notes (.pdf))

Podnography #11 includes:

The Week at Fleshbot

• Janet Jackson’s nipples - there are some things you can’t un-see.
• Jenna’s custom guitar - looks like a panel van.
• Harris Interactive Porn Poll - “What should we do about porn?"
• Statue Molestors - let’s face it, some statues are just asking for it.
• Naked Ambition - the long awaited book is no longer awaited.

Review

• Podcast - Fetish Flame

Interview

• Dave Naz, photographer.

Contact Sam: Email podnography@gmail.com, or phone (310) 933-5993.

Subscribe to Podnography

(Podnography respects copyright. All content property of Sam Sugar, or used with permission)