No listings for you!
Google are a company I respect. If they didn’t exist, my life would be considerably more difficult.
That aside, getting an email out of them which hasn’t been written by a customer-relations expert and sent by a computer is proving difficult. They have that whiff of ‘tech guy’ about them. You know the, ‘if you don’t think this is clear it’s because you’re stupid, not because I haven’t explained things clearly’ crap geeks love. It makes me feel like putting on some Phil Collins and breaking out my nail-gun.
I’m in a Kafkaesque feedback loop regarding finding out why PSP Porn is excluded from their listings:
Google - “Website not appearing in our listings? Read the tips on this page.”
Sam - I read the tip, they’re obvious, it’s not the answer I need.
Google - “Need more help? Contact us!”
Sam - I fire off a business-like missive ‘Dear Sir/Madam at Google, What the fuck is going on…’
Google - Send me an email which contains a copy of the text from the help page whose failing led me to email them in the first place.
Sam - Kick dog. Finish cereal, whiskey. Write blog post.
I have responded to Google’s email and will keep you informed as I investigate this further. If I can find out why I’m blacklisted, or get the decision reversed, I’ll pass on what I discover.
On a less FUBAR note (FUBAR is an old Army phrase that means ‘Fill-Up a Bear’s Ass with Rhubarb’. In WWII it was the least popular, most dangerous, task a Private was ever asked to perform), I was quoted in Wired yesterday. Does this mean I’m legitimate?
(NB: If reading this blog ever lands you in trouble, you can now excuse yourself by saying you were doing background reading on that article. )
Yeah, I don’t want to get into trouble.
FUBAR also means Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.
Background reader - that’s a common misconception, which is why I thought I had to be so specific.
My grandfather told me this before he taught me how to trim the rhubarb so it causes the bear as little irritation as possible.
Have you read this article on The Return Of Design’s site?
http://www.returnofdesign.com/45/how-we-screwed-up-our-seo—-and-how-you-can-avoid-it.html
They had a similar situation going on, so hopefully it might help…
Good luck !
Joshua,
That’s really interesting. Thanks for the link. Wow. That might be it you know. I’d never thought of it in those terms. I wonder….
I have firends at Google but am reluctant to ask them to (it’s hardly their area(s) anyway).
The downside is - how can a new site ever benifit from it’s own success if all rapid success if viewed as suspect?
Something’s going on with the Google Dance. Sexoteric’s entire site has disappeared from Google, too.